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The First Omen (2024)
These 10 star reviews can't be real....
This is a dumb horror movie for very dumb people. Damien's mother was a jackal, right? Remember that fantastic reveal scene in the cemetery in the original? Don't be dumb, she was a human impregnated by Satan according to this dumpster fire of a film. Rosemary's Baby this isn't. If you're going to make an awful prequel to a classic horror movie perhaps know the source material. Or if you're going to butcher the story of a classic horror movie at least make it interesting with decent gore and payoff. First Omen is a slog of boredom, lame jump scares and characters, and plot "twists" (I use that term very loosely) you see coming a mile away. Trash on every level.
X (2022)
What a boring mess.
'The House of the Devil' is one of my favorite horror movies in the last couple decades, but since then Ti West has made continuously awful movies. I really wanted to like this but the premise is pretty lame, and once the motive is revealed about the antagonists, I seriously thought I was getting trolled. I almost walked out of the theater a couple times but hoped the ending would pay off or introduce an interesting twist. Nothing.
I can't wrap my head around this high ratings and reviews.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Insanely Boring
The first episode gave me some Salem's Lot vibes, which is one of my favorite vampire stories/tv movies, so I was excited to see how this series played out. Unfortunately, it quickly delves into boring monologue after monologue from characters who have no depth or charm with small spurts of horror and actual plot progression. I'm becoming convinced that while Flanagan might have some interesting ideas he is a terrible writer, the dialogue is embarrassingly shallow. Hard pass.
Gaia (2021)
GAIA: The Poor Man's Last of Us
I wanted to like this, I really did. It's not unwatchable but it is extremely underwhelming and unoriginal. They blatantly rip off the monsters from the video game Last of Us (they look and sound EXACTLY the same). And the characters are just so boring with no depth, I felt nothing for them, so I ultimately didn't care what happened to them. And I know this was a low budget film but the special effects were pretty awful.
Again, you could watch worse but why waste your time on mediocre?
Army of the Dead (2021)
Just watch Synder's Dawn of the Dead
I have absolutely nothing positive to say about Army of the Dead. It's awful, just awful. Way too many characters and Synder still manages to make us not care about a single one. You'll actually forget that some of them even exits. The premise of a heist should suggest action and a time crunch, but yeah, that's not a thing in this dumpster fire. Characters just walk around and have boring, pointless conversations, and even have time to watch television. Are you bored yet?
Oh, and the zombies hold human hostages apparently? Yes, it's as stupid as it sounds.
The Zombie Apocalypse (2013)
No redeeming qualities
Absolutely awful. Terrible acting, writing, cinematography, editing. Avoid this garbage at all costs.
Spriggan (2019)
Terrible Production
I don't know, maybe 'Spriggan' has a fantastic and engaging story but good luck enduring the insanely poor sound and cinematography. It's really bad, like high school production bad. I couldn't take more than 20 mins of this. Awful.
The Unwelcoming House (2019)
Complete Garbage
Don't believe anything rated higher than 1 star for this tripe. The story is boring, the acting is cringe worthy, and everything screams of a Paranormal Activity rip-off in the worst possible way. There are no redeeming qualities for this movie. Do yourself a favor and stay as far away as possible.
Us (2019)
Incredibly Underwhelming
With all the scathing reviews, I feel like I watched something an entirely different movie. I've seen low budget student films with better story, characters, and suspense. Boring plot, boring characters, boring gore/action, and a truly stupid twist. Just awful. Peele did a great job with Get Out, but after this mess, maybe it was a fluke. Hard pass here.
Charlotte's Song (2015)
Boring Mermaid Film
Low budget doesn't have to equate to a film being garbage, but alas, Mermaid's Song is complete garbage. Awful cinematography, acting, writing, and audio mixing. The version I watched you could barely hear what any of the characters was saying because the background music, which is constantly going, is blaring. You may be a masochist if you can finish this tripe.
Interior (2014)
Stupid
A truly terrible movie. It's littered with jump scares paired with loud obnoxious noises and the awful acting and plot progression ruins anything positive this film could have been. For instance, so the viewer can get some more information about the haunting, the house owner calls the investigator (at around 2am, because normally people stay up all night) and even her small daughter is heard in the background talking. Doesn't anyone sleep in this film? It defies all common sense. I understand and appreciate that this is a low budget film but the haunted house is boring and bland in appearance. Honestly, the whole thing felt like a college term project that was rushed in order to meet a deadline. Pass on this garbage.
Cargo (2017)
Missed Potential
An interesting premise and setting for a zombie/horror film but ultimately it is unsatisfying and missing any depth. The characters were too shallow, the relationships and conflicts awkwardly forced to the point where I lost all interest and was actually rolling my eyes. It's not unwatchable but so much missed potential and it will disappear into the forgettable genre of zombie flicks.
Ellen's Game of Games (2017)
Is this some kind of awful joke?
After less than 15 minutes of this show it was obvious that that this game show's "contestants" are clearly actors. Who is this show pandering to? I'm guessing it's the general population who have the IQ of a rock. Enjoy.
Altar (2016)
Unwatchable
A true stinker. The found footage genre is a guilty pleasure of mine, and although I know that 90% of these films are going to be trash, I'll go out of my way to watch them when I can in hopes of discovering one of the gems.
This is not one of them. The opening sequence is painful to watch. A newlywed couple in a hotel and the husband for some stupid reason is wearing a head camera fresh out of the shower? (But if he wasn't we wouldn't see the generic crazy man at the room door warning them of the dangers in the woods.) It's pure laziness on film makers part.
The actors are embarrassing to watch as they try to portray emotion and pretend like they care about anything they are saying. I couldn't finish this drivel.
Don't believe the high ratings. They are clearly posted by people associated with the film in some way. Garbage.
Fear the Walking Dead (2015)
Daytime Soap Opera with zombies
After watching a season of this I have come to the conclusion that all this show really is is a soap opera sprinkled with zombies here and there. Characters that are dramatic about everything, who make stupid and out of characters decisions for the sake of prolong whatever "plot" is supposed to be present. The actors and special effects are fine but everything else is just awful. Not my cup of tea, at all.
Demon Dolls (1993)
Utter Garbage
You know when you find a review of a "movie" (I use the term very loosely) by one of the "actors" (another term I use loosely) you're in trouble. Stay far away from this. It reminds me of weekends that a couple of friends and I would get together with an old VHS recorder and make crap. It's fun but I would never punish someone else by making them watch it. Awful, awful, awful.
Hell Is Full (2010)
No, no, no, no, no.
Being a horror fan, I ran across this in 2017 and was surprised I had never heard of this movie, but now I know why I hadn't. It's awful. Just awful, almost unbearable. I'm sure everyone worked hard on this film but that doesn't make it good nor does it require that we all pat the filmmakers on the back. Terrible acting, writing, cinematography, audio, the whole she-bang.
Dead Sunrise (2017)
Poorly Made Zombie Flick
The premise sounded mildly interesting and I love horror, especially zombie movies, but this movie fails on too many levels. One, the characters are boring. I didn't think the actors were terrible, but the writing was. The sets and locations also awful. The children are supposed to be in some kind of research lab deep in the woods but it looks like a community college campus. Another thing that was distracting and baffling was the music. The first "zombie" attack, which should be scary and exciting, there is complete lack of music, so we're stuck with actors yelling and it's very underwhelming. Another scene there's classical music playing. Low budget doesn't always have to equate to garbage but Dead Sunrise is. Pass on this.
They Exist (2014)
Do NOT believe the other review for this crapfest.
Awful production value, horrendous acting, and a plot so boring and tacky that I found zero entertainment and value in this "film". Anyone that rates it higher than a star is associated with the production because no one in their right mind would recommend this garbage. Stay away, far away from this tripe.