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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
8 June 2002
This movie scared me so horribly when I was younger, that I refused to ever watch it again. Well, my friend talked me into doing so last night (she has been bugging me for years). And I can see why it scared me; the dubbing is pathetic, the little children dwarfs are horrifying, that prince wears a great big yellow blob on his head that's supposed to look like blonde hair, all of the characters are painfully stupid...okay, to be fair, the sets ARE quite lovely. But my friend and I just burst out laughing so many times over how ridiculous everything was! Yes, it was made in 1955, and so I can forgive the guy dressed in the bear suit who wanders out behind a tree to scare Snow White, as well as the giant fake spider web behind the queen while she is mixing potions, and the snow that looks like shredded toilet paper. But some of the dialogue in the script! I have never read the original Brothers Grimm story, but please don't tell me that Snow White cried, "Oh, can I cook and clean for you?!" after the dwarves begged her to stay. And how stupid IS Snow White? Three times the dwarves come marching home, singing their annoying, creepy songs, to find her keeled over. And the third time, they think she is dead, so they stick her in a glass coffin, in which she remains in perfect condition, until what seems to be a WHOLE YEAR LATER (what took them so long? HMM!) the prince and the hunter come alone, the prince wants to take Snow Whites body home so he can oggle it, the coffin falls down, and she WAKES UP! WOW! Aside from all this, the material is painfully stretched, with scenes with that obnoxious music blaring on in the background as various characters pace, do chores, stare off in space, eat, sleep, and march, scenes comtaning no meaningful context whatsoever. I loved the part when the dwarves "carried" Snow White inside, shouting, "Watch her head!" "This way!" "Okay, easy now" while the camera focused on another dwarf gathering water, so we couldn't SEE them doing all that hard work (since, um, they weren't). Another scene that should have been cut entirely! Oh well, I'm being reaaaal snotty. I want to see the German version but also am afraid to, for...well, you know.

AND WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT HOST?! AHHHHH! Scary!
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Shipmates (2001–2003)
Hehe
24 April 2002
I like watching this show, as I am getting ready for school at 7:30 in the morning. Yes, it's stupid how whenever a couple doesn't get along, one or both of them is sent to that cheesy club, and is grinding on the dance floor with the first person they meet, someone they describe as "Great!!!!!11!!!" though they are actually just some loser, disgusting beast of a person who wants five seconds of fame. Oh, and also that many pent house models show up on this show, and are often paired up with funny looking men. And that the women always dress slutty (well, duh). And they are all the sort of (boring, yucky) people who would be between the 8-10 average's at hotornot.com. But it is entertaining fluff on half awake senses. And some of the little commentary is quite tactful, and I LIKE Chris Hardwick. Hahahaha. Byeeee!
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NOOOOO!
4 April 2002
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILERS*

Oh. How could they DO this to Quasi? HOW?! I had to watch this movie in chunks, I was so horrified. Bad stuff;

  • Madeline running away like a bat out of hell when she saw Quasimodo's face for the first time and him immediately singing a song about her afterward (UGH).


  • Phoebus and Esmerelda in general. "I LOVE ESMERELDA!" "AND I LOVE PHOEBUS!"


  • Phoebus and Esmerelda having a kid, who's only real part in the movie is to make Quasimodo look even more kind and precious, as well as a set up for a kidnapping.


  • The image of Esmerelda and Phoebus in bed together. NOOO!


  • And was I surprised by the silly ending of Quasi and Madeline doing the same thing?


  • And more with that ending...Madeline kisses him, but because he is 'ugly,' they don't show the whole thing like they do with the first kisses of other Disney couples (see Aladdin, Tarzan, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast...come on, the list goes on)


  • That villain was dumb. He wanted to steal the bell. BOO. HOO. And did anyone else think it was hilarious when he called Madeline his 'little cabbage'? Hahaha.


  • Of course the animation was that of a sloppy afternoon cartoon. I know, I couldn't do it so good, but after a masterpiece like the first movie, us fans expect a little more effort.


  • Oh, but then I am forgetting the most tragic thing of all...this movie was made only to get MONEY! Precious MONEY!


So, what next? "Bambi 2;"; Bambi is invited to Oprah, where it is revealed that her mother is actually still alive! And, "Snow White 2; The Wedding Night"! Horrifying.
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"Dreams To Dreams"
16 September 2001
I agree with the person who raved about that song. When I was 6 years old, I got "Fievel Goes West" and that part was my favorite. I would watch it over and over again, sing it around the house, and record it. I still love it to this day, and am happy to learn that James Horner composed it. I loved the whole soundtrack to the movie -- I would record the music that played during the credits and listen to it, and even at such a young age, it would make me cry. I keep finding myself falling in love with everything I hear of James Horners, from the soundtrack to "Casper" to "Braveheart" to "Titanic." He is fabulous! But anyway, about the movie...I think it is cute. My favorite character has always been Tiger, whom I even named my cat after. No one else got a say in it! This movie will always remain a classic to me, since it played such a huge part of my early childhood.
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5/10
Sad....
15 September 2001
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILERS!* I tried so hard to like this movie when I watched it this afternoon. I thought it was horrible the first time I watched it, and have been scared to try again since. The whole movie is a carbon copy of the first. Being as I memorized The Lion King when I was little, there were many MANY lines ripped off from it. The writers are so unoriginal, they couldn't even manage to come up with much new material. And too bad they also neglected the characters we originally fell in love with, shunning Nala and Zazu to a few lines (though the new voice of Zazu made me cringe, anyway) along with turning Simba into an overbearing, neurotic mess of a father. The relationship between Kovu and Kiara is cute, but not much else. They both have a certain 'code' for remembering each other in the future ("What are you doing?") just like Simba and Nala had (she would pin him to the ground.) They had an extremely silly 'romantic' rendezvous with annoying music, just like Simba and Nala had "Can't You Feel The Love Tonight." Of course, much more is ripped off, too, like the 'big fight' at the end, a stampede (sad, sad, SAD), Kiara stumbling into trouble with Kovu, Simba finding her and getting mad, talking to her under the stars the SAME WAY with some of the SAME DIALOGUE as the first movie! And, of course, there is a gross bug eating scene from Timon and Pumbaa, with Kiara even sneering and leering, "Ewww GROSS!" much in the same way as Jonathan Taylor Thomas did, and cheesy knock off of the beginning 'presentation of Simba' sequence. There is more. A lot more. It makes me want to cry. Disney's greed inspires such thrown together messes as this, knowing suckers like us will want to see a continuation of our favorite classics, only to have our jaws drop in horror. I'm very scared to see what they do to my other all time favorite, "Hunchback of Notre Dame" in it's straight to video, and straight to their pockets sequel!
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Foxfire (1996)
Too much, and not enough...
4 August 2001
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILER WARNING! SORTA...* I rented this movie because, like others, I love Angelina Jolie. She is a fabulous, beautiful actress, and is naturally impressive in "Foxfire" too. But this is one of those plots that requires all adults to be morons, all men to be horrible, all the cheerleaders to actually prance around school in thier outfits ALL THE TIME, and all characters to be stereotypes that go down the most ridiculous paths possible. And the worst part is that this movie is a patchy mimick of 1980's "Foxes" that starred Jodie Foster. It also had the wise ringleader, the awkward virgin, the tuff troubled teen with the abusive father, the flirtatious slut...and it did a much better job of bringing the mixed nuts of characters together in a believable way. There is even a scene in "Foxfire" where the awkward virgin exclaims, "We're like those girls from that movie "Foxes"!" No, hun. You're carboncopies of them. But I will admit that the relationship between 'Legs' and Maddy is touching during the moments where it is allowed to develop.
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