Reviews

The visuals are passable for a TV movie. Everything, and I mean everything, is in a gold hue.

The film is predictable. Nothing surprises. I know that is duplicitous but I have to write a certain number of words for this to be viable.

It's a series of set pieces that make no sense. "I want this warrior to prove themselves." "Oh, they do. In a very pointless way. Like, let's bring out the laser swords in the last quarter of the fight."

And that's not need the most annoying point. Everything, in this gold-hued universe has inexplicable lens flares with annoying blurs along the top and bottom of the screen.

It could have been half an hour shorter without the slo-mo.

In short ... laboured, pointless, don't care.

If one were to review this movie on an unsympathetic, unemotional view and rate it on its pros and cons, I think the only possible result would be 5.

The special effects are good and even great in some places - given the age and budget. Production values seem high in general.

Acting, and most significantly, directing, is pretty bad. Continuity is almost nonexistent. Is there gravity in space, or just skateboards. The only truly gravity defying objects are the sexy space vampire's boobs.

I enjoyed it though. I wanted to watch a silly 80s exploitation movie and it delivered on every level. So, emotionally I give it 7.

Intelligently, though, I would give it 5.

A movie that delivers exactly as expected. Kevin Hart is perfectly cast as Kevin Hart - he delivers the completely unfunny nuances of Kevin Hart perfectly.

Almost a laugh an hour, the movie is well paced. The action sequences lack action and the comedy sequences lack comedy. It's like watching a Kevin Hart "comedy" special. The laughs are all forced.

On the plus side, vegan Nathalie Emmanuel is - as always - very easy on the eye. And the fact that she doesn't mention veganism despite being handed jerky (huge spoiler, sorry) was a huge step in her acting career.

All in all, it's a movie that was made by somebody and directed by somebody and had people in it who acted. Partially. 3/10.

... gets worse. The last ten minutes were so disjointed from the rest of the film, I wondered whether I'd changed channel by mistake. It's barely worth 150 characters.

Quite regardless of the inconsistent, incoherent "plot", the film is constantly unbelievable. The acting isn't awful, but very misdirected.

Nothing makes sense. For example, they mention 160mph winds, but the rain is vertical. The main baddie shoots his own men when they are down, but can't be bothered to finish off a good guy when he's shot but clearly still alive.

There's no suspense either. I suspect that the hero's story was supposed to be a shock, but even the director must have realised it was blindingly obvious and revealed it earlier in the film than would normally be expected.

Bad. Watchable, but bad. Don't expect to watch it and not be annoyed.

Pretty awful. I can't tell whether it's supposed to be funny.

Is it supposed to be funny? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick and it's a drama. A drama with really bad acting. A drama with REALLY bad acting. And no humour.

Damn it. Maybe it's me!

Moronic Trump voters aside, others can hate this sort of nonsense. Who cares what happens shen it's not real? I hated Q's nonsense from the very first appearance and I still hate it now.

I get it in an established Trek series when the actors get bored of playing their goody-goody personas and want to have a go at playing something different, but this garbage is just trite.

Bored.

I didn't think anybody could possibly be a worse actor than Chloe Grace Moretz but the casting director proved me wrong.

Stupid concept, awful directing, acting that wouldn't look out of place in an infants' school play. Just awful. Run away. Save yourselves.

It's a comic book series that really tries to take itself seriously but is acted like Joey on Days Of Our Lives.

The main trouble with it is that it's just ... bad. The first series was watchable but as it's gone on it's just got worse. I find it difficult to take somebody serious when they're dressed as a pelican. Or whatever.

Nice idea, but taken waaaaay to seriously for people dressed the way they are.

... gets worse.in the first five minutes I counted dozens of unbelievable things. Then I tried a suspension of disbelief. Then it got worse. I wanted to like this despite Marky Mark, but it's just awful.