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Reviews
I Told You Not to Call the Police (2010)
I'm shocked by this one...
I had to review it high, but I have no idea who to recommend it to. I'm shocked by this movie. It's actually... Artistic... And yet utterly horrific. It's mostly first person, handheld, of him pointing at women. And they react as if he's threatening to murder them. It's like something you'd find in a courtroom. I don't even know what to say. There's almost no sound accept classical music and a few VOs. It's so odd that I'm only talking about it because I feel like I need to tell somebody... I'm kinda scared. If I didn't personally know one of the actresses in it, I'd think she was dead.
The premise: Women are sexually assaulted in first person, mostly, then filmed showering off the horror of it... Plus you see Bill's creepy hands caressing the women. (Exhibit B, Your Honor?)
If you're looking for a Bill Zebub movie like Dickshark or Night of the Pumpkin, this is not it.
But! If you're looking for something that feels like the B Role of a Lars Van Trier film like The House That Jack Built and if you think that Bill could just be a neurodivergent genius- here you go.
The Princess (2022)
Damn You For Burying this Film, Disney
In a sea of terrible Mary Sue nonsense, one film actually went out to change and improve the genre, proving once again that King is a true movie star who can carry any genre.
It made me wonder where we would be if Joey King would have been first offered the lightsaber. Would we still be in this mess if we had someone with her passion, acting range, dedication, charisma and no politics at the helm? The Force Is Female would stop sounding like the world's sickest, stupidest joke. Oh well... Anyways...
Locking up this film and putting it in the same class as the abysmal Willow remake is a shame. Joey King did 90% of the stunts and brought 100% of her talent and love to the story. You can see that she's having fun, truly cares, and is making sure that we are having fun too!
I will really miss this film. Here was a simple, organic, beautiful story of a reluctant Disney Princess who was actually worth rooting for.
Slutty the Clown (2021)
Beyond Your Expectations
Claire "Slutty the Clown" Bacon is a horror icon in the making! Easily stands up there with Harley Quinn and Christine Greaston! She may have even created something entirely unique: the child-like-innocent-serial killer.
Matroshka: Dolls of Doom (2009)
Baba Alla will haunt you forever!
You will need to go to Troma Now to find this gem, but it is worth it! This is Russian Horror/Comedy at its very best. Characters that are strangely likable while also repulsive... You won't know who to root for! Enjoy!!!