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Reviews
The App That Stole Christmas (2020)
i am in a general state of confusion.
It's been over 12 hours since I've watched this movie and I'm still just as confused as I was when I first turned it on. The plot is scattered and there's a lot of scenes that didn't really need to be there. The movie is 63 minutes long, and they have unnecessary scenes. I think that speaks for itself.
The actors weren't bad. Santa made me audibly laugh a couple of times, and Ellen and Ben did great (even though a lot of their lines were awkwardly written). I love the black representation within the cast too, we love to see it.
Buttttt like I said, a lot of the skit was awkward. At one point, the kid says something like "I connected with my friends on the TikTok app", and, I'm sorry, but that's not how children talk. A lot of conversations felt forced and artificial, like the characters were bad NPCs or something. Also, they never explicitly say what the app is. Like, Felix orders Chinese food on it, Ben plays video games on it, you can get things shipped within *20 MINTUES???* on it? Did he create every app?? I don't even know!
Honestly, if someone asked me for a synopsis of this movie, I'd be stumped. It just feels like an fever dream. I'm sorry.
The Knight Before Christmas (2019)
A Solid 5 Methinks
I would say its just a "generic Christmas movie", but to be fair, I haven't seen knights from the 1300s in many Hallmark movies. Even so, the plot was fairly predictable, and we were able to guess what Circle's "mysterious quest" was from the start.
(Ok but his name is Sir Cole. *Sir Cole*. Circle. This is the funniest thing in the entire movie and i laughed my butt off everytime it was said LMAO)
There are a lot of unnecessary plot elements and characters too. And don't get me wrong, Paige my beloved, but why was she there lol. She was basically just an excuse for the main character to say what she's learned out loud, but there were so many more opportunities to do that. I ended up getting some of the side characters confused, and I ended up thinking that a lot of them would be main characters, but they never showed up thrice.
The movie also just dragggeeeddd onnnn. Like the two main characters kiss and you're like "omg he did it" and he gets teleported back and you're like "wow what a good conclusion" BUT THERES STILL 30 FLIPPIN MINUTES LEFT. Because of course they needed to add a generic Sad Scene(tm) and a Reconnection Scene(tm) and then a random Christmas Party(tm) at the end, just for the fun of it.
I'm a bit of a critic, I must say. Overall, I didn't hate the movie. I would watch it again if somebody hadn't seen if before. I'm not completely repulsed - there were some other good elements. Like the lesson was pretty generic but it was a bit heartearming, and I did find myself getting genuinely into it during the scene when the children got lost. But it's definitely not the *most* entertaining movie, and there are definitely better Christmas movies out there.