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Stargate SG-1: The Warrior (2002)
Season 5, Episode 18
3/10
Let down by acting/casting
4 May 2024
The poor casting choice of Rick Worthy tarnishes this entire episode. He doesn't do a good job portraying the leader of a Jaffa rebellion. He isn't convincing as a charismatic leader who inspires men. Perhaps that was intentional, but the fact remains that he ruins any scene he is in.

Something feels off about the whole episode, as if everyone has lost their mind and forgotten their own personalities, particularly the usually unemotional and discerning T'ealc. The weird fight scenes make it seem like fan fiction.

It's a failure of writing as well. None of it is believable, and the characters do not behave how they would actually behave in this situation. It's a forgettable episode with a seemingly huge initial premise that comes to nothing.
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The Good Doctor: Burnt Food (2017)
Season 1, Episode 1
3/10
Cringeworthy
25 November 2023
This is not how people act or behave. I don't mean the protagonist, but the rest of the cast. The entire premise of the episode (and possibly the entire show?) is ridiculous - there is not this level of discrimination against autistic people, in fact a huge number of autistic people ARE surgeons and nobody cares.

To have the board of a hospital get so worked up about the idea of hiring an autistic person, with people saying they don't want to have someone autistic working there (without even meeting him) is ridiculous to the point of absurdity. Never mind the fact it would break multiple discrimination laws, it is not how people behave.

Straight away Shaun finds himself an an unlikely situation where a boy's life needs saving. The whole thing seems surreal and bizarre. It's not realistic. At the end it becomes like one of those memes: "and then everybody clapped". I got second hand embarrassment that somebody wrote this and thought it was good.

The writing was awful in this. There are frequent flashbacks to his childhood, which reveal a bizarrely unrealistic "origin story". It's laid on so thick, so full of cliche.

Freddie Highmore does a decent enough job of playing Shaun, and some of the representation of autism in the episode were good. I feel some of the other casting choices were questionable and put in poor performances (smirking Chuku Modo in particular).

The entire scene of Shaun not being allowed into the hospital was stupid, as were most of the interactions between the rest of the characters. I was continuously thinking "this isn't how people talk or behave".

The show is so badly written, it's difficult to tell whether it's meant to be a serious drama or low quality daytime soap opera. It seems that the writers contrive to make things happen because they want to show it, which makes character motivations nonsensical. It feels like deus ex machina. Nothing unfolds organically, it all feels so made up, almost like a fairy tale. And then they all clapped.
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OtherLife (2017)
3/10
Badly written
8 October 2023
A lot of the time sci-fi movies are rated too low, but this isn't one of those times. In fact, this doesn't deserve a rating above 5. It is not better than the average movie. It's actively bad.

The plot is bad, the dialogue is bad, the characters are bad. I couldn't even tell you who any of the characters were besides the main character, or what their relationship to each other is.

The scenes are so disjointed, a lot of the time I didn't know what was happening or why. There is a countdown clock that keeps being shown to build tension, but... it's not counting down to anything that matters. It's stupid.

The protagonist's brother is in a coma, but we know nothing about him and never see them interacting, so I don't care at all about it. She is trying to do... something. I don't know what. The scenes are so random with nothing explained so I never knew what was actually happening, or even whether it was happening now or in the past.

There are frequent scenes of her being told off or having to justify herself to people whom I have no idea who they are, then a completely different scene with someone else I don't know, of unknown importance, possibly a relationship, then back to another scene with different people telling her off. No idea what any of it means, or what she's actually trying to do, or why any of it matters. This is not how to tell a story.

I gave up on it after 40 minutes. It's not worth spending time on.
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The Orville: Future Unknown (2022)
Season 3, Episode 10
1/10
Mind-numbingly dull
1 September 2023
Season 3 of the Orville has been so bad that it took me months to finally work up the effort to watch the season finale. Every episode this season was extended and in desperate need of editing. So many pointless scenes could be cut out, and that is more true than ever of this episode.

I remember reading someone else's review of one of the previous episodes of season 3, that they are having too many episodes about Moclan gender/relationship issues and too many episodes about the doctor/robot relationship, and how they hoped the finale would at least be good.

This episode was about both. It starts out with Bortus and Klyden renewing their vows, by chasing each other naked through the woods. Then Isaac decides he wants to marry the Doctor. And the rest of the episode is about organising and having a wedding.

This show has become a daytime soap opera. Seasons 1 and 2 were a funny sci-fi adventure show about exploring the galaxy. The stories were tight, and interesting. Season 3 is a show about relationships and women's issues, which happens to take place on a star ship but it could also be in 21st century earth. The writing is mundane, predictable and boring.

I was absolutely bored out of my mind watching this. It didn't even have a story. An hour and twenty minutes of nothing. It seems like the odds and ends they couldn't fit into other episodes.

With the writing of this episode, I get the impression the goal was to pass the Bechdel test rather than to write a good story. So many of the scenes are pointless and unnecessary, just interminable interactions between 2 or 3 of the women on the ship, talking about nothing, for very long periods. I forced myself to sit through it even though I wanted to turn it off. There wasn't a story, just a marriage.

Although actually there was a B story, just barely. It was pointless and went nowhere. I don't understand who they're trying to appeal to with this show any more. Certainly not fans of classic Star Trek or the first two seasons of the Orville. But a lot of people seem to love it - all these baffling 10 star reviews praising the writing... what writing?!

Future Unknown was mind-numbingly dull, and the future is at least known for me. I will never watch another episode of this crap, nor will I ever re-watch any of it. Total waste of time. The Orville: New Horizons is not The Orville. It's fan fiction for people who don't like sci-fi, but are very interested in gossiping about relationships.

Over half the episodes this season were about 21st century identity politics, and almost as many were about a relationship on board the ship. This is not a sci-fi show. I guess it's aimed at left wing women, but wearing the skin of a different show, like so many shows do these days. The question is, where can you even find good television any more? Every show is like this now.
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4/10
Need to take a mental health day from It's Always Sunny
22 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I'm so baffled by all the 10 star ratings. I'm hoping that it's just because it's a recent episode so all the people who don't think just come along to rate it 10 because it's a show they like. Hopefully over time sane people who understand how a rating system works will arrive.

This is not the best episode of It's Always Sunny. Currently at 9.2, making it the best episode of season 16 and better than almost every episode of the previous 16 seasons. Definitely not!

This is a Dennis episode, not just in the sense of him being dominant, but he's literally the only character. The other members of the gang appear very briefly via a phone call.

Episodes focused on a single character can succeed, but it's very difficult to pull off. It has to be something really special. It's particularly baffling considering the recent improvement in quality this season. The golden years of the show were season 1 to 11 (and maybe 12). All seasons after this have been mediocre, but season 16 was a bit of a return to form. It's like they remembered what made the show was funny.

Indeed, that is probably the reason season 16 has been better: because of the podcast. So it's confusing how they could come up with this episode. The best thing about this show is the five main cast members and how they interact with each other - the dialogue, the facial expressions, the banter, the absurd ways they deal with the situations they find themselves in.

In "Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day", we watch Dennis - all episode - interacting with customer service for long periods. All of the humour in this episode could have been performed in a three minute stand up routine, and it wouldn't have been particularly funny. These are boomer-tier observations. It's not wrong, these aspects of modern life and technology ARE annoying, and we all know that. Pointing it out might get a mild chuckle - "yeah, that's annoying for me too". That's the extent of the humour.

To spin this into an entire 30 minute episode focused on one character is spreading the comedy very thin (and I love Dennis). This just wasn't like an episode of It's Always Sunny. This could have been any sitcom, or a brief stand up routine.

And then we have the ending. I was just confused. Dennis magically appears at a beach house, without transport, and then reaches inside another man's chest (who just stands there accepting it). Dennis pulls his heart out, and then removes a diamond from the heart and eats it. I don't know what this means. What was that?

This is shortly followed by the old it was "all just a dream" trope. Dennis was day dreaming the entire episode! And he is awesome and can throw something away without looking. The End.

I'm sorry... WHAT? This is a 10/10 for people? This wasn't an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's my favourite show, and I will continue to rewatch seasons 1-12, and then perhaps 1 episode per season after that and most of season 16. But this episode I will never watch again.

If the podcast somehow improves this episode for you because Glenn Howerton previously mentioned some of the topics, then there might be something wrong with you. That doesn't make it funny. Previously hearing something doesn't make you part of an "in group" or make a reference to something funny. You are not Glenn Howerton's friend, he doesn't hang out with you.
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The Wonder (I) (2022)
8/10
Great except for the fourth wall breaks
25 June 2023
The Wonder has an intriguing story which draws you in immediately, and despite the slow pace, you never once feel bored.

The setting in Ireland is beautiful, with the green and brown peat moorland dotted with purple heather, and in the background the Wicklow Mountains set against the sky. The attention to detail with the time period is great, all the sets and costumes are accurate, and the committee of men sat behind their table seemed iconic, it reminded me of a painting.

The casting here is superb, as is the acting. In particular, Florence Pugh is wonderful, and I doubt the movie would have been as compelling without such a good performance from the lead.

Considering how immersive the period setting is, I am completely baffled with the decision to break the fourth wall. Straight away the movie begins in a modern movie studio with a narrator telling you it's a movie, before panning around to the set .I thought I'd played the wrong movie. I was so close to switching it off.

It then breaks the fourth wall again around the middle point. At the end of a scene, an actress suddenly stares straight at the camera and then the narrator talks to us again about how it's a story. This happened right when I was immersed in the story and the setting and it threw me out of the story.

Finally after the movie ends, the camera pans round to show they are in a movie studio, and the narrator is standing there, staring into the camera. This ruined the movie for me.

I can't stress enough how stupid this was. I do not know why it was done. Pretention? A reference to something in the novel? It is STUPID. Possibly one of the most stupid things I've ever seen in a movie ever. They ruined their movie. It was so unnecessary and pointless. Whatever the pretentious reason for it, it wasn't worth it.

I'm giving The Wonder an 8 based on ignoring the fourth wall breaks entirely and pretending they don't exist. Otherwise the movie is a 3.
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Silo (2023– )
2/10
Another generic American TV show that nobody will remember
6 May 2023
Corny dialogue, wooden acting, terrible casting, ridiculous premise and. This show desperately needed better writers and someone who cared about making a good show, instead of just churning out more generic forgettable drivel.

I couldn't get past the first half of the first episode because of how bad it was. It was just about this couple trying to get pregnant. Rashida Jones and David Oyelowo had no chemistry together. Nobody else in the cast barely registers. It feels like watching a daytime soap but set in a mildly "sci-fi" setting.

The idea of the show is illogical and doesn't make any sense. It all impinges on the idea that up until the point we watch, all the inhabitants of this place were braindead and never asked any questions. How is it possible to have no memories of the biggest event in the history of humanity that causes you to live like this, and you don't wonder about it? They'd have had to erase everybody's memory or killed everyone.

I can't even be bothered to find out the answers to the mystery, because it's just too stupid and unrealistic that I don't care. Maybe if it had better writing then they could have made it compelling. If the show does change and get better later on then they really shot themselves in the foot by having such a poor opening episode.

All of the 9 and 10 star reviews on here look like press releases written by people who worked on the show.
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Chemistry of Death (2023– )
3/10
Boring
2 February 2023
Bad pacing, underdeveloped characters, and lacking in plot.

The initial opening was intriguing, in which two boys find an unusual corpse in the woods. But as for the rest of the first episode, I couldn't tell you what happened in it and I literally just watched it five minutes ago. The problem was: nothing happened. I couldn't even tell you a single character's name. I have no reason or desire to continue watching.

Apparently The Chemistry of Death was a novel first, so something must have gone seriously wrong in translating it to the screen. Television is such a mature medium now that writers, directors and producers should know how to tell a story and keep the viewer engaged.

For something that's meant to be set in a sleepy English village, it certainly didn't feel like it. I'm not sure what was missing, but if it wasn't for the occasional shot of a house in the countryside, I would have thought this was set in London. Perhaps an issue of casting, acting etc. The atmosphere wasn't there, it didn't feel like any of the people actually knew each other or lived in the same place as each other. Fundamentally it didn't convey the feeling of the place or the people it was meant to.

It seems like many shows nowadays are a checklist or painting by numbers, rather than a labour of love in which the creators have a passion to create something wonderful or brilliant because it matters to them.
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1899 (2022)
6/10
Intriguing mystery let down by slow pacing, poor writing and dialogue
28 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The creators of 1899 said that the "European angle" was very important. They wanted to create the show as a "counterpoint to Brexit and nationalism", but ironically, it is this element that is the weakest part of the show and demonstrated the opposite of what they intended.

All the characters speak in a variety of different languages and they cannot understand each other. This means the opportunities for dialogue or interaction are very limited.

Despite this, the characters regularly talk AT each other, without being understood. These characters from different countries speaking different languages somehow pair off, despite never sharing a single understood word between each other, and having nothing in common, they somehow make baffling decisions because the plot requires it.

This would not happen in real life; indeed, birds of a feather flock together, and everywhere multiculturalism has been tried it has failed, with people of similar backgrounds and cultures and who speak the same language grouping together wherever they are, and hostilities occuring where there are differences. It's human nature, but in 1899 they try to present the opposite - an and unnecessary Tower of Babel situation that doesn't work.

I speak multiple languages myself and have no problem watching shows with subtitles. The problem is that this isn't realistic. It's not how people behave and it doesn't work.

Having people speak multiple languages can work, but it would have to be part of the plot, i.e. How they communicate, and the difficulties of this. In 1899 they they all talk in their own languages, and the person they're talking to stares at them uncomprehending and then replies in their own language.

It's really rather absurd, to see a woman from China speaking Cantonese to a Polish man, or a man speaking Danish to a Spanish man, with no words ever understood between them, but they just keep doing it. Why? What's the motivation to keep talking without being understood, and why wouldn't they instead talk to those who do speak their language. It's frustrating to watch. 1899 could have been so much better without this language issue.

1899 also has the usual modern politics injected into it. The aforementioned Danish and Spanish men somehow, despite being unable to converse, use their perfect gaydar to discover each other and strike up a relationship - in the year 1899, and despite being different classes. The Christians are cruel, insane, and hear voices. A French noblewoman cannot wait to get out of her dress and put on men's trousers and act tough. A tiny flimsy Chinese girl shovels coal... for no reason. A Frenchwoman wants a black men instead of her husband. None of these things matter to the plot, in fact they are distracting. They are there just because this TV show was made in 2022.

I suppose none of it matters really, it's all fake, but it ruins immersion. Character motivations are sorely lacking. It's difficult to suspend disbelief when characters behave continually out of character and make seemingly random decisions. The pacing is also rather slow, which could have given the show a chance to build the characters more, but this is the one thing it refuses to do, so the pacing is wasted.

As 1899 is a show that intentionally keeps us in the dark about everything that's happening and barely anyone is capable of discussing it, it leaves the viewer bewildered, watching long scenes of characters talking at each other in different languages, and then apparently making decisions using mind reading or a deus ex machina from the writers: they do things in order to put them in the situation the writers want, rather than because it makes any sense.

It's not until episode 6 or 7 that the viewer gets some real plot. Until then, an occasional tidbit of intrigue is peppered into each episode, typically at the end, to keep you watching. It's very reminiscent of Lost in that respect, but without the brilliant characters, dialogue or writing. Ninety percent of every episode is pointless. I found myself not caring what happens to any of the characters, I just wanted to know what the strange thing that happened for 1 minute at the end of the previous episode was, and that's the only reason I continued watching.

What was told in 8 episodes could have been told in 4. To anyone who does last until episode 7 and 8, they are greeted to some twists that are worth the wait. I very much enjoyed these weirder elements that make you question reality.

The sets, costumes and acting are all fantastic in 1899, and the CGI is outstandingly good. I found myself often questioning whether a scene was filmed on location, or in a green screen, and the fact I could not was quite an apposite thing to notice.

I wish I could have liked 1899 more. I really admire what they tried to do, but the very thing the creators said was important was the weakest element that makes it frustrating to watch. For me it knocks the show down from an 8 to a 6.5 out of 10.

This review is based on the first season. I would certainty watch more, just for the plot that occurs in the final two episodes and the intriguing ending.
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Count Magnus (2022 TV Movie)
3/10
Disappointing
25 December 2022
This adaptation did not have the tone or atmosphere of an M. R. James ghost story. It's very disappointing from Mark Gatiss.

I like Jason Watkins as an actor and have been impressed with him in other things, but his performance here is mostly phoned in. I also thought he gave too much of a comedic performance. Whilst in the original story Mr Wraxall does sing to himself, I never thought the story was meant to be light-hearted.

There was a complete lack of suspense or danger due to the way this was written and directed, and it also did not evoke the appropriate feeling of the time it was set in. The characters seem like people playing dress up for fun.

There was one character invented - a mute black man. Why on earth? He looks so conically out of place. In fact he looks ridiculous, and it completely ruins any immersion, but there was barely any to begin with. His role added nothing to the story, but I suspect the BBC required it.

I would give this a miss, it really is a waste of time and not even remotely scary or eerie. Better to watch one of the original run of A Ghost Story for Christmas from the 1970s.
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Peep Show: Threeism (2015)
Season 9, Episode 3
10/10
Ah, lovely lovely blink, last one of the night
14 October 2022
Everything that happens in this episode is so ridiculous. But that's what's so great about it. This episode wouldn't be possible if you hadn't already watched eight and a half series of this show. We've seen so much happen through the eyes of Jeremy and Mark. We've heard their thoughts evolve over time.

So when it comes to Mark having "I LOVE YOU" written on his eyelids in permanent marker, it happens so organically. It seems impossible, yet here we are.

And that's how you end up with Mark wearing garish blue eye shadow, at a dinner party with unwanted guests, where he serves baked beans, pasta and lettuce, all with the goal of getting with a woman he briefly met years ago to show an interest in him.

The writing here is superb. The brief internal thoughts you hear from Mark are spot on, and reveal the total breakdown that is occurring, in the most comical way possible. They reach a level of ridiculousness that borders on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, but because we see it through their eyes and hear their thoughts, somehow it is completely believable.

"Is this Ribena", he asks Mark, who despite the blue eyeshadow you can just make out the top edge of the writing on his eyelids. He's an alcoholic, with a complicated past....
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Dark Signal (2016)
2/10
Awful acting
3 October 2022
What's the point of setting something in rural North Wales if your cast all have random accents from around the world? The worst is Joanna Ignaczewska, a Polish actress whose accent was all over the place. At the start it almost seemed like she was trying to do a Welsh accent really badly.

Joanna could barely speak or act; in fact at times it seemed like she was mentally challenged. When she tried to cry it looked like she was laughing. Her acting alone ruined this movie, but it wouldn't have been much good regardless.

The Italian woman, played by Cinzia Monreale, is not played particularly well, although I suspect the main problem there might have been the script.

Siwan Morris as the radio DJ is too over the top. She plays up this bad girl attitude with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and dancing around, but looks uncomfortable and out of place doing it. It was reminiscent of a school girl acting for the first time in a drama classroom.

James Cosmo is the only member of the cast who did a great job, but a movie this bad can't be saved. I can't stress enough how bad Joanna is in this, she can barely talk and it's so jarring.

The story didn't make much sense. It couldn't decide whether it was a slasher or a ghost story. The jump scares were out of place, and since Joanna reacts to them, they seemed comical. The gory non-supernatural violence then created a confusing mix.

I didn't even watch it to the end. I got about 85% of the way through, which was far more than it deserved. I didn't care enough to find out what would happen.
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The Capture: Invisible Men (2022)
Season 2, Episode 1
1/10
What happened?!
30 August 2022
Was this made by the same people as the first series? I don't normally watch shows from the BBC (with good reason), but I thought series 1 of The Capture was great. It was a gripping detective/conspiracy story with good acting and a fantastic plot, which was told in an intriguing way - keeping just the right amount from the viewer. I gave it 7/10.

I couldn't get past the first 15 minutes of the first episode of series 2. Awful casting, detestable characters, and no attempt at telling a story.

The new characters were bad enough, but the existing characters all seemed to have a personality transplant. Anything to push the agenda rather than tell an interesting story. I'm out... Maybe it will get better, but if those are your first 15 minutes then I can't watch this.

Apparently the second series has a 100% approval rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes already, so that tells you everything you need to know. It's a shame because I enjoyed the first series, but evidently its popularity has made it into just another platform to push the same things that are in every show now.
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They Live (1988)
9/10
Cult classic
6 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
They Live is such a classic movie, from a time when directors took risks and were willing to do something different and be creative, instead of the painting by numbers and box ticking we get now.

Roddy Piper in the lead role was an interesting casting choice, but he does a great job. He has the perfect attitude for this role. Keith David brings his usual strong screen presence.

They Live has become somewhat prophetic. Some scenes have already become a meme, because of how well it applies to a lot of what is happening today. In fact, you could take many of the signs and dialogue and it could be talking about the plans our leaders have for us now. The only one that doesn't fit is the "marry and reproduce" sign.

The movie starts out with a slow burn introduction following the protagonist as he struggles to find work and somewhere to live. In the background John Carpenter's soundtrack creates a sense of unease with a simple ominous beat that occurs throughout the movie.

As soon as he acquires the famous sunglasses, the pace picks up and it turns into an action movie, with the shotgun-wielding Piper resembling Bruce Campbell in The Evil Dead. This is where the classic line "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum" appears. I really like the repulsive appearance of the aliens. It's not like anything else I've seen.

The one scene that I felt was a bit out of place was the fight between Roddy Piper and Keith David. It seemed unnecessary and went on a long time. Perhaps its inclusion was because of Roddy being a wrestler. Indeed, the fight was very visceral. No stuntmen involved here; these punches look like they're landing.

I consider They Live a must watch, and always enjoy rewatching it.
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Cosmos (I) (2019)
2/10
Very slow-paced, very light on plot
4 August 2022
The two directors did everything for this film themselves, including the sound recording, editing and mixing. Well, that was an enormous mistake. I could not hear any of the dialogue. And I'm not exaggerating. Without subtitles, I wouldn't have been able to watch this. The dialogue is all mumbled under the breath or whispered softly. It sounds like listening to someone underwater.

Apparently it was all recorded on one camera. They should have had someone who knows what they're doing, with a boom mic or multiple microphones, and professional sound mixing so that the dialogue isn't the quietest thing. I almost deafened myself because I had the volume 4 times higher when the movie ended.

Now let's talk about the plot. Being an indie movie on a low budget is not an excuse. This film's plot is barely existent. The first hour of the movie consists of three people in a car mumbling at nobody. They "talk" as if they're hoping nobody else will hear it, always under the breath. Tom England is the worst for this. Some of his lines come out as a croak without even engaging the vocal chords, or even just lightly breathing out. They should have hired theatre actors who are capable of enunciating and projecting their voices.

At one point Tom England tries to wake someone up by shouting. He still whisper-croaks the line without engaging his vocal chords. Later on he tries to sing along with a song mockingly, just with sounds like "mim mim mam" because he didn't know the words, and it sounded the same as the rest of his speech.

The dialogue itself, which I had to read on the subtitles, is pointless and mundane. A lot of it could be cut, as could the many slow shots of people staring into the distance, or just a shots of the outside of the car. An entire hour is wasted on them sitting in this car doing nothing, with nothing being said other than a few words occasionally.

Most of this could have been condensed into five minutes. I suppose they didn't have enough plot, or enough money to tell a real story. But this was in such serious need of editing. There is no reason to make something this slow paced. To show the same shot for 4 or 5 minutes with some mournful piano music... 10 seconds would have been enough.

The tension is created by arguments about completely pointless things that don't matter. They lay it on with the music that's meant to tug at the heartstrings, but for me it did nothing because I was well aware of how inconsequential it was. They get upset about things that people in the real world would shrug off immediately, but acting as if their entire family was just killed.

They do the same with things that are meant to be deep, but aren't. Inspiring music plays, but the actual things they are saying have nowhere near the gravity the music suggests. I wonder if some people's emotions were manipulated by the brilliant music that they didn't notice how bad the writing was. These scenes linger on for way too long, with people looking into each other's eyes longingly, and then delivering 2 lines of dialogue, then staring into each other's eyes again. Nobody behaves like this in real life.

The film picks up a bit after the first hour - and some of the dialogue actually becomes audible - but that first hour is so difficult to get through. It's a real shame they didn't make the second half of the film with a 5 or 10 minute intro introducing the characters.

The finale is unbelievably low stakes. It's so stupid and unnecessary. The only real danger is their own stupid decisions. But none of it makes sense from a technological standpoint anyway.

Cosmos is not really a sci-fi movie. Instead it's a rather mediocre story about a very minor falling out between three people who used to work for the same company. They act like this is far more important than it actually is. With how much they talk about it and the music choices, you'd think they were describing seeing their family killed in a war. The amount of scenes of looking into each other's eyes as heart-warming music plays is ridiculous when you realise what has actually been said.

Funnily enough, the music was the only good thing about Cosmos, it just wasn't used well. This would have been a great score for a different movie. The music was also the only thing which the two brothers who directed it were not responsible for.

I give the first hour 1/10 and the second hour 3/10, so 2/10 overall.
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Portals (2019)
1/10
Don't watch
27 July 2022
Portals is really bad. I think it's some kind of showcase for a few different directors to "show their stuff". Some of the acting is mediocre, and some is laughable. Unless you know someone personally involved I don't think there is any reason to watch it.

The story is essentially non-existent. They tell four different unrelated stories with different people, but which are connected by the idea of these portals. None of it is well-explained, it's just a confusing mess.

Any attempt to build tension or suspense doesn't work, because it's all so stupid and you have no idea what's going on.

Portals doesn't have any redeeming qualities really, and I regret watching it.
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Supernatural: ScoobyNatural (2018)
Season 13, Episode 16
2/10
Embarrassing
3 July 2022
How is this the highest rated episode for seven years? It makes me more concerned for fans of Supernatural than the state of the show, although I guess more fool me for continuing to watch season 13 of a show that peaked in season 5.

Even if you love Scooby Doo or grew up watching it (as I did), this is just cringe. It's not even funny, it's sad.

I don't have anything else to say. This is just not good television and you should feel bad if you like it. Supernatural obviously died a long time ago, kept alive on fan service to this point, and apparently now kept alive on crossover episodes with fan service from childhood cartoons.
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Rick and Morty: Forgetting Sarick Mortshall (2021)
Season 5, Episode 9
1/10
Bad
15 April 2022
It's like a child previously saw an episode of Rick and Morty, and tried to write their own episode.

It's not funny. It's not good. This show is dead.

The best decision I ever made was to stop watching, and I'm regretting going back on that so much.
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1/10
Zero laughs
14 April 2022
I didn't laugh a single time. Why was this made?

I will never watch this again. Fire all the writers responsible. And stop hiring people because of their genitals.
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2/10
People hated this
14 April 2022
Remember how much people loved the President Vs Rick episode of season three?

Me neither. But this episode made it seem like a masterpiece.

This was so bad and so unfunny. I'm struggling to comprehend how bad this episode was. How is it nobody responsible said anything? Someone could have stopped this.
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Rick and Morty: Rickdependence Spray (2021)
Season 5, Episode 4
2/10
I was right to stop watching
14 April 2022
I quit season five shortly after it came out because it was so bad, but decided to give it another chance.

I think this is what happens when you get feminist female writers who don't understand how humour works.

If your target audience is feminist women below the age of 23 then some of the jokes in this episode might have landed.

The writing has been on the wall for some time. The continual references that are straight out of an American women's studies liberal arts college...

I don't think Justin Roiland hates success; I think he sold out and the money is sweet.
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Lost in Space (2018–2021)
2/10
Everything you'd expect from a Netflix reboot
8 April 2022
I gave it a try. But I had no desire to watch episode 2 after seeing the first. Maybe it gets better, but I doubt it. I give it an extra star for the beautiful landscapes and special effects.

Like everything Netflix makes, and everything Hollywood makes in general, Lost in Space is a box ticking exercise, and I don't just mean the predictable casting.

Every family is inexplicably multi-racial. Check. (it's always a mixed race black woman for some reason, they are flavour of the month currently).

Women are always extremely intelligent, brave, capable and strong characters whereas male characters are cowards and make mistakes. Check.

Flashy CGI. Check.

Hollow attempts to create tension which fail. Check. A lot of them are just exhibitions of how strong and intelligent women are and don't feel like anyone is really in danger. The lack of set up to make you care about the characters doesn't help.

Here's an example of how bad the characters and writing and acting are: I didn't even realise the family on earth was the same as the one in space until about half way through.

Really I suppose the biggest failures of Netflix's Lost in Space are the script, acting and direction. I don't care about the wokeness if it was actually good. But these characters have no rapport; they do not seem like a real family. I am not gripped or intrigued. I forced myself to finish the first episode.

What reason is there to continue watching a slow-paced show with fake tension and empty relationships? I literally do not care what happens to them so stopped after the first episode.

I will add a caveat that it's possible the show gets better, but I will never know since the pilot was so bad.
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7/10
Fun and watchable
6 April 2022
I would probably give this 6 or 6.5, but I bumped it up because sci-fi and time travel movies are usually underrated.

It starts out fun. Most of the dialogue and humour rides on Ryan Reynolds playing his Deadpool-style character that he always does now.

The movie takes a nosedive when Zoe Saldana appears, but thankfully that section isn't too long. It improves when Mark Ruffalo arrives and comes to a heartwarming conclusion.

It's nothing groundbreaking; it basically treads a familiar ground trod by most movies aimed at a young audience nowadays but I appreciate the fact it's not another sequel or remake. They've at least tried to make something new instead of cashing in on an established name.
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Extras: Chris Martin (2006)
Season 2, Episode 4
7/10
Cringing
13 February 2022
For me this episode just went too far with the awkwardness. It was more awkward than funny. I felt so uncomfortable watching it. It was still good, but... it was just too much.
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South Park: Pajama Day (2022)
Season 25, Episode 1
4/10
I'm really confused
7 February 2022
Were pyjamas meant to be an allegory for masks? It just didn't really work, did it? It didn't make any sense. I felt so confused with this episode. The plot went nowhere. It had a really long song that wasn't very good and was sung twice.

I honestly don't know what they were thinking here. At first I thought it was a regular episode of South Park like the old days, an apolitical one. But it seemed to be about nothing at all, with the most tenuous link to masks? I'm really trying to work it out, because it wasn't very funny.

Maybe pyjama day is a big deal in the US and I just don't understand the cultural context and I'm trying to read too much into it.

I hope this is just their way of seguing (very badly) from the specials, which I liked, into normal episodes.
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