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AztecQueen2000
Reviews
When Do We Eat? (2005)
When do we laugh?
Ah, Passover! The holiday that nearly every Jewish family celebrates in one form or another--including, unfortunately, the Stuckmans. The characters are a silly mishmash of stereotypes--the paranoid Holocaust survivor, the neurotic, money-obsessed uber-assimilated (Dad makes Christmas ornaments), the neurotic, resentful Jewish mother, the "born-again" schnorring Hasid brother (whose ethics are less than sterling when it comes to his mom's glamorous cousin), the slut sister, the resentful lesbian half-sister and her black lover, and just for kicks, the secular, anti-religion Israeli guest . Add in the junkie, the idiot savant (more savant than idiot) and a tab of Ecstasy slipped into Dad's antacid, and we're on a strange, unenlightening trip through flashbacks and hallucinations that will leave you checking your watch long before the meal is served. The Four Questions, Stuckman-style 1. Who were the three bearded dudes supposed to represent? 2. Was it necessary for the black character to bring in Jesus every fifth scene? If the Hasisdic brother could bring his own mezuzah, why didn't he just bring the matzah? 4. And, last but not least, why did the "world's fastest Seder" feel longer than the whole eight-day holiday?
A Price Above Rubies (1998)
Who wrote this dreck?
OK, admittedly as an Orthodox woman who LIVES in Boro Park, I'm going to be a little biased against this film. However, it seemed that Boaz Yakin's sole purpose in making this film was Orthodox-bashing. With our wigs, modest attire, and separate seating, we're a pretty easy target already. Yakin never made it past the surface. The result is a film with more holes than Swiss cheese: 1. Yosi tells Sonia off for loving him more than G-d or their parents. Then he deliberately defies his father's order that he not go swimming because of his poor health. 2. Sonia flips out at her son's bris. Why would a Hasidic woman from Monsey have such a strong reaction? It's hard to believe that she never attended one before. Let's face it, even Reform Jews hold bris milah ceremonies nowadays. 3. Was Mendel sleeping during his chosson classes? He's supposed to satisfy his wife's passions in bed and refrain from kissing her in the street. Especially in the middle of the busiest street in Boro Park! 4. Sonia and Mendel had to have been married for over a year, and he just now noticed that they were not meant for each other? A little clue--arranged marriage does not mean that the girl has to take the first guy her parents set her up with. Nor will she be shunned by the community if the marriage doesn't work out. 5. If Sonia really wanted to get into the jewelry business that badly, she did not have to go through her lecherous brother-in-law. There are Orthodox female doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. Sonia came off as more whiny than sympathetic. Instead of taking control of her life, she sat back and waited for things to happen, and then complained that she didn't like the outcome. That's not standing up to one's environment; that's pandering to stereotype. Frankly, I think she got what she deserved.
Molly: An American Girl on the Home Front (2006)
Did the screenwriters even READ the series?
I grew up on the American Girl series. So, naturally, I was very excited about the books being re-done as movies. The Molly movie was just terrible, and threw in too much that wasn't in the book. Since the movie took place in 1944, we would expect that Molly would have become long accustomed to the changes that US involvement in WW II brought. Instead, she whines her way through everything. The movie shows a world and a family that managed to pass through 1942 and 1943 relatively untouched. In the books, she was excited about Emily's coming from England to stay with her family. Her father was away in Europe until the very end; he did not "suddenly" decide to enlist. What happened to her stay at summer camp, her troubles with multiplication, or her school's war assistance drive? Moreover, the finale never happened. Molly did not perform in the tap recital--she got sick from trying to curl her hair and sleep on it while it was wet. Can they get much worse? I hope not.
Gypsy (1993)
Can only compare to 1962 film
After seeing both the 1962 version and this one, I'd say each has its own strengths. It's too hard to compare any two Mama Rose's. Each one is working with a different director with a different vision. (To tell the truth, I liked them both.) Actually, the casting issues I had a problem with involved Tessy Tura and Dainty June. While Dainty June was played by a talented actress, she looked more like late thirties than thirteen. Also, Tessy Tura looked way too fresh-faced for a blasé stripper stuck in Wichita. My advice--switch 'em. Truth is, I thought the actresses that played both Louise and June were too old for their roles) Other than that, the 1993 version is better from a technological standpoint (Miss Electra doesn't look like she's wearing Christmas lights) and features all the songs from the original. I liked Bette Midler as Rose. Well-done, but not great.