Reviews

What would you do to bring back a loved one from the dead? If you answered "ANYTHING" then this movie will have you constantly aggravated.

The protagonist of this movie is absolutely unbearable. She has the chance to bring back her child, but squanders the opportunity due to cowardice, entitlement, and ultimately selfishness.

Think of the movie Taken, where Liam Neeson has to infiltrate a human trafficking ring to get his daughter home safely. Now imagine instead he just has to play a game of Uno (and he doesn't even have to win, just play) but he ends up rage quitting halfway through because the guy next to him keeps playing Skip cards and Liam is fed up with it. That is essentially what this gal did.

Here is the list of tasks she must complete to resurrect the innocent child she allowed to perish whilst she was high on drugs.

1. Take 3 days off work. She clearly was up for Employee of the Month and didn't want to jeopardize that.

2. Sit in a circle. I get it, sitting with your legs criss cross applesauce can be rather uncomfortable.

3. Repeat words. What human would want to mirror a parrot without the benefit of being perched on a pirate's shoulder?

4. Consume yucky stuff. I mean, sure, people have eaten things 10 times nastier in Round 2 of Fear Factor for the chance of winning $50k, but can you put a price on your child's life? Apparently yes, and it's less than $50k.

5. Reward another grieving parent with this same blessing. Spreading kindness is not all its built up to be. Afterwards, you have to deal with tears of joy and feeling whole inside for the first time in your life.

Look, maybe there was more to her sacrifice, but if that's the case then it wasn't made clear. As things stand, the list of things she had to do was easier than a Sorority House scavenger hunt. I would have gone through her list just to get the AC fixed on my 2008 Mercury Sable.

Perhaps the point of the story is that a former drug addict can never redeem themselves, or a bad parent will always be unfit. Even if that is the case, her selfishness just overcomes everything else in the film and you'll focus on that alone. That ruined the entire movie for me... and oh yeah, the audio levels are way off balance. Positives? The main guy helping her was a really good actor, the special effects were spot on, and the jarring score was effective.

Don't you hate reviews on here where they write their own movie synopsis? The site already has that at the top of the page, guy.

This movie is absolutely bonkers and really fun. I tried to figure out why I enjoyed it so much and came to the conclusion that it's sensationalized realism. Much like a reality TV show or wrestling, you know what happens is ridiculously fake but it toes the line of reality just enough for your brain to talk you into it being acceptable. While many decisions are WAY over the top, the overall progression to the insane places the plot takes you is mostly earned through clever storytelling.

Unfortunately, what I'd deem to be the most pivotal choice is the hardest pill to swallow. It very nearly took me out of the movie, but the acting is SO good in this. And not even just the main guy is remarkable, all the side characters do a phenomenal job in selling their roles as well.

I would put effort into telling you this is well worth watching but if you're reading this you've likely already seen the movie... who really reads these reviews about random films to decide if they want to watch them? Nobody. So I will add a spoiler part in case the same thing that bothered you also bothered me and then you can feel validated and sleep easy tonight.

*SPOILERS*

The idea that some average schlub punching someone in the face a couple times is "almost killing him" is laughable (I legit started laughing hard when they said that). That rationale for not calling the cops just did not work, even more so with them living in a state that is famous for not prosecuting criminals. I wish that had been fleshed out better.

Instead of the reporter saying "the sheriff doesn't like vigilante justice because of lower conviction rates", I think "the sheriff said you've been getting multiple death threats because of the people you've put behind bars" would have worked better. Then, the rationale for not calling the cops could have been "I can't risk even one day in jail! There's people in there that want me dead!" which his friends can sympathize with to explain their going along.

But that final scene with the lady teacher explains so much about him and why he does what he does (assuming I am interpreting it accurately) and just brilliantly wraps it all in a bow in the span of just 10 seconds. It's a strong, strong finish to an already powerful script.

Plot: Three gals who would likely never be friends take a road trip to... the woods? Here, they are stalked by a masked killer looking for internet clout.

Cast: Heather is a "fake on the outside" girl who is obsessed with social media. Riley is a "sad on the inside" girl who always sides with Big Tech, Big Government, and the Mainstream Media (basically the opposite of punk rock). Sam is a "down to Earth" girl with a recently troubled past. The supporting cast consists of a bumbling moron who works as a park ranger, a highly accurate and efficient killer EXCEPT when it comes time to kill a lead and he turns into a bumbling moron, and another bumbling moron who works as a park ranger.

Visuals: I enjoyed the camera work in this film. The cuts were spliced together nicely and there were some really cool shots, like one into a tent.

Audio: The underlying music made this nearly unwatchable. While it is intentionally jarring, that doesn't change the fact that it's... well, jarring. If you purposefully cook a bad burger then people are going to say it's a bad burger, right?

Performances: The acting was pretty good and much better than I expected it to be. I assume the goal of the writer was to make you hate Heather and Riley and they do a dayumed fine job of portraying that. Fortunately, Sam is a very likeable character and she ends up becoming the primary protagonist by the end.

Overall: I feel this movie would have actually been good if The Wolf had been more effective. There are no stakes once you see the killer would rather give 10 minute speeches like an 80s spy villain to the leads than, ya know, be a killer. When all of the lead characters survive by the end of a Horror film, you kind of know the movie has failed its audience.

This movie is like bad whoopi. The build up to the end isn't super enjoyable but I mean hey, at least you get to finish.

The plot is fine and there are some well done, violent scenes. The acting from the 3 leads is solid (some small role actors weren't good, however). And yeah, you don't really need nudity in movies anymore cause of the internet but I was really expecting it at some point here lol

Now for the real reason you're reading this... that ending. While I respect the fact the writers made something out of the ordinary, the actual setup doesn't make sense.

I am okay with the weirdness of female actors in their late twenties portraying high school girls, but were they actually high school aged characters?? Because one of them slept with a guy in high school lol (not that any guy would mind).

I am okay with their ability to fool an insurance agency who does EXTENSIVE research on a case such as this which would involve major payouts as they would have his SSN.

I am okay with the frumpy male actor somehow being God's gift to women and conveniently able to sleep with the realtor in order to obtain the footage.

I am okay with the blonde not being arrested which would obviously happen. There are a total of zero cases in which attempted double homicide has been ignored cause "Ghosts, your honor. Naw Mean?"

I am NOT okay with the writers cheating, however. The "family" would be acting normal when they are alone with each other. Con artists aren't method actors that keep up the facade whilst alone with each other at home, let alone have 10 minute fake conversations as if someone was watching. That's just ridiculous. The guy would not be telling the blonde "you're just sleepwalking" to point to one example.

But overall, I was glad I watched it and speaking frankly, they conned me as well into believing it was actually a horror flick. That hasn't been done since Cabin in the Woods. Kudos!

(I rate movies based on expectations. You can't put Sharknado on the same scale as Jaws.)