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Reviews
Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)
Knees up horror! Bring it on.
Generally anything with "Knees Up Mother Brown" in it would send me behind the sofa but a film with this title lets you know what is coming. Even the "knees up" scene is survivable with a crucifix in hand.
The title is most of the plot with a bunch of chancers robbing a bank to save their relative's old people's home from developers complicated by a local zombie apocalypse. It's not Millwall so people notice.
I expected the ambition to meet the budget but this film actually cares about most of its non-zombie characters in the way the "Zombieland" movies do. It not as smart but it is as appropriately zany. The Richard Briars does slasher victim scene is almost as funny as the idea behind it. Comparable with Father Dougal, the milk float and the cardboard boxes of death thrill ride.
The director is German but like Shaun of the Dead most of its humour is traditional British character based comedy expertly performed by the cast. I'd give "Greg" his own movie. I'd also nominate this film for my own "sexiest zombies" award.
It is one of the more sentimental zombie movies but that's Cockneys for ya. Its full of energy too and well worth a watch.
The Rebel (1961)
Maybe the joke is on us?
Galton and Simpson seemed to be enthralled by the gap between what a self-possessed person thinks their life should be like and the fact that most of us have no great (or any) talent. It is not surprising that their comedy does not sit well with someone who thinks they live in a land of opportunity. The joke is that most of us have to fail and so it is only those who do not aspire to "success" that stand much chance of fulfilment. Maybe the reason women tend not to find Hancock's work funny is that this strikes them as a truism. Maybe that is also one of the reasons why Hancock dumped the writers. Too close to home. Nothing else he did compares to his work with them. This is their masterpiece.
Uncle Peckerhead (2020)
5 desperate minutes
The 1st 5 minutes of this movie really live down to your worst no budget indie horror fears but then it really comes alive. The main characters are engagingly low octane slow burners and the (excellent) band explore the Faustian pact success in music often demands. Talent just isn't enough, punk's not fair either but this is what might happen when you give the benefit of the doubt when you know you shouldn't. If you like noisy guitars that are definitely not heavy metal it really is worth sticking with this film.
The Man Who Wouldn't Talk (1958)
Totally implausible and a waste of talent
It is a tribute to Anna Negle that it was possible to suspend disbelief at all during the film. We are expected to accept the Crown introducing an hysterical prostitute as a surprise (it certainly would have been) witness when the jury was already convicted of the guilt of the accused. To no one's surprise the defence demand to visit the prositutes flat to check her evidence. THe witness hasn't bothered to do anything about the bullet hole in her bedroom window or the bullet embedded in her wall which turns the case. Even more miraculously the jury then claim to have heard enough evidence to stop the case before the accused has to reveal that he was on a secret CIA mission, as they do. I started watching the film because the cast had a gravitas which was totally at odds with the preposterous plot. In the end the movie is just risible. Please don't waste your time by watching.
Devils of Darkness (1965)
Goes downhill after the stuffed bat
I think they hired the rest of the cast to make the bat look more convincing. Worth watching if only to see the hero mince across the graveyard at the end. The only scary thing about this movie is that the people in it didn't have something better to do.