Reviews

The endless wave of sequels, prequels, pre-sequels, remakes and reboots keeps hitting us with full force, and guess what...it still sucks.

That certain film companies don't care about film anymore has been abundantly clear. For years now mainstream cinema is feeding off the creativity of franchises from 20, 30, 40 or even 90 damn years ago. It's a sad process and certainly one we should stop supporting with our money and time. It's just not worth it.

When was the last time a remake or reboot did well? Alexandre Ajas "The Hills Have Eyes" from 2006? I certainly can't think of any other that actually added something to a franchise instead of just turning something great into something creatively bankrupt, bland and tasteless.

I hope these movies keep failing but I've been hoping so for years now... Until we don't demand originality we'll get the same kind of grey sludge over and over again.

So many people already have written about how shallow this is so I'm not gonna waste your time.

The acting is wooden, the dialog is a joke, the cgi is at times veery mediocre considering this show cost a fortune and nothing about this feels like it should.

I mean come on, Galadriel as a warrior? The writers probably never even read past page 5 of the Fellowship. This is simply embarrassing.

It's clear that the greedy folks of amazon just bought the rights to create some hype for an otherwise uninspired fantasy show.

0/10, go watch The Witcher, Game of Thrones or I don't know...the Goonies instead.

Citizen Toxie is quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to anybody anywhere. I show this cinematic masterpiece to everyone I meet, if Toxie 4 is too strong, they are too weak!

This Penthouse filled with Hookers of a movie has everything that anyone would want.

There is Violence, Gore, Karate, Time Traveling, Dolphin Man, Boobs, Dicks, Vaginas, Butts, BDSM, Lesbians, Twins fighting eachother with Brooms in their soon to be mothers womb and so so much more.

This absolute massive skyscraper of a recording will shock you, excite you and turn you into a different person. I myself consider forming a religion based around the events and morals of this film (THE FILM)

If you can only see one more film, make it this one because there will be the time where you will look back at your life and I think you should be at least able to say "Wow, I saw everything." Do yourself the favor!

And don't forget.... Toxie Loves You!

Dear Hollywood producers and once successful filmmakers that can't get past their only good film, Please stop releasing absolute nonsense, cash grab sequels that make no point.

Who on earth asked for this boring, self referential piece of garbage?

Just accept that the fruits of a almost 20 year old trilogy might not be as ripe as you think when you drink alone at night in your penthouse.

Another thing I want to address, you need to understand that recasting half your movie has never worked out...not once

This film bears the mark of a time in which originality became unimportant to bring cash in the bank. Why not make a film inspired by the Matrix by actually good writers? Why is there a need, especially right now, to butcher every single franchise that had remotely any success in the last 30 years?

This needs to end! Better yesterday than tomorrow. If I see one more "Movie X part 4,5,6,7 the pre sequel to the sequels" or pretty millionaires fooling around in front of a green screen for over 2 and a half hours playing the same freaking characters over and over and over and over again, I will completely stop to watch anything anymore in theaters with big production value!

PS: Independent Cinema always had more bite, go and buy some DVDs/Blu Rays of good underground stuff that actually tries to create an entertaining and unique experience through writing, acting and directing rather than through "I got that reference haha, isn't that from the 20 year old original?"

Bold and Brash? More like, Belongs in the Trash!

What else should I say? This is Arthouse Cinema for the Marvel crowd. Truly a prime example for the fact that good cinematography doesn't make a good film.

Ari takes himself very serious when in reality this is very much of an underwritten and overproduced joke.

Poor script, poor pacing, sloppy directing, uninspired acting, it's quite exhausting to be honest.

Ari delivers cold pizza and his fanbase sells it as a culinary experience.

Just as Midsommar this is a lesson in everything that's wrong with the current movement of pretentious, self-loving wannabe film students.

This movie is just ridiculous, it's fun af and if you don't think so I don't know why you seek out those movies in the first place.

I'm happy Mister Ho decided to cut Master Gordon into an actual Ninja movie, I couldn't even tell at first what was cut into it and what was the actual movie (until the Master, Richard Harrison entered the scene). In Ninja Protector for example he just edited Ninja footage into a crime-sex film, that made it hard to understand why Master Gordon was part of it all.

Ninja Avengers is pure and honest fun. Django Jesus mowing down dozens of Ninjas was the perfect and most insane finale ever. I loved it on every trashy level. The story itself is so basic level that it doesn't matter what exactly is going on.

Ninja Avengers is easily on the levels of Bionic Ninja, Ninja Squad and Ninja Challenge, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

If you are a trash enthusiast or love underground filmmaking then please watch this piece of cinematic gold as fast as you can.

The overacting, messy editing and nonsense conclusion make this the perfect Ho&Lai experience.

Drink a few beer, smoke a good one and enjoy the adventures of Master Gordon and Co.

10/10 on a pure entertainment level, as a movie this is a 3/10.

I was searching for this movie for a very long time. It was super hard to get my hands on the uncut version but it was really worth it.

Some in the reviews acted like every damn film needs to be 100% perfect and flawless and I really don't understand it. Sure, there is flaws, bad dialogue and plenty of mediocre acting but considering that this was a weekend project filmed in Ittenbachs House it was fantastic.

I'm a big Olaf fan, I got most of his films uncut in my collection but even I will tell you that he is not the best filmmaker but he always pours his heart into his projects and that's obvious.

The sound editing is really a Problem, especially towards the end but not nearly as much as people write in their reviews.

The acting is of course just okay at best but you can tell everyone had a blast doing this.

The effects are the best in the game but that's known even to the haters on here

There is not much more to say. It was bloody fun and that's what I wanted and got. Sure you can act like this is a Hollywood flick and completely tear it apart but as a home video it was phenomenal and it should have a much better rating. The cinematography was top notch!

What a terrible, self-indulgent, boring Wicker Man rip off. Whoever thought 150 minutes of Swedish chanting and dislikeable characters doing stupid stuff was a good idea belongs Beat.

I love artsy cinema and extreme cinema but it has to be done right and this movie did not do that at all. I could go on about how pretentious this insult of a movie is but others have done that.

If you enjoyed this you obviously have never heard of Lynch or Jodorowski.

I'd much much rather watch paint dry the next time I feel like wasting 150 minutes of my life.

Nothing makes sense, Nobody can act, there's mostly one single room that looks like a unfinished Star Trek Original set and I love it. It sucks 100% but there's so much bizzare things said and happening, it's a feast. It's sexist af but who watches HGL films for their political correctnes? Just enjoy it, shut your brain off with whatever you like to take and get ready to laugh your ass off.

The characters are one dimensional, the jokes don't work 98% of the time (for me) and the laughing track is terrible and LOUD. Some characters just take a breath and the "audience" is losing it entirely for several minutes straight per episode (at least 2-3 minutes per episode it's just laughing and another 2 minutes it's the cast pausing between sentences so the canned laughter can penetrate your senses, also let's not forget the transitions. That leaves a 20 minute episode with only 14-15 minutes of actual content). All the show does is make fun of people that enjoy science, comics, sci-fi, fantasy etc. The writers do their very best to make the cast a unbearable bunch of stereotypes and losers, which I could actually excuse for the sake of light entertainment...if they would actually pull it through!!! but starting season 6 every established trait of the characters is thrown overboard to force drama and relationship bogus into the "look at these losers, wow are they weird" kinda comedy. Terrible, shallow and insulting. The only good thing about this show is that it seemed to end the era of canned laughter in sitcoms.

It's what you've seen a thousand times before and it seems like we're going to see even more of this kinda movie in the future. Adam Sandler is playing his typical stupid, farting and puking character that turns out to be the hero against all the odds. Kevin James is fun to watch and honestly my favorite part about the entire film. The jokes that you're about to see (or have seen) are the same ones that keep Sandlers movies alive. It's gross and you don't need your brain at all. The plot is not very original but it manages to be charming and entertaining most of the time. It's not a masterpiece and I'm almost 100% sure I won't remember most of it by next week tuesday but if you need to kill 90 minutes, it's fine.

6/10: Short, stupid, unoriginal but certainly a treat for Sandler and Crew fans. Don't expect another Happy Gilmore or 50 first dates but also don't expect another Jack&Jill or Grown Ups 2.

Takashi Miike is easily one of the most diverse directors out there. Before Visitor Q I've seen "13 Assassins" and it's a day and night difference. For that alone I respect Miike and his art on a whole different level.

But let's get to the film and honestly...it's the sickest movie I have ever seen. It's not all that violent or extreme in a traditional sense. You won't see smashed heads or decapited bodies but you'll see a portrait of the most dysfunctional family you can imagine. You'll see incest, necrophilia, domestic violence, rape, drug abuse and some of the most bizarre scenes ever caught on film. The truly disgusting part about "Visitor Q" is the humor. You'll laugh and trust me...you won't like it! Takashi has a seriously twisted sense of humor and he knows exactly how to deliver it. I don't want to spoiler too much but let me tell you. This will be the first and only time you'll laugh watching a family father raping a corpse (pretty graphic).

There's so much questionable content that you don't know anymore what you're actually watching after a while. The more the movie progresses the worse it gets. What could've been a normal family drama turns into mayhem.

At one point the story just turns absolutly surreal and the lines start to blur. You constantly see the microphone hanging very obviously way too low during several scenes. The style switches back and forth from homevideo to "normal" movie. One character breaks the fourth wall and interacts with the camera from time to time. People can be seen reflecting in mirrors etc.

It's just wild, wilder than Lynch or Kubrick could've ever been and that's why I would NOT suggest the movie to everyone. I'm a Gorehound and Horror Movie collector and I was shocked half the movie. It takes on taboos in such a loose manner that everything feels wrong. Nobody acts human. Nobody feels what they should feel. It just makes you uncomfortable.

8/10 I'll never forget this movie.

Mad Mission is wild...that's for sure. There's tons of action, humor (especially in the full-length Versions) and crazy stunts. If you are used to normal Hollywood movies this will give you a kick like no other. Instead of complicated storylines and useless filler scenes you get action action action.

Part two is even better and turns Everything up to eleven. Go watch them all actually(maybe not the fifth)!! But make sure to watch the uncut versions, they're all around 100 minutes, not the 80 minute international cuts.

Btw the german dub is amazing and much much more humorous with its very lose translations and typical german jokes.

After a good smoke and a few beer this Boll disasterpiece turns into a fun, cheesy and action overloaded flick to enjoy. There's plenty of fights, cringy dialoque and terrible directing. Watch it with a few friends on a good weekend and ignore the reviews.

I actually really enjoyed the movie, not because it was good or super violent but because I like the mixture of silly innocent humor and gory special effects. It might not be for everyone and I have to admit that "Devil Woman Doctor" is the weakest in the Guinea Pig series but if you want to have a few laughs and don't have time for a full length feature you should give this a open minded try.

Oscar bait with a try-hard message that is obvious at any point. The acting is good but nowhere near perfection. The camera work is good but shows nothing new, the same goes to everything else. It's ok at best so I'd give it a 4-5 but since everyone treats it as a masterpiece, so will I. Compared to Pulp Fiction, Eraserhead, The Audition, Dances with Wolves, Lone Wolf and Cub, The Dark Knight, Alien etc it's a shaky 2 at best...sorry If you break it down it's a crazy guy dancing and making funny faces while the message is slapping you in the face. Nothing artsy about this piece of mainstream cinema.