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Reviews
Syriana (2005)
Intentionally confusing?
As with most reviewers here, I came out of the movie theater after seeing Syriana muttering under my breath, "What was that about?" After much thought, it occurred to me that the filmmakers must either be incredibly naive to think that their audience would be able to make sense of this movie, or they fully intended for the audience to be confused. I may be giving them the benefit of the doubt here, but with veterans like George Clooney, Christopher Plummer and William Hurt in the cast, I'm inclined to think the filmmakers knew what they were doing. Which begs the question, Why? I don't claim to know the answer, but it may be that what the filmmakers were trying to get across to us is the reality that there is no sense to be made of the oil mess. When greed, power, fear, blind nationalism and money guide men's actions, logic and morality are left out in the cold. And the webs of entanglement that have been spun between nations, corporations, intelligence agencies, and the wealthy in pursuit of oil are such that it is probably impossible to sort out the relationships. The good guys turn into bad guys, the bad guys turn into good guys (momentarily at least), and everyone is left with an oily residue.
This is not a movie for those who like their morality plays cut and dried with an obvious message. This is a movie intended to leave its viewers with bad tastes in their mouths, with the realization that we are all players in this game. With any luck, some of those viewers will buy Toyota Priuses instead of SUVs the next time they purchase a vehicle.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
Disappointing
My friend the living movie encyclopedia raved about this film, as did Riger Ebert, so I went to see it with high expectations. Boy was I disappointed! Yes, the FX are terrific, but that's about as far as it goes. The dialogue is hammy, and when the best actor is a man who has been dead for 15 years you know you're in trouble.
My biggest beef, though, is with the plot holes. If a mad scientist has enough resources at his disposal to clone dinosaurs and build all sorts of fantastic machines, why doesn't he just build some generators in secret rather than have his robots rather conspicuously steal them? How is it that Dex manages to leave a message for Sky Captain while being held upside down in the grips of a robot? Etcetera etcetera etcetera!
I did not go into this movie expecting drama on the order of "Citizen Kane". But even in a science fiction/adventure movie things have to make sense, and be reasonably expected to occur given the circumstances. I found myself thinking far too often, "That wouldn't/couldn't happen." I've heard this movie compared to "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and I suppose in its evocation of the adventure serials of long ago it is an apt comparison. But when I walked out of the movie theater after seeing "Raiders" I was filled with a sense of awe and breathlessness; after "Sky Captain" I was filled with a sense of disbelief.
Disengage brain if you want to enjoy this one!
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Fortunately short
My 14 year old son had seen this and highly recommended it, so I gave it a shot. Throughout the movie, I kept saying to myself, "This is 2 hours I'll never get back!" Fortunately, it's not quite that long (I also missed the first 5 minutes, so that's a bonus). With the exceptions of Kip's transformation and Napoleon's presidential 'skit', both of which occurred near the very end of the movie, none of the characters in this film did or said anything substantially different from one scene to the next for the entire length of the movie, nor did they encounter any situations that were the least bit interesting. They didn't even go as far as changing facial expressions. This might have made an interesting 5 minute SNL skit, but a full length feature movie it is not! Maybe you have to be 14 to appreciate it.
If you want to watch a compelling movie with interesting high school nerds, check out Bill Forsyth's "Gregory's Girl", Mark Waters's and Tina Fey's "Mean Girls", Tony Bill's "My Bodyguard", or Richard Linklater's "Dazed and Confused". Leave this one alone!
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
Disappointed
<Spoilers ahead>
I had heard that this was a wonderful piece of animation and a truly creative and imaginative story, and in that regard this movie does not disappoint much, although I have little appreciation for anime. However, it seems to me the film is lacking in some of the basics of cinema. There is little plot or character development, serious lack of continuity, plotlines left dangling, situations resolved far too tidily, etc. At one point Kamajii tells Chihiro that, rather conveniently for her, he has been hanging on to some train tickets for 40 years. Why?? Where was he planning to go? Why didn't he use them in all that time? Why is he now so willing to hand them over to Chihiro without a moment's hesitation? There were countless examples of this sort of thing throughout the film. After experiencing No-Face's devastation of the bathhouse, Chihiro just walks out ahead of him and says matter-of-factly that he just got a little crazy in the bathhouse - reminded me of a scene in Monty Python's Holy Grail (except the scene in Holy Grail was funny). At the end of the film, Chihiro has little trouble determining that her parents are not among the pigs shown to her, although earlier in the film she could not pick them out in a dream. If you're going to put foreshadowing in a film, you ought to follow up on it and not just ignore it! Chihiro falls in love with Haku (vital to developments in the film) despite having spent only about 10 minutes with him (some of which he spent being nasty to her), despite the fact that she has been told that he is not to be trusted, and despite the fact that she has proof that he has stolen in the service of Yubaba. I know this is a movie, and a fantasy at that, but I need some reason to believe that she might have fallen in love with him, not just some other character stating that it is so. Haku, mortally wounded as a dragon and now back to being a boy, inexplicably recovers and is well enough to fly to Zeniba's house; again somewhat reminiscent of a scene from Holy Grail ("I got better"). I could go on with other criticisms of the film, but I could be here all night if I really got started.
To me, this film was simply a collection of well-animated fantasy pieces strung together to fill out 2 hours. And, to be honest with you, while the backgrounds were incredibly drawn, I didn't think the movement was anything special. It wasn't particularly funny, exciting, or interesting. I spent most of the movie thinking that there must be a tremendous gap in my understanding of Japanese culture, theology, and mythology that would have helped me to better appreciate it. Upon reflection, however, I think that no amount of cultural sensitivity could have made up for what was simply poor film- making. I concede the posssibility that, as suggested by some at this site, the English dubbed version that I saw is far inferior to the Japanese version with subtitles. However, I am not willing to waste yet another 2 hours of my life that I will never get back to find out if that is the case.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Must've missed something
I saw this movie when it first came out and didn't think it was particularly funny. Saw it again a few weeks ago, and it's still not very funny. I love broad sophomoric humor as much as the next guy, but this movie takes a single joke and beats it to a pulp. The jokes were also not terribly well-timed, the storyline was fractured to say the least, and the direction was scattershot. After reading others' glowing comments I keep thinking to myself "Did they see the same movie I saw?", "Am I becoming a stuffed shirt humorless old fart?". I don't think of myself as the highbrow type - I think "Animal House" is roll-on-the-floor funny - but I just don't see how anyone with half a brain could be amused by this movie for more than 15 minutes.
Dragonslayer (1981)
Best cinematic dragon ever!
I'm not sure there's more than one compelling reason to see this film, but what a reason! As an SF/fantasy buff, I've seen my share of dragons on film, but there has never been one like Vermithrax Perjorative. The old beast simply looks, moves, sounds, acts, almost smells as one would imagine a dragon would. The filmmakers paid painstaking attention to detail in creating VP. Other film dragons look like animated clay figures, or lizards with wings glued on, or CGI effects (impressive, but still obviously computer-generated). This one looks like the cinematographer actually caught a dragon on film. The rest of the film is entertaining enough - not exactly Wellesian drama, but captivating nonetheless. Sir Ralph is marvelous, even in his twilight. And the fact that the dragon doesn't show until the end serves to heighten the suspense, ala Jaws or Alien. But, oh that dragon!! Well worth the price of admission. Can't wait to see it on DVD.
Orgy of the Dead (1965)
It's all about expectations!
There's no discernible plot! There are some serious continuity problems! There are naked women dancing awkwardly to mistimed music! The Great Criswell is obviously reading his lines off of cue cards placed on his knees! You can see the Werewolf's hairless chest below his Halloween mask when he lets loose with something intended to be a howl! For crying out loud, it's a movie called "Orgy of the Dead" written by Ed Wood!! You were expecting "Casablanca"? If you view this movie with the proper attitude, a few sporting and mean-spirited friends, and the appropriate libation, I guarantee you that it will be a more gratifying 92 minutes than you would have at most movies playing on the big screen this year!