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Reviews
Jacqueline Novak: Get on Your Knees (2024)
Comedy writer desperate for fame
Another over-produced (and under edited) live act from Netflix based on Jacqueline Novak' one woman show "Get on your knees" it still is a one woman show. This isn't standup. Think Gadsby and just as not funny.
I was worried from the interview she did with Maron on WTF that this would be pretty bad...wasn't wrong. In the interview she spent a lot of time on "viewing numbers" & "wanting to appear like i've already made it" (paraphrasing) For some reason no one edited the special into something shorter. Her material simply wasn't strong enough for 90 minutes, or maybe even 40....
The beginning was a big tip off for me. Average jokes about walking the stage, 69 and at about four minutes in the was out of breath...for the rest of the performance. At some points she obviously loses the thread of the joke and has to back off...then straight back in. A 7 minute bit on the word "penis"
Novak' material is stuff you've heard in one form or another, not so much the evolution of Amy Schumer but more a bland offshoot.
It felt like a lowbar standup who has no draw was given a netflix slot, like a ton of other stuff they produce.
Chances are she may be a funny sitcom writer in some sense, but she ain't cut out for standup.
Meet Me in the Bathroom (2022)
As a musician I was embarrassed to watch most of it
From the prima dona' behavior of the talentless monotone that is Julian Casablancas to the unbearable "I'm a woman in rock" idiocy from the moron singer of the YEAH YEAH YEAHS (a one speed band thats extremely overrated)
Let's not forget the poor songwriting and performances from "The Moldy Peaches" a band whose friends never did the humane thing of telling them they sucked. Especially unsettling is her 9/11 song...cudos if you don't end up skipping to protect your ears.
The one band that came across as moderately professional was Interpol.
It seemed doing drugs and being at fashion parties (or slumming on MTV, stuff they all would have made fun of but happily did it seems) was the point. There was no"immersive journey" and it shouldn't be called a documentary, it jumps around so much that it's more just a collection of scene kid op-eds.
Most directors usually fail badly when they try to do a broad overview of a time in music and this was no different.
I would say to people though: not all musicians are precious little flowers like what's on display here, some of us actually work really hard (unlike the singer from the moldy peaches)
Midway (2019)
The "most accurate" ww2 film has a ton of innacuracies
The film is poorly written (the dialogue becomes so cheesy in parts i had to actually look away from the screen) relies far too heavily on CGI, the acting cast is awful. The direction just as bad.
I'm not sure how it got the "most accurate" thing too, the list of inaccuracies are too many to name but within 10 minutes of the film starting it shows the pearl harbour attacks with japanese planes flying almost level to the U. S. S Arizona. This never happened, attack fighters do not fly so low as to go through the smoke billowing out of their targets.
I found the film lacked the serious tone of dunkirk and felt like a green screen production on crack. Very yank.
Not good.
I'd hope in future the directors and producers are not given a serious historical subject to butcher.
Hustle (2022)
Really great apart from Ben Foster
The cast, direction, coloring & cinematography were all great.
The script was extremely clunky and needed more humor, it felt forced in a lot of the film.
The basketball scenes themselves were really well done & the filming looked nice.
Ben Foster though couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. He delivers his lines with zero conviction & feels like it's pissing him off to even be there.
I'm not sure why he was cast considering he brings down the film with his scenes.
Could have been a damn sight better with his exclusion and I am surprised producers signed off on his annoying, talentless acting & even worse face.
Keith Richards: Under the Influence (2015)
A brief description of Keith' music & influences, not the story of his life.
An incredibly short-sighted & narrow "documentary" about Keith richards musical beginnings and life.
But the documentary doesn't touch on any of his personal life, ever. At all. For the entire thing.
I just don't know why with that access you would make something so boring & pale about one of the most colorful people in rock history.
The Director Morgan Neville has a history of this kind of fluffy autobiographical film making and he should consider quitting.
Whitney Cummings: Jokes (2022)
Netflix continues to bottom out the specials market with awful bombing
Cummings is an amateur at standup comedy.
Like most "standups" she is a podcast host, this should tell you all need to know of the quality of material and performance this was.
He jokes are tired, samey tropes you've heard before.
She relies so heavily on being physical onstage that she forgets her material is awful to begin with.
There are great women out there doing this, Ms. Pat comes to mind but Whitney Cummings should really quit standup because...she isn't good at it.
The Phantom of the Open (2021)
Cheesy & Amateurish for a triple bogey.
Not sure how it got greenlit. The script, the antagonizing sentimentality or obvious fictions.
If you're not that bright you'll probably find it "inspirational" or something but for people with half a brain it's a hard pass.
Man vs Bee (2022)
The one speed bicycle of British comedy returns
It's a poor concept that's badly done. He's well past his used by date and was always overrated as a comedian for someone so one note. You can see why Netflix is hemorrhaging money and will soon take on ads to get by, they over-invested in comedy and original content with most of it being very passable.
This is one of those productions.
Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe (2022)
Mike Judge restores your faith in Comedy
It's stupid, It's childish and it's awesome. Everything in 2022 is serious virtue signaling boredom, even comedy.
Modern Cartoons like Stephen Colbert' "Fairview" have no lasting power the way Beavis and Butthead always will because their writing is based on whatever political view of the day is popular and not actually shaping a character to be memorable over time.
God's Favorite Idiot (2022)
Boring concept poorly executed
Melissa McCarthy is back to ruin whatever this was meant to be. She's never been funny, not sure why she keeps getting work as everything she does bombs.
The show is a one note, poorly written and produced nightmare so ofcourse netflix was behind it.
Don't bother.
The Problem with Jon Stewart (2021)
Shameful displays of bigotry to try and fit in with a new generation
It was really sad to see Jon leave rationality behind in the last episode, his and the panels attacks on Andrew were completely unjustified and, well, hateful.
I lost any respect I had for Jon Stewart after watching the series. It was awful to see his show lump a group of people together as having one opinion about racism, it's history and how long it's been around....talk about bigotry.
He is only trying to remain relevant like the 2000s, it's sad to see a lot of older "comedians" try this route.
I would be surprised if it gets a second season.
The First Lady (2022)
Poor Concept show about how boring it is to be first lady.
My word how did this one make it out of development?!
The three leads: two washed up has beens and Viola Davis who was brilliant in "Fences" but is absolute rubbish in this
As if there is anything even moderately interesting about a ceremonial role which has little to no effect on the governing of the country, the job is mostly elbow length gloves, glad handing and reworking the white house garden.
Michelle Obama.... is obviously the most interesting but it's mostly about social media in the show, not much about taking on the food industry and losing big time. The guy who plays Obama is god awful, can't even do the voice!
Betty Ford...How much more inconsequential could you get! Once again Husband done dead poor.
Eleanor Roosevelt...Deeply interesting but far uglier than every high school nerds crush from the 90s Scully. My god they did the Roosevelts so so poorly, Franklin...have the producers ever seen a photo?
It's usually bad stuff if Showtime is involved but what rubbish! And before you accuse me of sexism the first male first lady will be just as meaningless.
David Spade: Nothing Personal (2022)
An Old Spade tries to remain relevant and not completely gray-haired
It's sad to see Netflix once again smatter the comedy market with more one-note specials like David Spade. Not a good standup, never was, is famous for being on SNL 20+ years ago and one film. I imagine because of being one of the sandler gang he still gets some nods (his various new netflix "films" are more example of this.
It's a boring special, modern day "what's the deal with air travel?" comedy. It's mostly narcissistic self-referencing jokes.
No tribute to Norm Macdonald a supposedly "good friend" of Spades.
Talentless little dweeb.
White Elephant (2022)
Sad to see Malkovich taking on such poor material
It's a low budget payday for everyone involved, you can watch the movie simply by the poster.
I'm not sure who is funding this stuff but they are definitely losing money.
Life Itself (2014)
Roger Ebert had sh#t taste in films
I'm not sure why people bang on about ebert so much, he gave "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" 3 out of 4 stars.
He's the idiots guide to film basically.
Norm Macdonald: Nothing Special (2022)
Norm's final bite of the "special" apple
It was fantastic to see the old chunk of coal's face come on the screen, to hear his voice and inflections. But fans of this would do well to go on youtube and listen to his old full set recordings (bootlegged by fans) :
All of the material is years old & well road tested. There is nothing new about Nothing Special.
That isn't a knock on Norm, The stupid plague robbed us (as Dave mention's in the commentary his Covid set a day before lockdown is incredible)
and robbed Macdonald of the right setting & health to allow him to work out a proper special. This is like being in the writers room which is a cool insight. I can't imagine what it is like facing the end and wanting to get stuff done in your art (or craft as he would call it) but all the way until he couldn't he wanted to make people laugh.
That makes it his richest special of the three he did.
Fairview (2022)
Colbert produced garbage lets comedy central hit a new low.
It's a real shame to see such a poorly animated, drawn, voice recorded show would ever make it past development.
The obvious political virtue signaling seems strange to me, as if the left thinks it can insult it's way to power.
Colbert has been shown to be completely flat comedically since stopping the colbert report, he has singlehandedly ruined late show and now anything he touches seems to be incredibly unfunny.
I used to love watching him send up the right and left in interesting ways, but takeaway the character and all you are left with is ideas like Fairview.
I assume it will be cancelled after the absolute dumpster fire reviews it has gotten.
Father Stu (2022)
Mark Wahlberg faux sentimental crap
I'm not sure who this is targeted at besides naive plebs. It's substandard film making, generic story & Wahlberg is about as sincere as when he tried to have a hate crime conviction struck off his criminal record.
Why on earth you would have two of the worst people such as Wahlberg and Gibson is beyond me.
The ultimate takeaway is religious nuts usually produce self serving crap in film to try and satisfy some strange sense of guilt which they can't express normally.
Avoid this film like covid.
Ricky Gervais: SuperNature (2022)
Violence is Violence, This is a comedy special darling.
People love to change the meaning of words these days, it's a really recent phenomorphan & for some reason any joke that a particular group doesn't like they classify it as "violence"
No one forced anyone to watch Ricky on Netflix yet these people go out of their way to be offended, like standing a ladder on their toilet cistern to look through their neighbors bedroom window then complain about what they see.
And if what these people are saying were true you'd see a representation of it in real, tangible terms...but I am yet to hear a bigot or mass shooter say they did it because Hannah Gadsby isn't funny (she isn't) or because someone told a trans joke...
The backlash reminds me of the republican party in the 1990s holding "dangerous music & gaming" hearings trying to say it was a huge influence on behavior...it wasn't.
It's a great special, it's well written and actually has a part where he explains the importance of "intent" in joke telling, apparently his critics weren't paying attention in that bit.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015)
None of the Charm of Late Show with Letterman
It's a real shame CBS went with him, he's samey & not a real host. He was a fake talk show host and that worked, CBS didn't think about taking away his character...all you are left with is pussified Colbert.
It's mostly democratic talking points, Trump stuff & covid "humor"
Dave' show was absurd & silly in the most brilliant way, it was a way to turn off from the day and have fun for an hour.
Colbert comes out and does ten minutes about a school shooting & how america needs to "change"
Hoping he retires sooner than letterman did.
Christina P.: Mom Genes (2022)
Christina P: Feels like an Open Mic Night.
It's hard to know where to start with this "special"
Her jokes are Samey, you've heard them before in one form or another from some fat mother. Her delivery is over the top & makes the already poorly written material come off with a lot of desperation mixed in. Feels a lot like Janeane Garofalo mixed in with someone trying comedy for the first time at an open mic.
Anyone with half a brain knows why this loudmouth idiot is getting multiple Netflix specials, It's just a shame they would rather produce very average standup instead of putting up more new comedians.