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jlbellows
Reviews
A Wounded Fawn (2022)
Somehow both presumptuous and pretentious at the same time...
Caught it on shudder tv and gave it a chance. Seemed good up until 20 minutes or so in. It very quickly lost itself. It is far too artful for its own good. Everytime I think it's going to stray into movie territory it revels in being a bad music video. Not worth the amount of time I spent watching it despite every scene being well made. Built up on metaphor and allegory without any substance. I gave it a chance and sat through til the end and despite normally enjoying more artful pieces of media... I did not enjoy any of this. I only found a bunch of interesting images at least? Watch a Radiohead music video and save yourself an hour and 15 minutes.
Malignant (2021)
The Dark(ish) Half
Like somebody remade George Romero/Stephen Kings' the Dark Half as an action movie. If you've seen and know the plot to that then the whole movie is ruined very early on. Some interesting scenes and ideas. Clearly a lot of nods to 80s splatter-gore -Basket Case and Brain Damage especially. If the whole crawling backwards thing freaks you out in movies you may like it. If you love over the top gore you may like it. If you really like bad cgi you may like it. I personally found that it was not worth the sum of its parts. I would show specific scenes to someone I suppose. In an age of endless media and so little time I would not waste it on this.
Space Truckers (1996)
Guardians of the Shipping Container
Utterly ridiculous, stupid, filthy not so subtle fun. Suffers from the pg-13 rating and the seems like the blueprints of a much raunchier and yet better version. Missed opportunities line the script at every corner and the effects are fairly terrible. Acting is mostly subpar as well.
Having said all of that I absolutely loved it. I may be biased being that find Stuart Gordon movies to be a guilty pleasure. I still feel that for the right know kind of fan this holds considerable merit. Don't expect too much and treat it like a James Gunn college film and you will most likely appreciate what makes it such a cult hit.
Wish it was made ten years later it might have been a hit. Deserves a directors cut.
The Neptune Factor (1973)
More interested in the tools needed for the adventure than the adventure itself
Not as terrible as everyone is saying in my eyes. I was interested enough to continue watching just because of all the equipment they use in it is time accurate. The tension is all determined by small scientific problems and therefore comes off as anti-climactic. When the audience doesn't know the science behind the peril you have to explain it in a better and more time-pressing manner. They did not succeed in this. Long and dragged out is definitely how this feels but as I would sit through even a documentary on this subject matter I found myself intrigued the whole time. If you like Ernest borgnine and miss the days of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and the like then this one really isn't all that bad. However if you're easily bored... Give it a pass.
Cellar Dweller (1987)
Cool artwork I suppose...
I am definitely a fan of cheesy horror movies with the creature gorefests of the 80s being a particular guilty pleasure. I have always loved practical effects and find that a bad movie with interesting effects is well worth watching. Figured I would leave this on one day as I saw Jefferey Combs at the start and don Mancini on the credits. After Combs dies about 3 minute or so into the movie I stopped enjoying it. I feel like they use comic book art as just a budgetary device (since there really wasn't much of one.) Every time they could have used effects to illustrate what happens they simply jump to LITERALLY illustrating it instead with single shots of a piece of paper... Even the giant ghoulie werewolf loses its luster when you realize it just kinda stands there waving it's arms. Tried so hard to enjoy this one and I can't believe I even finished it. Don't bother wasting your to me and throw a stuart Gordon movie on instead.