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Reviews
Dark Places, Deadly Illusions (2021)
Dreadful
This starts out okay, a fairly formulaic erotic thriller but entertaining nevertheless, but quickly descends into something ludicrously ridiculous.
Once the 'twist' has been revealed, the acting goes downhill fast, Grammer's especially was over the top and not very believable. There is no explanation for why her character targeted this particular family. The back story was weak and seriously underdeveloped. Not to mention the very final scene, which made absolutely no sense.
All in all, a decent start ans a very lazy ending. Dreadful.
What Keeps You Alive (2018)
Doesn't live up to its potential
This had the potential of being something enjoyable, however, it's just too implausible. Jules surviving the fall is the first one, however I can suspend my disbelief for the sake of the film.
What really gets me is that these characters are making decisions that I can't realistically see any real person making.
For example, Jules tells the neighbour lady that her wife is a psycho killer, and the neighbour's husband gets his throat slashed. Why you would announce to a psycho killer that you know she's a psycho killer i don't know, but why don't the two women team up to take Jackie down? Jules, albeit injured, just sits there as the neighbour lady is butchered, a victim who barely fights back, I might add. Why doesn't she try to kick her down the stairs?
After much ado, Jules manages to get away. But even here her behaviour is weird. She stabs Jackie with a tranquilliser dart, but doesn't push her out the car and take off. Instead, a hunt in the woods ensues.
Once she FINALLY leaves the premises, instead of doing what a rational human being would do, which is seek help, she drives back to finish the psycho killer off. Naturally, she ends up getting murdered. All for the purpose of making some video telling Jackie she's been spiking her insulin to cause her blood clots. What if Jackie never watched the video? So pointless. And of course, as soon as Jackie hears about this, her descent begins and she dies from a blood clot mere minutes later.
Ridiculous.
Britney vs Spears (2021)
Decent but doesn't add many new bits
This was a decent effort, however apart from some of the interviews (Adnan Ghalib especially) this didn't really add anything new; most of the info in this documentary was already revealed IN Framing Britney Spears.
I guess it's a decent watch to round out what you already know, but nothing groundbreaking.
The Many Saints of Newark (2021)
Underwhelming, but the acting is fantastic
Jon Bernthal said this film isn't like the Sopranos, and I can see what he means. I walked in thinking this would focus on Tony Sopranos' route to becoming who he is when we meet him in the first episode of the Sopranos, but instead, it focuses on Christopher's dad, Dickie Moltisanti.
The acting is superb, but the plot is thin. Dickie is not a particularly interesting character. In fact, I think focusing on Johnny Soprano would've made for a way more gripping film. What we end up with is something half-baked, more of a mini series than a stand-alone film. I have to admit, when the credits started coming up, I was thinking, "Is this it?"
For a Sopranos fan, it's worth a watch, but ultimately, it was underwhelming.
Can You Keep a Secret? (2019)
Worth it for Hoechlin & the dog
The film was okay; getting to look at Tyler Hoechlin for an hour and a half was definitely the best part. However, I'm finding the premise a bit too far-fetched even for a romcom. Why would a high flying, model gorgeous rich CEO want the girl next door? It's just not very realistic. And let's not forget that he is his boss. His actions are a lawsuit away from being sexual harassment. That made it kinda icky to me.
Also, Toots the dog should've had more screen time.
Free Guy (2021)
Try-hard, flat, non-compelling
I'm genuinely baffled by the high scores this film has.
Someone in our screening walked out about 20 minutes into the film - and honestly, I can't say I blame them. The story and characters were all equally flat and non-compelling. I didn't care about any of them, or their motivations. Taika Waititi's character was a caricature and his overacting was painful to watch. Granted, he didn't seem to have too much to work sith; all his lines were cringy. The writers were clearly trying to make him funny and it ended up coming across way too try-hard.
The only good thing about this film was using a Mariah Carey song (arguably the best one to boot) as the main musical feature. It's only due to this redeeming quality that this garbage film gets a 1.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Braindead zombie film
This was a steaming pile of horse dung. I love zombie movies, and I am (obviously) willing to suspend my disbelief a bit to facilitate that. But I need some realism from the human characters' behaviour and this did not deliver one bit.
Somehow (its not explained how), the zombies are now sentient beings capable of complex feelings such as love and grief. I found this concept quite interesting, and would've liked to have seen this explored more. Alas, it was not to be. Instead, this film has created some zombie King and his bride, who are capable of pretty complex thought and riding horses (!). Zombie animals are a thing now, yet we see no zombie dogs or cats despite there for sure being tons of stray dogs and cats in Vegas.
On the other side of the spectrum, the daughter is an idiot seemingly incapable of complex thought. She puts the whole team in jeopardy to save a woman who's completely irrelevant for 98% f the movie.
Not to mention, these characters escape Las Vegas as a nuclear bomb goes off yet they survive the bomb and instead die of a shot to the head & a plane crash? The daughter is A OK, no need to consider radiation, I guess?
There are so many things wrong about this film. Not one character had any dimension, and their decisions were all idiotic and not believable for one sec.
If you like watching awful movies for the sake of them being awful then this is the film for you.