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jordansky
Reviews
Cloverfield (2008)
Lives up to the hype
So I just got back from possibly the most hyped movie of 2007, and 2008 thus far, (before Indiana Jones 4!!) and it amazed me. I almost don't know how to explain it. The entire movie was shot using only a hand-held camcorder, high definition, yes, but hand-held consumer quality nonetheless. Some people may criticize this, but I don't see how the story could have been presented any other way. Oh, and the story, nothing I've ever seen before, it felt un- scripted. But was it a bad thing? No. It wasn't like a bad Uwe Boll movie, but the whole feel of it was that this was actually someone taping the events as they unfolded. As far as the story goes...it starts off at a going away party for a friend, the camera man "Hud" is given a camera, and told to take confessions of all the friends at the party, and, not to spoil the movie, an explosion erupts from the center of Manhattan. The crowd guns it outside to the streets, only to catch the statue of liberty's head landing right in front of them. OK, if you aren't already hooked, then stop reading. Anyway the entire time I felt as if this was really a tape found by the US Military (as it was pretending to be). Sorry, I'm gonna stop there I got carried away. And because it was made to look as an amateur video, the camera is constantly shaky, and usually out of focus. The funniest part was before the movie when a staff member told the audience of this fact, and actually offered a refund in the next 30 minutes. All I can do now is wait and see how long it takes for a video of someone taping an already video taped movie, to be uploaded to the internet. As a ending note, many people compared this to the Blair Witch Project, which was also filmed entirely with a hand-held camera, to give the more personal and real effect. I don't know if this had anything to do with that movie, but a line near the end read "I'm so scared." A line almost the same, and made famous by BWP, "I'm so scared I could cry". I didn't.
Bikini Bloodbath (2006)
Good for Laughs
The premise of this movie is basically about, uh, um, well I don't even know.
Wow, this is what independent films are all about, bad directing, bad editing, bad acting, etc. But if you enjoy half naked women getting whacked off with ketchup blood, then that's exactly what you'll get. Even the credits are funny, albeit to explicit to post here. I could go and see if the actors in this movie are porn stars, but from the acting, I assume they couldn't even make it to that stage in the film industry.
Maybe it was the directing, I don't know, but it seemed as if everyone in this movie was supposed to act as if they were doped up on something and dropped on their heads.
And have they ever heard of a tripod before? Be the judge for yourself, compare this to any homemade "horror" film on YouTube, and you'll be more impressed by this movie.
I won't give it the "absolute trash" comment though, as this is clearly not attempting to be a graphically shocking movie, just a cheap excuse to show breasts and blood. In the same film.
Overall, if your looking for something to laugh and tear apart by the utter catastrophe of this quote "film" then this should be satisfactory for some laughs.