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MBlenks91
Reviews
The Jack in the Box (2019)
Where were everyone's belongings?
The main guy turned up for a job interview with no jacket or paperwork.
The woman asking where the war exhibit was had no bag, coat or pockets.
Why did the museum have no alarm system, security guard, or old people perusing the cabinets with their hands behind their backs clutching an information pamphlet?
Also, who goes out for dinner and orders pancakes?
The Jack in the Box was creepy.
I was a bit concerned about the police officer turning up to investigate the disappearances by himself and showing no ID.
I also think the Jack in the Box would have been taken away for evidence.
It wasn't a bad film for the budget you could tell it had. There were some glaring inaccuracies that made it distracting. I think setting the film in a big museum but not having the budget to fill it with extras was a bad idea.
I have a lot of questions.
Gran Torino (2008)
I mistook this film for an action packed car film
I didn't read the synopsis for this film and thought it was about a man and his love for his car. Which I suppose is kind of true but I still wanted more car scenes.
I didn't like it when he was punching the cereal cabinet and upset the dog.
I also needed to turn my volume up really loudly as everyone was very quiet in this film. Unfortunately subtitles were not available
Irresistible (2006)
Owl be Blunt
I would recommend if you want to see some owls. If you do not like owls then I recommend you do not watch this film.
Bizarrely edited. The jump to the courtroom was the strangest for me (with no solicitors or witnesses present). Actually I tell a lie, it was the sudden jumps to close ups of owls. Although, now that I think of it maybe it was the rapid skip to a scene of Emily Blunt and Sam Neill playing owl poker.
Good cast. Strange film.
The Wedding Planner (2001)
Jennifer Lopez Stars Opposite an Old Matthew McConaughey
Jennifer Lopez stars in this film opposite Matthew McConaughey who, by the looks of it, used a time machine to transport his 72 year old self to 2001 to star in this movie.
For a film about a wedding planner, the script was very poorly planned. It's quite boring but Jennifer Lopez.
Clown (2014)
An uplifting film about a strong, independent clown suit that won't let anything get in its way!
An interesting film about a man slowly turning into John C. Reilly.
Why when the man was in A&E for his clown nose did he not think to ask the doctor to try and remove his outfit? He would've become a medical marvel.
There was an awful lot of children approaching adults. Like the small boy rapping at the door with a bag of lucky charms.
I enjoyed it.
Our House (2018)
My favourite actor was the floating toolbox
The floating tool box coming up the stairs stole the show. I am not surprised that it won the award for best supporting tool box and has voted number 1 sexiest tool box of 2014.
Honeymoon (2014)
Trigger Warning: Extreme scenes of post-marital sex
Too much post-marital sex for my liking. Also, any couple that races each other to a restaurant deserves anything bad that comes their way. I liked the pancakes and the plate of Indian food.
Military Wives (2019)
Oh whatever shall us women do whilst our men are away?
We have no hobbies and interests of our own!
We must find something to do whilst we wait for our boys to come home!
Urgh.
Giving 4 stars for Kristin Scott Thomas.
La tortue rouge (2016)
Perfect film to cure Sunday hangover anxiety
A film that will remedy Sunday hangover anxiety, existential crisis and an increasing sense of impending doom.
Mata Batin (2017)
A Question to Ponder on
Weaving through the many narratives through this film, I was left with one important question:
How did that man get through customs without realising he was dead.
1. He would have had to print out his boarding pass. Dead hands can't print.
2. How did he not notice everyone was ignoring him when he tried to purchase his prawn mayonnaise sandwich at the airport?
3. And when the staff asked for his passport.
4. When he was on the plane, how did he manage to secure a seat. Most planes are full brim. Surely someone would have through him?
5. The trolley would have surely passed, an his request for a prawn mayonnaise sandwich would have fallen on deaf ears.
Possibly the most implausible part of the film.
The Tourist (2010)
The Most Unbelievable Train Journey Ever
I find it hard to believe that a minute could pass without the sound of a prawn mayonnaise meal deal seal being opened.
But that's not all I have to say,
The performance was so wooden that even a fine mahogany bedside table woodn't pine for this chestnut loom.
What a pity.
Safe to say, if I need to commit a crime it shan't be in Venice.
It was nice to enjoy Johnny Depp before his abuse allegations, despite him having the charisma of an unused birch pew.
Top tip: This film could've ran for 5 minutes or 5 hours but the story would not have progressed any further.