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Reviews
Peter Pan & Wendy (2023)
I wanted this movie to be good. I really did.
I think watching water slowly drip out of a tap would be more entertaining than this movie. The bright side of this movie is my new happy thought is that I know never to watch this again. I could go up and down the cast and each scene of why it is so bad but I am limited in time. Not one cast member seemed to mix well with any other. It's like each character was a different viscosity. Just didn't mesh.
As much as I enjoy Jude Law, he is no, and never will be a Captain Hook. It's like when you think you are doing a good impression of Sean Connery, but it actually sounds like crap. That is like Jude Law playing hook.
Jim Gaffighan, like Law I really enjoy. But he is no Smee. I felt his role was supposed to be comic relief but it lacked the comedy. And relief.
Peter Pan is supposed to be the protagonist yet I just wanted to punch him in the face the whole movie. Which gave me a feeling of guilt for wanting to punch a child.
This movie is just bland scene after bland scene. Time actually felt like it was moving slower during this movie.
At least the music was bad too.
Moonfall (2022)
Offended that I had to give it at least one star
I want the $5.99 I spent on renting this back. It would almost be worth the thousands of dollars in lawyer fees to try to sue the movie company for my money back. I am shocked that someone at some point said "it's a wrap" at the end of making this movie, and then were able to sleep that night.
The timeline of this movie for some reason confused me. As did almost everything else. I would have believed it if someone said that my 6 year old wrote this movie.
Forest Fairies (2015)
Well at least this world will burn up and no evidence of this movie will exist at some moment in the far future.
Its as if a high schools thespian club won some contest to produce a movie with semi professional equipment.
Apparently I have to write more about it to reach 150 characters to post this review.
UglyDolls (2019)
Humanity reaches its low point.
Imagine you found out that your God made you massed produced your species from one sole genetic sequence with no variation. But no that's not you yet. You possess some awful mutation and were meant to be terminated. Yet somehow were saved from death by some miracle, thus to live a life with no purpose. Then you discover that you must pass some test to prove your worth to live. only in a life trapped as some rugrats drool catcher.
This toy story/matrix/gattica/highschool musical does this story, only with B rated computer animation. Plus throw in a few overpaid singers that don't act and open with what felt like a 30 min song to start the movie.
i don't know if it really sends the message i want to my kids. I get the whole imperfect is perfect storyline and what it means. But to find out that those imperfections were meant to be thrown away in the first place from its maker doesn't send the right idea. As a matter of fact you actually first introduced the idea of "beings as ugly" in my 4 year olds head. So thanks for that.
However this movie would make a great crazy dark sci-fi plot if you make it live action and some cool dystopian CGI world, if done right.