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Kimerawolf
Reviews
Monster Man (2003)
You Haven't seen a Monster truck until you've seen this film.
Five minutes in, i started to feel how naff this was looking, you've got a completely unheroic hero and his overweight fool of a friend. Seen it all before, yeah right. I was getting ready to be bored out of my mind for a good few hours. This is something i have become quite used to... haven't we all. Then after a few minutes of testosterone fuelled insults and such, the truck appeared. Okay the filming techniques used to make it look fast were clumsy, but who cares! That truck is amazing! Soon however that is taken away again and we're back to the geek and his overweight friend. But now i'm satisfied that at least it won't be too terrible. I then proceed to be amazed again and again by the cleverness of the film. There are so many jokes at their expense, it's like everyone in the world is in on this except the two of them. The mind behind the makeup and effects was a genius i swear it. Believe me, if you are a man you miss so many of the jokes in this film, there is so much here that only a girl can understand.
Brother Bob is by far the best hillbilly killer that can be found anywhere, the fact that he's sewn together just adds to the effect. There are of course some really dud science facts in here, but isn't that always the case. When our 'hero' is having a nose bleed and using the blood to lead brother Bob to his death, now that is rubbish. There is no way a nose bleed can be that bad and not mean a severed artery or something. I'm all with the use of too much blood, but that is taking it a little too far. The incest jokes are a little predictable but funny nonetheless. And the way brother bob meets his end is more than classic. Overall, this movie rules, it really breaks out of the overacted melodramatic strain of horror that we got so much of in 2003-2005. The end of this move simply could not have been better.
This is a definite must watch for anyone who likes their horror with several side orders of gore and attitude.
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
An Excellent Ghost Movie.
I have to admit that this is the only film, that when i went to see it in the cinema, i actually saw the popcorn effect in action. That moment when the ghost appears behind the glass and Rafkin screams, that was when the snack food started to fly. That in itself says something very good about this movie. Packed with brilliant special effects, an all star cast, some truly funny moments, some truly jumpy moments, and possibly the best haunted house ever made.... This movie is very high on my list of films i would recommend.
After scream i really thought that Lillard had found his calling in the Horror/Slasher Genres, this films reinforces that with avengance, he plays the character perfectly, it is like the part was written for him. He is an excellent actor anyway, but this movie really provided him with a chance to shine.
The person who designed the ghost for this film should get some kind of award for them, they are nothing short of genius, with a high gross out factor, and a big shock factor when they first appear. They storyline as well is a very clever piece of thinking, and the house is sheer beauty to anyone who loves interesting architecture, the idea that it is a huge key/machine into hell is very neat. But i can't help feeling that every time i watch it transform a little more from the outside that it looks a little like a futuristic metal and glass rubix cube.
As i said earlier, this film is high on my recommending list. The only thing holding it away from ten stars for me, is the choice of characters to kill, i would have chosen differently. The other problem of course with this film is that anytime you are filming in a completely glass set, the crew are going to be seen either in reflections or through the walls, and there is more than enough of these mistakes to be found in this movie. Other than that...this movie gets two major thumbs up!
Route 666 (2001)
Now THIS is a Road Horror Movie The Way it Should Be!
WARNING:Spoiler content! This movie is excellent, right from the start, it is clever, quirky, slick, and really really funny. Also, to the trained eye, it is packed full of so much symbolism that there is almost no scene where one cannot be found. The characters are clever and represented wonderfully by the people who play them, especially Rabbit, you have to love that guy, even if you find him a constant irritation, the film would definitely not be complete without him. The storyline is nice, well thought out, and spreads the action out nicely over the length of the film. Providing us (the audience) with a good dose of revenge, humour, irritation, entertainment, maybe even a little fear for the weak hearted and squeamish watchers, and finally and a little unexpectedly, the iron man (La Rocha)having a sentimental moment at the end with his father.
The only thing that stopped this movie getting ten out of ten for me was the female lead, she is a great actress and fit into the part really well, i just find that her voice offends my hearing to such a degree that i can hardly bear to listen, it really grates against the ears. Other than that, this is an amazing film, i would recommend it to anyone looking for something that is not particularly scary but nonetheless highly entertaining.
Cursed (2005)
A Spirited Stylish Were-Romp
Right from the first half hour of this movie I loved it, it is slick and well paced with plenty of twists, oodles of style and as an added bonus it has the looks and talent of Micheal Rosenbaum to back it up!(he looks SO much better with hair!) It isn't quite correct in it's reproduction of the were-legend but there are very few films out there that are. Both writers and directors are often guilty of changing the original idea in order to fit it better into their film. I have to admit though, that whilst it is not completely faithful, it does do a very satisfying job of the weres, even though they vaguely resemble upright Neanderthal dogs.
As far as modern, urbanised Gothic film goes, this is one of the best i have seen in a long while, the graphics are cleverly done, the killings are almost convincing. No wonder the name Wes Craven is on the front cover. This film has the feel of a Craven movie, you don't spend months having nightmares about it, but when you've finished watching it, you can definitely smile and say that it was a highly entertaining few hours... and you may feel inclined to search the room briefly before you go to bed....
Skeletons in the Closet (2001)
A Snore-Fest of Epic proportions.
I have to admit, that out of the many many thriller movies i have seen, this has to be one of the worst. I was shocked to discover that this piece of work had a 1.5 mil budget. When it started, i thought that the opening sequence was pretty good, fairly standard for this kind of film, but pretty good anyway. But as the film progressed i began to feel distinctly uncomfortable with the lack of pace that i was seeing, each sequence seemed to take hours. The reason for this could have been that by now the film had already bored me to tears, nothing was happening other than endless accusations peppered with confusing flashbacks and the occasional fit of bad temper. Well ... after wading through what felt like a lifetime of these scenes we finally reached the big finale...an all singing, all dancing demonstration of how lack of imagination can completely ruin what could have been a good film.
Overall i found this movie predictable and tedious and I would not recommend this film to anyone other than those people i personally dislike, but if you have a couple of hours to waste and you want to watch a thriller that is not even remotely scary, this is the movie for you.