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Tucker Carlson Originals: The End of Men (2022)
Greatest documentary in history
This film is utterly fantastic. It's all about how men and manhood can be saved. I plan on following Tucker Carlson's directions to the letter. I have bought his tanning solution. I currently spend six hours a day standing upon a mountain top, tanning my most important bits while I spread my arms wide and wave at people.
I have also bought a pickup truck. I have heavily accessorized it to attract other men who are as manly as me so we can be manly together.
Finally, I have bought several AR15s and have heavily accessorized them as well. I am now fighting off other men with a stick, they are so attracted to me.
Thanks, Carlson! You transformed my life for the better.
History of the World: Part II (2023)
It's pretty bad, but the original doesn't stand up so hot either
I'm a huge Mel Brookes fan. One of my cars has a license plate copied from a film of his. He's truly a comedic great, especially with Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. However, History of the World: Part III is bad. It's not funny, not funny at all. Thinking, "Gee, has the master lost it?" I went and tried to rewatch History of the World Part I. That's a funnier piece of work, but not by much. The original has better talent, better timing, more cohesiveness, and better lines, but it's just not great like I remembered it to be. I say skip Part II and, well, skip Part I as well. I'm now afraid to revisit some of my childhood favorites.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Art, Action, and Audaciousness
Creativity, breaking so many rules and yet tying everything together in a clear and relatable story arch. Visually stunning, too. CGI that completely serves the needs of the film.
Breathless action that veers into the ridiculous.
It's an audacious work of art. The best film of 2022. The best film of the 2020s. Certainly one of if not the best films of the 21st Century.
Gonna give it ten starts.
As a comedy, action, think piece, it doesn't perhaps land quite as powerfully on a single emotion as some other films. It covers too much ground. Also, my wife hates it, mainly because it was confusing and had some gross humor.
The End of Cruising (2013)
Just people talking over random video
Gay men talk about their experiences cruising as randomly shot videos play. I was hoping to learn about an interesting culture. Instead, it was just dull. Then the computer voice hit. Painful. Do not recommend.
God's Not Dead (2014)
This film kills all love of God
What I got from the first 15 minutes of the film:
A Muslim fathers is excessively controlling about wearing a Niqab to cover up properly, and yet he doesn't notice his rather shapely daughter wearing tight clothing.
Christians are persecuted in American colleges. - Don't wear that cross, bruh!
Asian men are emotionless. - token Asian dude
Atheists are vegan and loud about their beliefs. - bumper stickers
Atheists are greedy and transactional. - investor talks to daughter in transactional way. Or is he her much older boyfriend? Can't tell. Creepy.
Ayn Rand is taught in philosophy classes. Rand as a towering intellect? This film is a comedy. I laughed for a minute straight.
Atheism as a lesson? What? The entire concept of a secular university professor teaching that way is absurd. I went to UC Berkeley, the liberal, secularist bastion of society. We never discussed the existence of God because, well, that's religion, not philosophy. The closest we got to discussing God was in a Nietzsche class, where we had to learn and explain Nietzsche's ideas. We were never asked to believe, agree, or like any of it. Our goal was to learn, understand, explain, and identify strengths and weaknesses of complex ideas. We learned to think, not believe. Except for friends, I had no idea of my instructors or classmates were atheists or devout in anything. It just didn't come up, ever.
Before Berkeley, when I took a class named Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion, I learned a lot about magic, witchcraft, and religion across the world. I was never asked to believe or disbelieve any of it.
A philosophy professor who doesn't understand the famous line of Nietzsche? He should demand his money back for that PhD, and every student in that class should demand their money back from the university for having such an incompetent teacher.
The film depicts blatant religious persecution that would cause a lawsuit and a riot at Berkeley. None of us would have sat through such bullying. I'm sure it happens sometimes somewhere, but demanding a class to write that God is dead? That's dramatic, but it's absurd. It builds on the belief that Christians are persecuted in America, which is pretty hilarious since Christians largely control America. Remember, even Biden is Catholic, along with much of the Supreme Court. Then again, Trump as a Christian? Hard for me to believe considering all he has said and done.
No philosophy class asks students to defend or attack their own ideas. If there's one area philosophy professors don't care for one bit, it's the ideas of their students. Jesus Christ, I'm almost 15 minutes into the film and I've written 370 words of how it's gotten so much wrong in such childish ways. I tried watching more, but it's like pulling toenails, so I fast-forwarded and jumped around.
Anyway, I thought this would be fun with 4-5 beers. It isn't. It's just poorly made schlock. Painful to behold.
Best of Caught from Behind 2 (1988)
Come a little closer, Sam!
Peter North is the greatest host ever. He has many talents. One scene is pretty hot, in a kitchen. Mainly North is hilarious as he does the hosting. Worth it for that alone.
Rocketman (2019)
Do you like bad karaoke? Have I got the film for you!
From the opening note, I knew I was in trouble. From the second note, I wanted to flee. However, my wife had dragged me to the film, so I had to slog through four hours of crap karaoke. OK, I'm sure it's shorter than four hours, but it certainly felt like four hours. It's not really the acting, which was bad. It's not really the fantasy cinematography nor the mediocre direction. If the singing were spot on, or even if they just lipsynched, all would be forgiven. But no... bad, bad, bad singing. BAD!
AND I LOVE ELTON JOHN! LOVE HIM!
The plot was kind of garbage. It's hard to fit a lifetime into a film, but I got no sense of growth.
The Queen movie was so much better.
You're best off skipping this film and getting drunk with karaoke.
Hoaxed (2019)
Watching rich, lucky people whine about being victims
This is utterly painful, watching incredibly privileged people whine about how they're such victims. Ominous music plays in the background. Grainy, Amiga-level special effects cover the video. Your heart pounds. Your eyes roll. This just proves that some people have no shame and no connection to reality. And they think of themselves as victims.
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
Genuinely Decent Action Flick
Want big fist fights, a bit of style, and some cheesy FF special effects, all rolled in with a stupid plot? Here you go. See it for the fight scenes and humor. See it for the physical presence of the two stars. See it for the bits of Ryan Reynolds humor.
All Babes Want to Kill Me (2005)
We laughed, we laughed, and we laughed
This is a stupid, stupid film. It's also hilarious. Stupid characters that make you laugh. Terrible acting. Terrible ideas. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. It's so bad it's good. The fight scenes aren't so bad, though. And the concept is hilarious.
And the revealed joke at the end is just so, so funny. My wife and I laughed the entire time.
Liu lang di qiu (2019)
A steaming pile of schlock
Liu Cixin is a genius, a world class author, not just a world class scifi author. This film vomits all over his legacy.
There are films that are so bad they're good, and then there are films that are just plain bad. This film is just plain garbage.
The acting is terrible. The characters are paper thin caricatures. The dialogue is pointless. The special effects are out of date and way, way overused. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is realistic. Imagine if somebody took all the worst features of a Fast and Furious film, and those have pretty much all terrible features, and got rid of the humor and silliness, replacing it with a slog through pointlessness. OK, it sounds like a FF movie, but it's worse. Much worse. I'd rather watch the whole FF franchise in one sitting, sans bathroom breaks, than Wandering Attention Span.
And a lot of the 10-star reviews are just propaganda. At best, this film is a 3.5.