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Reviews
The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972)
The Rats Are coming! The Filmmaker is trying too hard!
...and the toilet is overflowing!
Oh! Lord! This film is crap!
There is, however a way to make this film enjoyable:
Turn off the sound and read a book,
That bad...
Queen of Blood (1966)
You don't watch this movie...You step in it!
After seeing this, I had the sudden urge to check the bottom of my shoes.
Visually appealing, but the story is very anti-climactic...
Or the budget just ran out?
Death Shot (1973)
They tried... *sigh*
It just tries too hard.
I think most of the budget went toward aerial shots and bright red food coloring for the blood.
This is 93 minutes (estimated) that you will not get back.
This movie would have been taken more seriously if it were a comedy.
Gorugo 13 (1983)
Manga meets Poliziotteschi
I first saw this film in the early 90s. The mood and pacing reminded me a lot of the 70s Italian crime shoot 'em ups, but added a touch of Japanese manga. It goes together like peanut butter and jelly. Or, in this case, pasta and teriyaki sauce; it's actually pretty good!
Luca il contrabbandiere (1980)
Blue boats. White knuckles. Red blood.
Ultra violence that shows no mercy.
If this film were a living being and you told it to "don't go there"... It. Will. Go. There.
One of the most violent and disturbing films I had ever seen! There are slasher horror films that aren't this violent!
I found the horse stable scene to be the most disturbing especially the cries of the horse as the flames get bigger!
You really want those responsible for setting the blaze to get their comeuppance with interest...which happens in the end and is very satisfying.
Must see!
Enter the Ninja (1981)
NEENJAH!
I first saw this film when I was 10 years old when it came out.
Even then, I found it unintentionally funny and craptastic.
I think it ended up on Showtime a year later; A sign of an epic stink bomb.
Back then, it took about 2 years (maybe less) after theatrical release for a film to be shown on TV.
That. Bad.
Nightmare (1981)
Brutal!
One of the most violent films I had ever scene.
Gets VERY LOUD at times.
Grotesque (1988)
Surprisingly brilliant!
It starts out as a mediocre and cliched crime thriller...Then it turns into a monster story...Then a revenge story...Then...
You have to watch to the very end!
It's one of those rare multi-genre films that actually has a concept that works.
Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984)
Midnight movie faire
The first time I saw this film was either USA Up All Night or Commander USA's Groovie Movies...can't remember. It was over 30 years ago.
But, what I do remember is that it was on the USA network back in the day.
If I ran a revival/arthouse theater, this would be one of many films that I would present for weekend midnight movies including Attack of The Killer Tomatoes, Schlock, Pandemonium, Student Bodies and many others.
Sadly, as of this writing, the only way to see this film here in the states is to buy a.region 2 DVD player* (that can be pretty pricey) and buy the DVD on Amazon or eBay or carefully surf the web for streaming.
(NOTE: I do not condone piracy! Also, I cannot and will not be responsible for malware that is downloaded from unscrupulous sites/torrents!)
There may also be 35mm prints out there as well if you know where to find the prints and if you have a projector.
*If you do get a region 2 DVD player, you might want to buy a power converter. Otherwise the player will explode before you see the monks explode!
Otherwise, it is a fun, messy and very British film.
The Spirit Is Willing (1967)
Unfunny
You can say that this was an anti-13 Ghosts (minus 10) with some trying-too-hard slapstick thrown in.
This was a big departure for William Castle who normally produced straight shock horror...
And not his best film.
He should have stuck with straight horror.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
Space Scam: The 2 hour Warner infomercial/LeBron ego trip
I turned it off after 20 minutes!
(surprised myself I stuck around THAT long)
I am glad I caught this on HBO Max, otherwise I would have asked the theater manager for a refund!
To get the bad taste out of my mouth, I am now canceling HBO...again and HBO Max...again!!