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Reviews
High Hopes (2024)
Scripted Reality Trash
It started with potential and could have been interesting if they kept it about the dispensary, but they couldn't even get through one episode without turning focus onto the wannabe Kardashian bimbo employees and their personal passive aggressive melodrama. That and the awkwardly forced scripted moments just make this another brain damagingly stupid trash "reality" show.
I also don't like how all of the humor is just perpetuated stoner stereotypes. How many "marijuana users are so stupid" jokes can you cram into a 30 minute episode? It gets old fast and it just goes on and on like that's all they've got. Actually, that is all they've got. Like 90% of the show is just them finding stupid people to say stupid things and you're supposed to think it's because of the marijuana and not that these people are just idiots.
The Floor (2024)
Flawed and likely rigged
It's absolutely infuriating that when someone doesn't know an answer, the other person doesn't have to answer it. This is a tragic flaw. It essentially turns each showdown into a coin toss. The clues start very obvious, quickly turn obscure, and then flip back to obvious. Whoever happens to be unfortunate enough to get stuck with the first obscure clue loses several seconds by stumbling or passing and then it's over. That few seconds is all it takes to lose and they can get stuck in an endless loop of unknown clues until their time runs out and their opponent wins without having to answer anything.
This flaw makes the entire premise of the show pointless. They might as well just get up there, flip a coin, and whoever gets tails loses because how much you know means absolutely nothing. Nobody wins by answering more clues. They all win by default when their opponent can't answer or stumbles on a clue that they themselves don't have to answer. This would be fixed by simply having a contestant pass the question to the other contestant and having them stumble on it as well and then they're both even for both not knowing it. But nope, only one person gets punished.
This makes me really suspect the entire thing is rigged. They purposely throw in an obscure clue to the person they want to lose and by design it cannot be passed and hurt the chosen winner. There's no way anyone designed and implemented this game without realizing what's happening. This has to be purposely done to give guaranteed control of the outcomes. So it's either rigged or a coin toss. No knowledge required either way.
One Piece (2023)
Good but Corny
This is well produced, shot, acted, etc. Overall, it's well done, but why is it made with 30-year-olds behaving and acting like children? It gives it a really odd and corny feel. It's like they wanted to make a kids' show, but wanted adults to watch it, so instead of using kids, they used adults acting like kids. It's bizarre and doesn't really work for me. Like a lot of their lines are straight up things a 5-year-old would say coming out of the mouth of an adult and it's weird. It works and makes sense if you think of the characters as kids, so why didn't they just use kids?
It's weird to me, but I also think adults collecting children's toys, dressing up to go to movies, and furry conventions are weird. So maybe that's the target audience? Age regressive adults who like acting and talking like children? I don't know, but it didn't work for me.
The Machine (2023)
Bad
Putting this as nice as I can, Bert is a person of low intelligence and his comedy is for low intelligence people. Just look at the rating for this movie and it should explain.
Why are so many people giving it 10 stars? Seriously, 10 out of 10? The rating for the very best of the best of all time? The rating of a perfect movie? The movies where there are none better and therefore receive the highest rating possible? THIS MOVIE???
Why is that? Because the people who like movies like this are very stupid people. So stupid that they don't understand how movie ratings work and can't even comprehend what a 10 star movie actually is or what that means. I get that some people might like it and that's ok, but even if you like it you can't call it 10 stars. That's objectively wrong. You can still like it and give it a positive rating (like 5 or 6 stars) without calling it the best movie ever made. But that's beyond their intellectual capacity and that should tell you everything you need to know about this movie and who likes it.
Painkiller (2023)
Oh The Irony
There's something ironic about Netflix trying to cash in and capitalize on the stories of those who have had their lives ruined by the opioid epidemic by making another show about it. That's all this is; milking every last dollar out of the suffering of these poor people in the name of corporate greed.
Yes, it's an important story that everyone should see and understand, but it's already been done numerous times, in various formats, much better and much more accurately. So what is the point of this cheesy, fake, made-for-TV-movie like take on it that's years late to the party?
Well, Netflix saw everyone else making money off of it and thought, "We should do that, too." They wanted some of that profiting off the tragedy and suffering for themselves and they weren't going to let truth, accuracy, budget, writing, or acting get in their way. So here you have it, the result of another corporation willing to do anything for a dollar with no respect for decency or human life.
The Parent Test (2022)
Designed for Shock Value
Parents and their children are put into scenarios strictly designed for the greatest TV shock value that have little to nothing to do with actual parenting. They're not even real life scenarios that would ever actually happen and don't shown anything except kids acting like kids. Big surprise, they do stupid things and make bad decisions because... they're kids.
But that's not even the bad part. It's the overly judgmental panel of other parents they put together, who sit there taking notes on the absurd videos as they're shown, and then cast judgement on the other parents for how their kids acted in these stupid situations that don't actually mean anything. It's just horrible, judgmental, hypercritical, nosy, degrading, toxic, disgusting human behavior put on display. The show has nothing to do with kids or parenting. It's all about making people feel like they're in a position of authority and then watching them rip into other people and cut emotional holes in them until they cry, to the tune of dramatic music and editing. I couldn't even finish two episodes because it just made me feel dirty. What kind of psychopaths find that entertaining?
Magic for Humans (2018)
Fake Magic
Some of this might be legit, but some is also obviously staged. Even for the parts that are real, all integrity is lost when you have five different camera angles and there is a cut every three seconds. There are so many cuts that you can't even follow what's going on sometimes.
There also seems to be a theme to a lot of the tricks, being that it just depends on probability. That meaning if you do a trick a certain number of times, it's going to work a certain percentage of the time and you can just not use the ones that didn't work. As an example, I ask what your favorite color is, you say blue, and I flip over a sign that says blue. That's just me doing the "trick" enough times that I get someone to answer blue and don't show you all the times people said something else. That's not magic. That's just stupid. And that's half the show.
Nisser (2021)
Horrendous Dubbing
I couldn't make it through an episode the audio dubbing is so bad. It sounds like people who don't know how to read sitting around trying to read a script.
Voyeur (2017)
Directionless
This is one of those documentaries where they shoot a bunch of footage and then they try to figure out the story they want to tell after and it just ends up directionless with no real story. The subject is interesting, but the movie isn't about that. It's just about two people trying to get a book published and that's not very interesting.
Untold: Crimes and Penalties (2021)
Shouldn't Be Glorified
This is an interesting story, but I don't like how they glorify it and everyone in it. It's a story about truly awful people who put together a hockey team of all the biggest bullies, goons, and criminals they could find and turned a legitimate sport into professional wrestling with a stadium full of idiots screaming for blood and not hockey. And just because they made money, the show makes everyone out to be heroes when they should all be in jail. I would give it 7 stars, but I can't get over the spin they put on it to glorify what these people did.
Here Comes the Boom (2012)
The Plot of Happy Gilmore
This movie has the exact same plot as Happy Gilmore, but replace golf with MMA and remove all the comedy.
Unlikely hero has to raise money. Starts doing a sport that he has no experience at but has an unexplainable natural talent for. The bad guy takes all the money he has earned right when he gets enough. He has to win the final match to make all the money in one shot. He has a comical washed up ex-pro coach him along the way and a clueless caddie I mean cornerman. There's even a pretty girl he's trying to get the whole movie who he finally gets at the end. It's the exact same movie... except not funny.
The Curse of Von Dutch (2021)
Not interesting enough for 3 hours
This whole story could have been told in probably 30 minutes and it might have been interesting, but it's dragged out over 3 hours with mostly interviews of stupid people telling boring stories irrelevant to the storyline. It's a desperate attempt to make an interesting story out of something not that interesting.