lukebohn's Reviews

The Cat in the Hat (2003)

6/10

8 November 2023

After years and years of hearing how bad this movie was, I finally wartched it last night. I now understand why the crass humor offended the widow of Dr. Suess, and I know why most hated it. But, I don't. The crass humor and many "wtf is happening" moments made this a very fun watch.

The Bad: Like I said, this movie is not technically very good. The kids acting is not the best, and the story is slightly all over the place. Also, thing 1 and thing 2 are just downright creepy. I maybe laughed at 1 or 2 of their jokes, but they mainly just creeped me out.

The Good: I really liked this type of humor. It was so chaotic and crass that I couldn't help but laugh a lot. Most the time the movie knows its being stupid and immature, which only helps its cause. Mike Meyers just plays himself but as a giant cat, and its so funny to me. I understand this is not a good at all adaptation of the book, but I don't care. It was funny, and I enjoyed my time.

Conclusion: It was ruined when she bought it honey. Watch this intoxicated.

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Cyrano (2021)

3/10

Not Good

6 November 2023

Cyrano is a musical staring Peter Dinklage set in what looks like 17-18th century France. I personally like a lot of musicals, but this was just not it. Despite very interesting costumes and good lead performances, the story and music lack any substance.

The Good: Like I said, I really liked the costumes. When I first saw all the expressive makeup and outfits, it made me lean in a little bit. Peter Dinklage plays his sorrowful but confident poet very well. The movie also has some good shots, but this is really all I can compliment.

The Bad: The music is just not good. While Dinklage can act, he can not sing that well. This is why he stays within the same 5 notes the whole movie. Even when the other actors sing (who are good singers), the songs are just not good. I don't know if the songs are from the original play, but these versions sound too much like a bad version of Hamilton. Not to mention the background dancers are extremely goofy. The story is not all that entertaining because of many plot holes, and just unlikeable characters. Finally, I liked some shots like I said - but most of the musical sequences are shot like a 2014 music video. So many jump cuts and weird video effects.

Conclusion: It seems like some people really liked this, I did not. A friend showed me this because the first time he watched it, he really liked it. Upon second viewing he says it's way worse than he remembers. I asked why changed his opinion? He said that he drank a whole bottle of wine the first time - that explained everything. I would not recommend it.

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Goosebumps: Say Cheese and Die! (2023)

Season 1, Episode 1

3/10

Cringe

19 October 2023

As a kid I loved goosebumps, both the books and the 90's TV show. Both were scary for kids, but most the time goofy enough to only be slightly spooky for teens and adults. The stories ranged from bad to surprisingly good. I still watch the original Night of the Living Dummy episodes every Halloween. However, this is not Goosebumps. Like every modern retelling of an old franchise, its something entirely different but with the characters slapped on for marketing.

The Good: I thought at some moments the episode knew it was being corny, and that worked. Like the scene where the main character was juking out demons on the football field, that felt like a chillogy episode. However, this never lasts for too long. Also, Justin Long is cool.

The Bad: Its completely different, and doesn't even accomplish what its trying to do. The vibe goes to completely serious then to very corny. The characters are definitely what 40 year olds think kids act like. It focuses so much on the boring teen story that the actual story of "Say Cheese and Die" is a backdrop to its own episode. The music is also terrible, with just modern pop and rap songs sprinkled in for no genuine reason other than the titles of them are "Unholy" and "Goosebumps". Also its going for a PG-13 feel, so slightly more serious and edgy, but still only accomplishes to have a few cheap scares with mostly corny bad cgi demons. Just not good.

Conclusion and rant: This is just bad. I get they are trying to spice it up for the new age, but this is just slightly insulting to the property. No one if going to be watching this show out if nostalgia in 10 years, because its just not good at all. I would not recommend to anyone. Its not goosebumps, and what it's attempting to be is done way better in other shows and movies.

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The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

4/10

I'm not a believer

7 October 2023

Warning: Spoilers

In this movie - because it's not good at all. It's from the same writing team and director of the rebooted halloween trilogy (which for the most part of awful). However, I had high hopes because the trailer for this movie at least looked interesting. Especially with the black and white poster. However, I had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't turn out good when I saw the mom from the original was returning. I was right.

The Good: The first 40 minutes of the movie is pretty exciting. It has a solid set up, with us getting to know the main family pretty well. It's shot well, written well, and there were times I was pretty scared. The rest of the movie - not so much. I also really liked the two performances from the demonic girls. They did REALLY good, and their makeup was quite scary and disturbing. This movie scared me quite a few times, but it doesn't make up for the poor story, too many characters and goofy dialogue.

The Bad: Firstly, bringing back the original mother "Chris' ' did not work at ALL. She speaks in movie quotes, lacking any characterization whatsoever - looking like a modern hollywood silhouette of the character before. I wish I could spoil what happens with her character because it's so funny the way they sideline her for the rest of the movie. She is in it for about 10 minutes, then rarely ever seen again. There are also too many characters that the writers have no clue what to do with. There is the priest, the parents, the other priest, the woman who does special medicine, and the neighbor who knew the woman who does special medicine. Guess what, they are ALL in the last act which I bet you can guess - is an exorcism. That many people in a small space and the writers have no clue how they want to take the story. Not to mention the bad dialogue and acting from some of the supporting cast, especially the catholic priest. They just bring in a bunch of half baked concepts and never execute them. It also gets less scary along the way since it's mainly cheap jumpscares and loud screams - oh also some creepy faces.

Rant and Conclusion: Take away ANY horror franchises from David Gordon Green and his writing team. Mr. Green is pretty solid at directing, but they are just not good at writing anything substantial and moving. There is a monologue at the very end explaining all that we should learn from the movie and to come together. Wtf. The original movies message didn't have to be said in a montage monologue, it was in every second of the movie. This sucks because it had so much promise, but just couldn't pull it off. I would not recommend unless you want some cheap scares on a friday night.

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Saw X (2023)

7/10

A GOOD SAW MOVIE?

5 October 2023

Every saw movie I've seen has been a fun watch but nothing that good from a technical standpoint. So when I saw that the reviews for this movie were generally very good, I had to watch. Now that I have seen all the bloody goodness it has to offer, I can recommend this to ANY horror fan.

The plot is centered around John Kramer (Jigsaw) finding a new experimental cure-all for his cancer. I won't say anymore because the twists in this one are actually pretty fun and exciting. However, it's not just dumb-horror fun, it's actually good for a regular movie. It's paced pretty well, the acting is actually soli, and you end up invested in the actual story. Think about that. You end up invested in the story of a SAW movie. Rare, I know.

Now, let's talk about the kills. They are very bloody and VERY messed up. My friend and I had multiple jaw-dropping moments and were gagging from some of the gorey traps. Don't be fooled if you are watching and about 30 minutes through there has been only one trap - trust me they come.

The only thing that takes it down a peg would be maybe some of the plot holes. I won't get into them because it's spoiler territory, but they are just common holes that your mind will probably skim over as soon as you think about it. I mean who cares, it's a saw movie. The other thing, I wish like 10-15 minutes was taken off. In the last act I felt a little impatient at times, wanting the story to close up. However, it does in a very exciting fashion.

I would rate this a 8/10 for horror movies and a very solid 7 for all movies. Just be warned, I told my girlfriend about one of the traps and she nearly threw up. So, watch with your own caution.

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The Creator (2023)

5/10

Not for Me

1 October 2023

"The Creator" is the newest film by the director of Rouge One staring John David Washington. It centers around a government operative doing a secret mission for the US government. While I think this movie has good effects, direction, and a solid foundation - I just didn't care.

I applaud the movie for being something pretty new in the Hollywood-streaming era we live in, but I just didn't care about most of the story or characters. Even if the scale is pretty big, there are fight scenes that look good, and you can tell the movie is in good hands from a director standpoint. I could never connect to our protagonist played by John David Washington, because he just isn't that interesting.

He needs to stop Asias new weapon and also save his wife, but the former of the missions is by far the most interesting. The new weapon (very minor spoiler) is a child who has strange powers. That, and the whole AI war storyline was actually pretty interesting. The other major storyline is about the man and him saving his wife, and I just didn't care at all. When that is at least a third of the runtime, then it shouldn't be so boring.

While I liked some of it, and applaud the new idea - it just didn't have enough for me to truly enjoy my experience. I WOULD reccomend it to people who love Sci-Fi movies, but would not reccomend if sci-fi isn't your thing. (Note: I like sci-fi but it's just not my favoirte genre)

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The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

3/10

Master Manipulator: Bella Swan

4 September 2023

Warning: Spoilers

This might be a little all over the place so bare with me. I just watched this movie for probably the 2nd or 3rd time, the previous watches being from long ago. I did not remember how bad this movie was at all. I think the first one is definitely goofy, but has a weird pacific north west charm that brings you in. However, this one loses all of that just to quickly cash in on the franchise. Worst of all, the horrible Bella Swan.

Lets talk about the blatant issue, the main character. She is so manipulative that I worry about what type of relationship mannerisms young people have picked up from her. She treats her friends, father, and jacob all horribly. Only using them for her benefit. She ditches her friend to go motorbike with a sketchy gang, she leaves her father with no care for his feelings, and constantly manipulates Jacob to keep him on her string in case she ever needs to use him.

This is half the bad writing and story plots, but half of the bad acting. I mean it's like they took a clone of Kristen Stewart, killed it, resurrected it Frankenstine style, and made it act in the movie. She maybe has a solid 2 emotions the entire movie, 90% of which is just deadpan brooding. The goal is to get us on her side and feel empathy for her situation, and to have Bella be completely torn from this love triangle and the way her life is. But it just comes off horribly frustrating for the viewer because we have to sit through a very unlikeable main character with zero emotional depth. I have seen Ms. Stewart in other movies, she can act pretty well. Even in the first one, it's a similar vibe but not nearly as phoned in.

Now let's talk about the direction...they shot it like a music video the entire time. The first had a completely different color palette, they used the foggy hills of Washington to create a eerie and vibrant atmosphere. However, New Moon does a complete 180 and invests in nothing that would create a original atmosphere. It's just disappointing.

The most disappointing however is the fact that they are at the same place at the end of the movie. Nothing of significance changes. Jacob is now a wolf, awesome. The Vampire mob is maybe a player, but those are almost irrelevant in this movie besides a handful of scenes. Bella is still with Edward, and wants to be a vampire. Also, I guess the Cullens just decided to move back to forks. They aren't worried about looking younger than they should be anymore, that plot point just went out the door.

There are a few okay things about this movie, but it's not even worth mentioning because it's so minimal. I wrote so much just because it's such a frustrating watch from a filmmaking and movie standpoint. Lots of people didn't like the first, but they at least tried their best. There was something there, but it's like no one gave a rip for this one. I can tell you right now, this one can be skipped.

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Goosebumps: Say Cheese and Die... Again (1998)

Season 3, Episode 18

3/10

Straight up bad

24 August 2023

Warning: Spoilers

Let me give you the plot. Greg (who isn't Ryan Gosling anymore) is doing a report on what happened to him. His teacher dosen't believe him so he decides to get the camera from the rubble of the first episode. First of all, how stupid is that. You try all of the first episode to get rid of it, then you get it for a report? Usually these episodes make a least a little bit of sense. Then guess what, Greg becomes morbidly obese because of the camera. It's completely absurd, and even the actors seem to know it because the acting is so bad. Honestly, just pure laziness and lack of interest from the actors. It's like they were forced by a friend to act for free. They are children of course, and were given the cheesiest dialogue on earth. The production value is obviously less than other episodes. It looks like crap, the story is bad, and the acting is bad. Far below the already below average standards for goosebumps episodes.

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Goosebumps: Night of the Living Dummy II (1996)

Season 1, Episode 10

8/10

Nightmare Fuel

22 August 2023

I am reviewing this as a 20 year old who used to watch this as a small child and still rewatches it till' this day. This is a great episode starring the all-time creepy "Slappy the Dummy". These episodes always got a little better treatment with regards to quality storytelling.

It is about this young girl who get's a new ventriloquest doll as a gift from her dad. However, this doll starts acting real strange as the days go by...he may even be alive.

This episode has the most straight forward story of all the Slappy episodes. It honestly is more of a strength than a weakness. Yes, we don't see a lot of any of the side characters, but it focuses more on the scares. It also has enough 90's goofiness that it's not so scary to the point where it's a bad thing. The acting isn't oscar-worthy, and the soundtrack is corny scary, and the pranks that Slappy does aren't life threatening.

Even though I was terrified when I was a kid of Slappy, the average kid would probably be creeped out by this episode but not to badly. I would reccomend for any parent trying to show them 90's nostalgia. I would also reccomend for anyone who hasn't seen it, Goosebumps is terrifying fun!

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Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

3/10

Pure Hatred

16 August 2023

If I was Dave, I would pop those annoying little rodents like buttons. They take over his house, constantly singing annoying songs, and basically making sure Dave dosen't succeed in any of his personal goals. I wish I could take their vocal cords and put em in a sealed vault so no one would have to listen to their constant jabbering which would eventually put me in a pre-psychotic mental state. Also, why is Ian even the villan? We would be doing worse than what he does. If you saw a talking chipmonk that dressed like Soulja Boy, would you not be a little frightened? And when it started singing, would you not be a little concerned? The nice thing to do would be steal their talent for money, THEY ARE CHIPMONKS! DOES NO ONE EVEN AWKNOWLEDGE THAT THESE CRITTERS CAN TALK. They all just laugh and dance and fall in love with the talking animals. The only animals where we wouldn't care if they talked would be dogs, birds, and maybe dolphins as long as they were nice. Movie is just unethical.

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Paint (II) (2023)

5/10

It has heart, but not much else

13 April 2023

When I first saw the trailer for this movie I thought it would be a Bob Ross semi-biographical movie. However, that is not the case. The only thing bob-ross related is the base charecter of Carl Nargle, and that he has a TV paint show. I accepted this and tried to enjoy the film, but in the end it it knows what it wants to be...but dosen't know how to get there.

First, the positives. It looks pretty good, with nice colors and wood tones but it is ruined sometimes with choppy editing. I did laugh a good amount of times, with all the actors commiting to the heartfelt funny tone. However, lots of the jokes didn't land as well due to poor comedic timing or just played out jokes. The base story is okay, but I have a lot of issues with it.

Like I said, it wants to be a heartfelt comedy about a painter who's golden days are dwindling due to issues in the past and present. They try to throw quirky side charecters in there, but they are really not fleshed out at all so they feel more like NPC's than charecters. The movie also dosen't really give enough time to the storylines that are the most important and dilly dally on other scenes that just feel odd. Why is everyone trying to have sex with Carl Nargle? And then, when the new painter comes in they all suddenly switch and despise him. They have some reason too, but that reason is really only explained once and never seen again. They just tried to mix every color to make a heartfelt painting, but ultimately it just feels confused. Also, the sound mixing is a little off.

In the end, I would not reccomend Paint. It's a movie, and you probably wouldn't be mad watching it, but you would definetly want your money back. It's neither here nor there, and that is what's so dissapointing. Have a great day.

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Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

4/10

Some good, some bad, and lots of goofy

18 February 2023

I respect you and have no problem if you love this movie, and all the recent Marvel stuff in the last year or two. However, ever since Spider Man: No Way Home, I have been pretty consistently disappointed by Marvel. It just seems to be that they can't connect the storylines, make a tone that works, and try new things that end up working on a consistent basis. Quantumania is a breath of fresh air in some ways, but in others it's just more of the same.

Let's start with the good. Kang the Conquerer (the new big badguy) is VERY good. Johnathan Majors is obviously a very good actor, and he gets most of the good lines and dialogue in this film. Everytime he is on screen, the movie's tone turns serious and it gave me chills at points. I am very excited to see the future of Kang. The Quantum Realm is also a breath of fresh air from the usual Marvel scenery. The action is mostly good as well, and kept me interested. Along with some jokes that were actually pretty funny, I did laugh out loud a few times. Although, sometimes it was at the movie.

Now, the bad and extremely goofy. Firstly, the poor Marvel writing consists, and there are so many corny and goofy lines in this movie. It gets to the point where it seems that they are trying to parody themselves. Cassie Lang actually says "They're Quantum people....in the QUANTUM REALM????" Also, it seems like some of the cast don't wanna be there, like Michael Douglas and the actress that plays Hope (she barely gets any lines anyways). The visual effects are hit or miss, ranging between beautiful and extremely distracting. Finally, like I said there is so much goofy that it is hard to take the more dramatic moments serious. Whether it's MODOK, Bill Murray, or the random corny lines at bad times. It just impacted the movie for me.

Overall, I think if you like most Marvel stuff, or just love Ant-Man, you will like this film. Some people might love all the goofy, which I would understand. However, for me, it just made me more tired of Marvel in general. The silver lining is I am excited with the future of Kang and phase 5 . I think if they start to improve and innovate more, the future of Marvel could be bright.

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Knock at the Cabin (2023)

7/10

Great Acting, Good Story, Okay Third-Act

6 February 2023

Mr. Shyamalan is at it again with his latest thriller "Knock at the Cabin". If the only movies of Mr. Shyamalan you have seen were Avatar, The Happening, and After Earth...you would hate this man. However, he has shown many times how he can actually make not only a good, but a great film. So where does this movie stand? Personally, I thought this movie was pretty good, but a dragged on ending just takes it down a notch.

Let's start with the good. I cannot stress how good everyone's performance in this movie is great. From the intruders, to the captives, even the kid...they are all great. Also, the screenplay is pretty tight in the first 90% of the movie, and just plunges you into the action from the very first scene. The direction, score, and pacing is all good as well. There were many times when it started to get a little slow, and it picked right back up and got my attention.

Now, the mediocre. Everything was going great until the last 10 minutes. The ending doesn't ruin it, or even affect my outlook on the movie that much. However, it does get a little self-indulgent and instead of letting the audience assume and make, inferences on what happens after the main story concludes, it holds your hand all the way. In a movie where you are trying to understand the mystery and find clues, it does hold your hand a lot and tells you everything in the last 10-25 minutes. Finally, don't expect some huge twist in this movie, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Overall, I really enjoyed it. My main flaws with it were only nit-picks. If you enjoy thrillers, I would go and see it!

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Infinity Pool (2023)

5/10

Some people will love it, others will hate it

1 February 2023

I walked into this movie knowing little to nothing other than Brandon Cronenberg was at the helm, and Mia Goth was staring. I heard it was artsy, and "disturbing" but that should've meant it was right up my alley. What I found out was that, while the film's acting + visuals + base story concept were good....it just felt a little underwhelming.

Let's start with what was good. Like I said, the acting is pretty good from the two main leads. Mia Goth goes over the top, and Alexander Skarsgard goes more realistic and human, which is a good contrast. Visuals are pretty good, same with the sound. The story has a premise that will get you interested in the first 30 minutes, dealing with a rich resort and a local government that loves to clone. However, this is where it has problems.

The story and characters are its biggest problem. They're not bad per se, but they are not are par with the rest of the film. I feel like the cronenbergs always have great ideas, but cannot execute on the characters and fleshing out of the story. You don't relate to the main character "James" all that much. I can sympathise with him, and I kinda liked him but it just wasn't enough. Same with Mia Goth, you never see why the way she is other than maybe inferences (stuff that would spoil the movie). It just needed a special something in the story department to top it off, but we don't get that.

If you like these types of experimental and artsy movies, then I would recommend giving it a shot (you love it). However, if you're more of a casual movie goer, you can probably skip. Unless you wanna pop a couple edibles and have a very weird night. However, Avatar or Puss in Boots would probably give you a better experience in that department.

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We Own This City (2022)

5/10

Great potential , but ends up boring and confusing

4 January 2023

I watched because Jon Bernthal was in it, and I like crime shows like "True Detective", "Criminal Minds", "Breaking Bad", etc. I can't stand casual CBS crime shows like NCIS so I thought I would like this. However, from the very start this was way too disorienting than it needed to be. We start out in 2015, then go to 2017, then go back to 2013 then to 2003...it just goes all over the place. The minute you start to get in a groove and sit up because you like the current storyline, it changes up to 5 years earlier or something like that. For me, it just messes up the pace. I stuck with it for 2 episodes and I could understand what was happening, but the even worse thing is was that it's just boring. All the acting is either ultra stern and criminally serious, or just weirdly phoned in like I was watching an acting class at the rec center. I didn't really care about the characters, or what was happening, and had to stop after 2 episodes. I give it a 5 because on a technical level its not a bad show, but probably just not for me.

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Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

5/10

Interesting to watch...not much more

3 August 2022

If you're looking at this you probably know at least a little about this movie. Italian filmmaker makes explotation film where they kill real animals, and at the time of release people thought the whole movie was real. That information hooked me, and it probably hooked you too. However, while this movie is a more technically sound film than I expected, it's nothing all too special.

What I Liked There are a solid amount of positive things I could say about this movie. I like the way the plot is structured, with a unique structure for exploitation films at the time. The score while not being amazing, definetly does fit the movie, and really hammered in the tone. Also, the practical effects (dead bodies, blood, etc) looked very believeable. This is why I don't understand why they didn't just use effects for the dead animals.

What I Didn't Like The acting was okay, but nothing to rock your socks off. The one thing that lowers the acting is the use of almost all ADR. Basically dubbing most of the charecters voices in post-production. It just makes the lines feel and sound a little more clunky. The cinematogrophy is okay most of the time, but can induce a little motion sickness from being so shakey all the time. However, the most glaring issue is that they killed actual animals.

Verdict I heard many people and articles saying how this film is an abomination, or the most gross movie ever...which is not true. It's an alright exploitation movie made in the jungle (that actually killed animals). I would reccomend the watch if you're just curious, and like old, cheap horror flicks.

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Firestarter (2022)

2/10

The Fire Never Started

17 May 2022

I went to see this movie and said to myself, "how bad can it be?" I didn't have a clue that a movie could be the opposite of entertaining in almost every aspect. Don't see this movie. Bad story, wooden dialogue, motivation and choices that make no sense. Also, it's not scary at all, it's not even interesting. I wasted my money seeing this, don't waste yours.

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Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

4/10

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Making a Good Movie

26 April 2022

Warning: Spoilers

To sum it up, nothing of substance happens in this movie. Things definitely happen, with some cool fight scenes and pretty effects. There is even some good characterization and jokes. But at the end of the day (assuming they greenlight more movies), this movie could be erased from existence and you wouldn't notice.

SPOILER TERRITORY:

Positives: The first act, and half of the second act was pretty interesting. It was setting up this supposed stellar third act that would have dire consequences. "Saving the world" is said to be the goal many times throughout the movie. The fight scenes, drama, and comedy were for the most part working well.

Negatives: The third act rolled around, and basically took a poop on it's own film. NOTHING HAPPENS. They bring out the real Bambi and Grindelwald is just like, "oh shoot, i'm out". WHAT? This man is supposed to be extremely deadly and calculated. Why wouldn't he just say frick this, i'm killing everyone here and taking over the wizarding world. He has all of his companions, he is super powerful. I would rather Donkey and Shrek come out and sing a musical than NOTHING happening. No one dies, nothing is changed, no progress is made. Grindelwald is still out there with his hentchmen, just like at the beginning. He is going to scheme up another plan, just like at the beginning. Everyone who is alive at the beginning, is alive at the end. Everyone is the same at the end, as they were at the start. What. The. Frick.

Overall: If you would have asked me what my score was 1/2 way through the movie...it would have been a 7/10. However, since the screenwriters seemed to be writing the third act blindfolded, it unfortunately is the film's downfall. You can skip this one.

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Moonfall (2022)

3/10

Who approved this script?

10 February 2022

Warning: Spoilers

I have nightmares about films like "Moonfall". Please don't watch this movie, unless your higher than a kite. The acting, writing, concepts are all just very poor. Not to even mention the constant product placement, with a full Lexus commercial at multiple points in the movie. You don't care about any of the characters, which makes the stakes in the movie feel nonexistent. The acting from every side character is either way too serious, or just super wooden. The movie is also super fast paced, but I somehow felt like I was in the theatre for 3 hours.

The only good thing I would have to say is the cinematography is sometimes okay, so is the score. The third act introduces some lore that is pretty interesting, but it just sets up a sequel (that will never happen). There are some jokes that land, but others are just so bad they are fun. I actually laughed the hardest when they tried to setup a sequel in the last five minutes. But anyway, this movie is booty. Please don't waste your hard-earned cash. Go out and get a burrito and a drink instead.

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The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)

10/10

A truly beautiful film

27 October 2020

The Passion of Joan of Arc is a 1928, French silent film directed by Carl Theodor Dreyer. The cast is fronted by Maria Falconetti, but also stars Eugene Silvain, and André Berley. This film has a very interesting history, including being thought to have been lost for 50 years or so. This was also Falconetti's first, and final film of her life. She lived for 18 years afterward, but she just never starred in any films again. It just goes to show that some of the best art or film is unsuspecting. I'm glad to say that this film is tragically beautiful. Let me first address what makes this movie; Maria Falconetti. This is one of the best, if not the best performance I have ever seen. I might almost say the best because she perfectly uses her face to express all of her emotions. You know what she is thinking, what she fears, what she hopes. She stares at the ceiling as if she is pleading with god, trying not to question her faith. I could only ever imagine this film as a silent one since the performance by Falconetti is just so passionate and breathtaking. The other performances are also good of course too, especially the young priest who has a very memorable scene with Joan. In other words, the performance from Falconetti and company is worth it in itself. Secondly, the cinematography and photography went absolutely hand in hand with the performances. There were many shots where I got goosebumps, or where you could pause and write an essay about that still image. Almost every shot of Joan is a close up, and it works excellently. It just shows you don't need a big budget to get shots with such beauty and emotion. The performances and cinematography are amazing, but all the other aspects are at least I would say "good". The story is pretty simple, but that is all we need for this experience. The pacing is just right, transitioning right when scenes would lose their light. The set's are I would say good for the time, but nothing spectacular, but it doesn't need that. Most of the music is harrowing but in a sense mystical at times. The only little problem I have is that sometimes solo male voices in the music kinda broke immersion for a second. This was only because they were so prominent that it took my attention off of the scene, instead of blending with it. If you're reading this by now you're either really love it like me, or are very very interested. So all there is I need to say is that this movie is in the film hall of fame for me. It just left me thinking all night, and was a truly beautiful film. It also showcases one of the best performances in film of all time by Falconetti. May she rest in peace.

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Magic (1978)

9/10

"Magic" is a hidden gem

5 October 2020

More like "hidden gold" actually, this movie is pure terror. The story revolves around a puppeteer who has just risen to fame, but takes a short break to gather himself. The man (Corky) and his dummy (Fats) end up reconnecting with his highschool sweetheart at her secluded Cabin. Now that formalities are out of the way, I absolutely love this movie. I expected absolutely nothing, but won the lottery. Anthony Hopkins is amazing, and so are all the other actors. However, Fats steals the show. Everytime he is on screen, you get this feeling of just unease. As the movie starts getting crazier you find yourself trapped in this black hole of craziness yourself. The soundtrack amplifies this feeling, especially with the use of the harmonica. Everytime I hear that damn harmonica I got goosebumps. I absolutely love this movie, and so did the person I watched it with...but some might find it not scary at all. If you are not afraid of creepy dummies or about psychological terror than this isn't for you. Also if you are expecting a slasher movie where the dummy comes alive and kills everyone, this isn't for you. This is a very serious thriller with horror concepts, and it's grounded concept helps it even more. Even Though I love it, I would say most people would say it's a 7 or 8/10. So if you like grounded thrillers or are scared of dummy's, this is a treat for you.

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The Devil All the Time (2020)

10/10

We need more movies like this!

24 September 2020

I will make this very quick. This movie is a breath of fresh air for Netflix originals. This acting is superb, everyone brings their A game. The story is dark, but trust me it's not as dark as people say. If you have ever seen "The Road", that is very dark. This is just kinda f'd up. The story is complex but easy to follow, and it just get's you invested. Also a very good script with some lines that I will remember for awhile. The cinematography is very good too. Honestly, nothing really bothered me or stood out as bad. A very good experience, and I would recommend.

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Tenet (2020)

8/10

Christopher Nolan does it again in "Tenet"

12 September 2020

"Tenet" is a film directed by Christopher Nolan, starring John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, and Elizabeth Debicki. It is about this spy that has to prevent World War III. Now that we have formalities out of the way; please watch this movie. It's okay if you wait a couple months until it's on blu-ray or digital, but you need to see this movie. The performances are outstanding, the soundtrack is superb, and just the tone and feel of this movie got me so invested. I almost don't want to say anything more. The only thing that could turn people off is that this movie is a mind f*ck. The first half I understood around 90%...but it went to 60% in the last half. The fun lies in connecting the pieces of the puzzle in your head to slowly get that percentage up. This is not a sit back and relax type movie. However, even though the puzzle aspect is fun, it is sometimes downright frustrating. The last act I was just left frustrated because my brain was left doing mental gymnastics. This is because the movie sometimes does not give you enough information to know very important things to the plot. You would have to be Sherlock Holmes to decipher some plot details, that I ended up to look up after the fact. All in all, "Tenet" is a worthwhile experience that you will remember for quite awhile.

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Waiting for the Barbarians (2019)

6/10

Strong performances save "Waiting for the Barbarians"

8 August 2020

Waiting for the Barbarians is a film directed by Ciro Guerra, and stars Mark Rylance, Johnny Depp, and Robert Pattinson. This is a historical drama where Mark Rylance plays the magistrate for this fortress on the frontier of the "Empire". There is no date or location given, and not even a name for the so-called "empire". This is because the main theme deals heavily with imperialism, and the mistreatment that has gone on in almost every example of it. Johnny Depp and Robert Pattinson are the "bad" guys checking up on the frontier, and trying to handle the barbarians. Now that we have simple routine out of the way, let me describe how I personally thought this movie was. This film has very important themes, and strong performances, but struggles to really keep your attention. The movie starts off pretty strong, with this rivalry between Johnny Depp (who is brilliant in this by the way), and Mark Rylance. It was highly entertaining to see their ideology duel and it looked like it was going somewhere. However, then we get to the long second act where it basically takes too long at everything. Also, there is no Johnny Depp, or any interesting characters or plot really. Mark Rylance is good, but his character is just wimpy, and not charismatic. He is just utterly weak in almost every sense. He is also kinda creepy with his weird foot fetish scenes (you will know when you see them). It finally picks up in the third half which is carried by Robert Pattinson and Johnny Depp. This isn't because Mark Rylance is bad, but his character on his own is just extremely boring. Everytime Robert or Johnny was on screen, it was very entertaining. I just feel they made Mark's character way more interesting. Besides seldom clunky moments, the acting is pretty good. The actual story is kinda interesting, but I feel we have seen it done in a more entertaining fashion. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying I wanted more action in this movie, I just felt like more conflict was needed especially in the second act. The themes are very important, and it does a good job of showing it (imperialism is bad). The cinematography was okay, it just didn't have a lot of "wow" moments. The soundtrack also didn't strike me much, but was okay. Honestly, if this film didn't have Johnny or Robert, I don't think I would have liked it nearly as much. In the end it is an okay film, but ultimately suffers from being kinda boring the whole second act. I will say that the Johnny Depp and Robert Pattinson performances are worth it in the end. I would recommend renting this movie despite its shortcomings.

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