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alex070153
Reviews
Blue Crush (2002)
My God, what's that stench?? Oh, it's just the writing.
While the scenery is beautiful, this movie was "way putrid".
I can put up with a lot in movies, but if they don't do what they say are doing, I will nail them. If one moment a person is retarded and then you have them recalculating Einstein's formulas *and* you don't have any reason why or how this happened, you aren't writing, you are just stringing words together as it happens to be convenient. In places this movie is just a collection of words.
For example, Ann Marie our heroine, has been working as a maid for sometime. We know that because we hear that they have frequently been late. She is also out of high school so she must be 18 or 19. Yet, when she sees a turd [and they show it] in a bathroom bowl, she *and* her friends act like it is an alien from out of space. That, I might believe if this girl had never had to clean a toilet and lived in a perfect house in Beverly Hills. But, no, Ann Marie lives in a fall-down house on the beach and she has been a maid for a while. No explanation.
Ann Marie works a maid. She is movie star gorgeous - even in the movie she is shown as movie star gorgeous - and she can't get a job as a waitress or hostess or a cashier. No explanation.
Ann Marie must support herself and her little sister. She has no alternatives to make a living, yet apparently in her time as a maid she has never run into a used condom. She goes ballistic. She publicly humiliates a VIP guest. She's a smart girl... she knows she is risking her job and her only source of income. And, for a used condom?? What has she been doing as a maid... picking up twinkie wrappers. Once again, she acts like a Beverly Hills queen. No explanation.
Ann Marie meets a cute guy. Although he is a star quarterback, she acts like she never met a cute guy in her life. I thought she was going to pee in her pants. This is supposed to be a woman of the world, take no prisoners, handle everything and she acts like a four year old. No explanation.
Blue Crush (2002)
My God, what's that stench?? Oh, it's just the writing.
While the scenery is beautiful, this movie was "way putrid".
I can put up with a lot in movies, but if they don't do what they say are doing, I will nail them. If one moment a person is retarded and then you have them recalculating Einstein's formulas *and* you don't have any reason why or how this happened, you aren't writing, you are just stringing words together as it happens to be convenient. In places this movie is just a collection of words.
For example, Ann Marie our heroine, has been working as a maid for sometime. We know that because we hear that they have frequently been late. She is also out of high school so she must be 18 or 19. Yet, when she sees a turd [and they show it] in a bathroom bowl, she *and* her friends act like it is an alien from out of space. That, I might believe if this girl had never had to clean a toilet and lived in a perfect house in Beverly Hills. But, no, Ann Marie lives in a fall-down house on the beach and she has been a maid for a while. No explanation.
Ann Marie works a maid. She is movie star gorgeous - even in the movie she is shown as movie star gorgeous - and she can't get a job as a waitress or hostess or a cashier. No explanation.
Ann Marie must support herself and her little sister. She has no alternatives to make a living, yet apparently in her time as a maid she has never run into a used condom. She goes ballistic. She publicly humiliates a VIP guest. She's a smart girl... she knows she is risking her job and her only source of income. And, for a used condom?? What has she been doing as a maid... picking up twinkie wrappers. Once again, she acts like a Beverly Hills queen. No explanation.
Ann Marie meets a cute guy. Although he is a star quarterback, she acts like she never met a cute guy in her life. I thought she was going to pee in her pants. This is supposed to be a woman of the world, take no prisoners, handle everything and she acts like a four year old. No explanation.
Dinotopia (2002)
The Writing Reminds Me of Being Downwind from a Pig Farm
Oh... and the scenes. My God, I thought I was at a stink farm.... a BIG CORPORATE stink farm.
Here are some of the final scenes: David and Karl have found their father in the Underground World... he has wandered hundreds of miles in the dark and they "happen" to find him. Yeah, right. Okay, that's not so bad. They take their dad to the ancient temple - a possible source of the sunstones. David sees his Skybax and flies to Waterfall City to get help. There, he single-handedly fights dozens of vicious pterodactyl-like creatures. He also brought a new sunstone and the creatures fly away.
So, now you think he will surely lead the rescue party back to the his now-beloved brother and reunited father.
Noooo, they have an awards ceremony for David at which the mayor says: "We are looking for Karl and your father, but it doesn't look good.... *but* we won't stop until they are safe." [noise in the street, everybody goes outside from the awards ceremony] A large lumbering dinosaur pulls a wagon. Driving the wagon are Karl and the father. [But, but, ... the flying rescue party has been looking for them. And they didn't notice a wagon the size of a house moving at the speed of a lame elephant?] Karl pulls back the cover and the wagon has hundreds of glowing sunstones.
[So, Karl didn't see the rescue party or else he would have shown them the sunstones. DUH!]
Huo shao dao (1990)
Oowee! It Stinks!
This is a confused mixture of a cop movie, a Kung Fu fight movie, a prison movie and then they decide they need to make a Chinese version of Cool Hand Luke. I love Jackie Chan movies when he is funny, but this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is a total waste of his wonderful talents. Sure, there are fight scenes, but there aren't that many. It looks like they kept changing their mind about what the movie was going to be, but they didn't redo the whole movie, just start the new direction and then splice it all together.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
Beautiful, Interesting, Flawed
I generally like Spielberg. I have also liked or been very impressed with Kubrick, but the mixture was too much. About two/thirds into the movie, it bogged down in details as if it were a road melting underneath your tires. I found myself asking where am I and why am I here both in general and specific items.
Bingo (1991)
B... A... D... You lose!
It's hard to describe just how bad this movie is! Let's put it this way, my girlfriend and now wife both love dogs. We both love movies. We both hated Bingo! It is easily the worst movie I have ever seen. We walked out after 30 minutes and got our money back.