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Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
A Romance To Take You Away
This Romance is my all-time favorite. It's soft and romantic, sweet and indulgent. It screams comfort-watch.
Honestly, I hate to see the rating lower than it deserves. But that probably has something to do with me being an older millennial. I didn't grow up with social media constantly chirping about how we should experience art as if it were the driest paperwork.
So please allow me to indulge my age here with an aside. Children are in a rush these days to present themselves as a moral absolute through deliberate misunderstanding and overly harsh criticism, without grace or reason.
It's a natural consequence of a life spent in the public eye. The mask becomes more important than the face. I don't envy the younger generations. It looks like a horrible thing to have to navigate. So I took the time to read the criticism, and while I disagree, I understand where (most of you) are coming from. With that in mind, I want to give a quick reference of who this movie is for.
-----So who is this for?-----
This is for lovers of Romance and passion. Who are willing to be taken away by two fabulous romantic leads played by two fabulous actors in a whimsical film about finding love that fits you perfectly.
People who are fine with the fate, true love and soulmate concepts in movies. This movie has that kind of feel to it.
People who appreciate it when a Romance doesn't commit character assassination on the other love interests to make the primary one shine. That is one of my favorite aspects and it can be hard to find in the genre.
People looking for an uncommon portrayal of men. The men in this are kind, caring, loyal and responsible. They're feeling creatures with their own lives that we don't usually see. They're not portrayed as machines or animals. They are also not treated as eye candy.
-----Who is this not for?-----
People who believe fiction should reflect reality, and find it difficult to allow art to be art, instead holding it to the same moral standards they hold the real world.
People who are looking for anything but pure Romance. This is a capital R romance. That's all it is. It's uncomplicated and airy. Like a dream.
People who struggle to feel connected to romances without sex scenes.
The next is a bit of criticism for a critic.
This movie is, pointedly, not for misogynists who don't understand why a male character doing the same as the female character in this movie /could/ be received differently.
Not only did that particular criticism demonstrate (in my opinion) a lack of exposure to female voices, especially in the current social climate, it also strangely indicated a lack of interest in film and tv as the critic seems unfamiliar with the common manner of male romantic leads in and out of the genre.
I would suggest that the next time this critic watches a heterosexual relationship on screen, one written by men in particular, they look with as equally critical an eye as they gave to this movie, and think a little on why they didn't have the same response.
Dear critic, you are very wrong in a way that requires misogyny. You do not avoid understanding such clear and frequent evidence of how wrong you are without it. Unless you have been living in seclusion and have never seen a romance on screen before. In which case, I would retract my criticism.
The Wiz (1978)
A fun time
Saw this for the first time as a kid and it still holds up today.
What viewers need to know going into is this is that, Dorothy is not a little girl. She doesn't live on a quaint farm in Kansas. The music is not chirpy, it's soul. The messaging is more mature.
Still, I saw this as a very young child. It not only kept my attention, but made a far bigger impact than the original. I never really felt connected to the original Dorothy, even though I enjoyed the movie. This one worked better, for me.
I would, however, put this into the category of movies I adore, that I wouldn't expect to appeal to the younger generation, along with Santa Claus (1985) and the Alice in Wonderland mini-series (also 1985). Media has changed. Kids didn't grow up with this style of film-making and their expectations are different.
To comment as someone who enjoys the original:
Do I think it needs a remake?
A remake wouldn't be bad, but I wouldn't be watching it. There's a magic to this particular cast, and I did grow up with this style of film-making. I like it. I'd consider it much like the West Side Story remake. I just have no interest.
Is it boring?
I saw a few people saying they found it slow or boring. I find it strange as it kept the attention of 3 young children, 2 who had ADHD. But ymmv.
What about the racism?
If you really, desperately want to, you will easily find something to pick at morally. You can do so on anything with a predominantly black cast that isn't incredibly depressing or with racism as dominant theme. But you have to come at it from that angle. The crows, as I've seen criticized, are in keeping with the funky style of the show. Not a racist depiction. But if you want to read it that way, you can. In my opinion, this is something I've seen a lot lately. Where people kick up a fuss over nothing because they feel the constant need for drama. I see it on my (the queer) side of the fence too. Many a gay person has been involuntarily outed because someone didn't like something they made. If you're that type of person, it seems this isn't the movie for you.
In conclusion, if you're wanting to give this a go, I'd obviously recommend it. But if you're unsure it's for you, I'd say consider first what kind of viewer you are. I grew up on musicals. The Slipper and the Rose, Bandwagon, The Student Prince, One Fine Day - my childhood was full of them and that alters my expectations and what I look for in a movie. I'm looking for a good time. I'm looking to get away from the real world. And I can find that here.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Boring
This weeks movie night pick, I'm sorry to say it was mine.
Both of us came to this not knowing the story. We're anime and manga fans, but not fans of this one in particular. But I heard that this was live action done right and, enjoying the occasional action movie, we thought it would at least be some mindless entertainment.
Please keep in mind that there is a fair bit of ignorance about the source material in this review.
First, why does she look like that? Other mechs in this look like normal people and she looks like a furby.
Second, there is tons of action in this. It's just really hard to find it impressive when it sounds like a cutlery drawer and the mc looks like someone stuck googly eyes on a fork.
Sound? Terrible. Terrible, terrible. Sound guy was asleep. Maybe in a coma. Where's the music? The energy?
Acting. Well, I can tell that some of these people are excellent actors. But boy does the script try to hide it. Line delivery is weak. But so are the lines.
Which brings us to the script.
Why?
There are scenes that are pointless. There's no tension. There's no time given to connect viewers to the characters. I felt more emotion for the dogs and dog guy than I did for any other character in this movie. And I don't even remember his name!
It's unfocused. Imbalanced. Nothing matters and everything is forgettable.
The dominant motivation for multiple characters is presented so weakly you have no idea why they want to get where they want to get.
There is two good things about this movie.
1. The visuals. The mechs look fun. I love the little personal designs. I was a little weirded out that the show was so incredibly afraid the girl was going to have a flat chest that boobs magically appeared from thin air. But otherwise, fine.
2. The world. I found myself interested in what they told me about the world. I imagine the source material is actually good. I can't say this was a good introduction to that.
For those two things, plus the decent actors with nothing to work with, I give this a solid 3 stars. It was boring and a waste of time.
Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
What do you want from a Meg sequel?
We had a blast watching this for this weeks movie night.
This is a very campy movie. There's no lesson to be learned here. It's not going to change your life or bring a tear to your eye. The CGI is terrible. The actors are just as campy as the plot. There's obvious pandering to the Chinese market. There's no subtext or subtlety.
If I was rating it as highbrow literature I'd rate it in the negatives. But I'm not. I'm rating it as a fun, campy movie which is exactly what I was expecting when I saw a trailer of a guy harpooning a giant shark on a jet ski.
So grab someone you can laugh with and your popcorn. Turn your brain off, and just enjoy the 4th wall breaking action. This is for people who watch old-school Godzilla movies to see Godzilla smash buildings. Fast & Furious movies to watch people drive cars in impractical situations.
The characters are shallow. The bad guys are evil. And it's a good time.
The Magicians (2015)
Not Buffy, but has similar vibes
First, I'm reviewing having watched up to S5 E4, by which point I realized they weren't going to bring a key character back and I had no interest in watching without them.
Second, I haven't read the books.
Third, while I've tried to avoid them and don't go into specifics, this review may contain spoilers.
Now on to the review.
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This show is a fun little romp that's a combination of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, Harry Potter, and Buffy.
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Positives:
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Good acting.
Diverse characters and cast.
Engaging lore and story.
Great character arcs with genuine, believable growth.
A variety of sensitive topics that were covered very well.
There is one relationship that starts as an unrequited crush and moves to a warm friendship seamlessly. It's a hard dynamic to nail and they got it right.
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Negatives:
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This show is super horny for no reason. Lots of trashy, pointless sex and a good 90% of it could have been cut out to no ill effect.
Bury Your Gays trope.
The mc has two core romances. One of them is highly destructive and unpleasant for all parties. The other is highly romantic and warm Both have very poor and unsatisfying resolutions.
I would have liked a more thorough addressing of Alice's relationship with her mother. While resolution to that relationship is given, it felt like there was a lot of miscommunication that persisted.
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Neutrals
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This show has complex characters and character development. It is likely you will dislike these characters at various points. The mc in particular is very human in his flaws, and that can be hard to take as we don't often see these flaws represented in media.
Triggers for days. The worst of it for me was the rape scene where the victim ends up pregnant and then has to struggle trying to abort. But there are a lot of triggers in this show. There are reasons for that, and none of it feels exploitative. But take care of yourselves.
Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)
Utterly Forgettable (literally)
This was last weeks Movie Night pick. I remember we watched this movie, and I remember we laughed through it because it was seriously bad. I also remember saying 'well, at least I wasn't bored' at the end.
But I couldn't for the life of me describe any scene from this movie.
I remember scenes from our very first Movie Night. But I do not remember this movie at all. That's how little impact this movie has. It's so bad my brain immediately dumped it in the trash after viewing.
I'm giving this a rating of two because the worst thing a movie can do is bore me. And I remember enough to know it didn't do that. But this could just as easily be a one star.
Bad Bad more than Good Bad.
A Haunting in Venice (2023)
Mediocre
This review should be read with the stipulation that I have not read this book. While I have seen an appreciated the Poirot tv series from the 80s, that is the extent of my experience with the character.
A Haunting in Venice was one of our November Movie Night picks.
I won't go on too long with this one. The acting is excellent and the actors suit the roles given to them. The cinematography is nice. Costuming, set design etc - all great.
Where this movie falls flat is, sad to say, the script (and possibly the soundtrack). It needed more tension and better pacing. It needed a more intimacy and claustrophobia. And less silliness like we got with the ending.
As it is, this movie felt soulless and generic. It wasn't a bad experience, just a mediocre one that was slightly disappointing.
So should you watch this movie? If you are a Poirot fan you might want to, but otherwise, you can skip this one and miss little.
No One Will Save You (2023)
Silently Says Everything It Needs To
This weeks Movie Night pick, I admit I was skeptical. You hear 'a shut-in + aliens' and it's hard to imagine where that could lead.
Well, it leads to a nail-biting experience with a brilliantly acted protagonist and a fun, unique ending, easily making the list as one of our favorites.
The film has no dialogue (or no human dialogue). Everything is communicated through expression and body language. And every actor brought their best to the table. You know exactly what is being communicated without a single word said.
It's impressive. Perfectly paced and balanced. Well-written and acted. And I love, love, love Brynn's character.
So if you're on the fence as to whether to watch this, hop over. It's well worth the time.
Yôkai hantâ: Hiruko (1991)
Strange, as expected. But ultimately forgettable.
What to say about this one? We watched it pretty early in our Movie Night experience. It was an odd movie, which we honestly expected to be the case. Not every day you hear about a movie head on a set of spider legs. What was unexpected was that I barely remembered what happened throughout the movie after turning it off. My only memories from movie are of creepy girl heads on spider legs skittering about. I think one time she was in a locker too. That's it. Everything else about the movie is lost to the ether.
This falls into an odd category of Movie Night duds where I still think it's worth seeing at least once. While the Wizard wasn't a fan, I think it was weird enough that I, at least, wasn't bored.
Paura nella città dei morti viventi (1980)
Wasn't What We Were Looking For
This weeks Movie Night pick. It was a dud.
It's just a gorefest. The acting was terrible with body language telegraphed so obviously you would think the director was micromanaging every tilt of the head. The cinematography was strange and zoomed in on random details for no reason, as well as the gore. The story was a complete mess.
There were some of good shots there that teased what this movie could have been. But they were few and far between.
If what you're looking for is gore and nothing else, this will suit. As it is, I disagree with the other reviewer that this had any resemblance to HP Lovecraft. For gore, this is likely a rarity. For everything else, this is trash.
Cooties (2014)
Funnier than expected
This weeks Movie Night pick, Cooties is a good time with your brain off.
Heavy on the comedy, but the 'horror' is basically just gore. Unless you're a school teacher and/or a writer.
So what can you expect?
Intelligent zombie children.
Guts.
Action movie tropes played for laughs.
Ribbing of schoolteachers and writers.
Mindless fun.
I rate it 6/10 because there's not much substance here. It's not something you're going to regret not seeing, but it's a good time if you do and it's obviously made with love. If you're in for a comedy and don't mind Walking Dead levels of gore, it's worth giving this one a watch.
The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)
A Good Movie Monster Flick
Our movie for this weeks movie night, The Last Voyage of the Demeter is a solid 7/10 film.
Beautiful atmosphere, interesting characters and a good plot.
Where it loses stars is in pacing. The movie is on the long side, but feels like it's rushing a bit. It edges the tension and never really hits that peak in most of the scenes. This may be an issue with the setting, as there isn't a lot you can do with a ship in these circumstances. Still, it needed to space out the deaths a bit more and develop a stronger connection with the characters for their deaths to have optimal impact.
Despite this, I recommend this film for one of those quiet movie nights, where you just want to relax and might even reach for a nostalgia watch, this has that feel to it.
For me, I'm hopeful for a sequel, as the setup promises an entertaining experience.
Come True (2020)
Not good
In the Horror genre, you always get these movies that think aiming to confuse the watcher = intellectualism. 'It makes you think so obviously it's a super smart movie!' kind of thing.
Such movies tend to attract people who consider themselves intellectuals but couldn't think their way out of a paper bag.
Sarah is an 18 year old who dresses like a 12 year old. She runs away from home for reasons that are never given and joins a sleep study that promises to pay her to sleep along with some others.
In the sleep study they can see your dreams. Everyone has different dreams but they all have a commonality. They see shadow men in REM. This presents like a sleep paralysis demon. The sleepers are filled with an inexplicable fear.
Now, nothing in this movie makes sense without the ending where you're told that the mc has been in a coma for 20 years and this whole movie is an attempt to scare her out of a coma.
The thing is, it's not scary. It moves incredibly slow. It has a terribly thick blue-grey filter on it that is mean to be for atmosphere but just increases the feeling of boredom. The characters don't behave like people. The quick attachment to the nerd who looks like he's in his mid-30s feels super creepy, especially with all the staring. And if all this is meant to be her being dragged from a coma most of the movie is just filler even with the context.
I'd say the acting is good, but the acting is mostly silently looking with different expressions, so it's not like we're getting to see much of this 'acting thing'.
I've seen compliments given regarding the cinematography, but seeing as it was the first thing to make me laugh out loud in this movie I really don't know why. I mean, if you're trying to do a project for film school then I'd clap and give full marks. It's very obvious when the camera person is 'doing a filmy thing'. It doesn't flow seamlessly at all.
Recommended for:
People who are currently sitting in an armchair, swirling red wine and reading poetry to their cat.
Not recommended for:
Australians. The emperor has no clothes and all an Aussie will do is point and laugh if he tries to convince us otherwise.