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The House (2022)
Visually impressive, conceptually interesting, absolutely pointless
With imagery that seems to recall nightmares everyone seems to have at some point, The House is actively engaging and eye-catching. At first.
The movie is actually an anthology with three episodes set in the same house, in different decades and with different types of characters. The first chapter is the best one, with a fully thought-out concept that is clichéd but very effective. The ending is somewhat unsatisfying, leaves the viewer wanting for more in the same way watching a movie trailer does.
The second episode is wayy less effective. Thematically and plot-wise, there seems to be no connection between the episodes. Worse than that, the ideas they seem to have wanted to explore feel only hinted at. After the second episode, I just gave up. Overall, first chapter is worth watching if only for the spooky atmosphere and engaging story. The second chapter destroys whatever promise the first one showed. Having top notch production values does not make up for lack of plot and faulty writing.
[Rec] 4: Apocalipsis (2014)
Does not deserve such bad ratings
If you watch it without the expectations that come from the 2 first installments in this series, you are in for a treat! Very entertaining zombie movie that doesn't reinvent the wheel, but spins it well enough. Plot-wise, it offers a satisfying conclusion to the series while tying all of it together. The tense, claustrophobic atmosphere is there, although the scares - and consequently, the horror - have been reduced. Personally, I appreciate that the found-footage format has been dropped, it did nothing for me except make me nauseated and confused at the action scenes. Acting, effects, make-up and CGI were pretty much spotless. Overall, as someone who has watched almost all zombie movies, ranging from excellent to dumpster fire, I can tell you right now this does. Not. Deserve. The bad ratings.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
Weird and half-baked, but watchable
Many puzzling decisions were made by whoever was directing and producing this movie. First of all, combining the two first games into one movie is not a decision I inherently dislike, but it was not done well. With it, they also destroyed the possibility of making a movie about Nemesis, which is another weird decision. It also means we're watching 10+ characters in a 100 minute movie, which is waaaaay too many characters to develop properly.
I know everyone everyone and their mother complained about the casting, but I honestly do not mind so long as everyone pulls their weight and the characters retain their essence. The latter is not the case here at all. Main character motivations and backstories were changed in ways that did not benefit the storyline at all and, not only that, also made the movie extra confusing and disjointed. Adding to that, they introduce a plethora of subplots and easter eggs that of course could not be developed properly for lack of time. Same with the monsters, they can't really shine because there is too much to do and show in a 100 minute movie combining the storylines of two games. It all just feels super rushed and because of that, confusing. It is such a letdown to hint at very interesting storylines that just could not be developed.
The soundtrack is comprised of another set of bad decisions. The songs are in complete disaccord with the feel of the movie and the scenes. Very puzzling indeed.
The atmosphere and sets, however, were nailed. It feels like a Resident Evil movie in ways that the Paul W. S. Anderson ones did not. There is horror and tension and that sense of dread that permeates the games. The first half of the movie sets everything perfectly, but then it all goes downhill because the runtime is not long enough to develop any of the multiple plotlines introduced. Overall, this is just straight up not a good movie, but I can think of worse ways to kill an hour and a half. At least the first 45 minutes are very good.
Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021)
Disappointing
We've all been waiting anxiously for this, and it is such a let down!
To begin with, the dialogues are very very very awkward and unnatural. Claire and Leon went through what was probably the most significant event of their lives together and formed a bond and then when they meet after a long time without seeing each other, the best they come up with is "what are you doing here"?? And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Most dialogues seem like they were google translated and the line delivery almost gets to being cringy.
The characters also don't act like their videogame counterparts at all. I won't give details because spoilers, but there's a scene where someone chooses to go after the bad guy and essentially risk letting someone they care about die.
The plot is predictable and repeats the same formula we've seen in the cgi movies. Main villain is generic and gets defeated in 2 seconds and then we get another villain whom we don't care about. The new characters that are introduced, except for the american agent in the white house, which seems interesting for future projects, are very forgettable and one-dimensional.
Logic gets thrown out the window several times and there are really no stakes at play in the action scenes.
Also, what's with the lack of representation? I know people get mad when we complain about this, but it's honestly kind of jarring that in the whole tv show there is not a single character of color. I'm a person of color writing this, so we do exist, you know?
Overall, we all had good expectations and were excited to see what a netflix budget could do for the resident evil series, but without good writers, all our hopes are in vain.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
They could've done much more with what they had
There is a very upsetting amount of wasted potential in this movie. For the first time, The Conjuring moved away from the haunted house formula and the Warrens had an "adversary" that - if they had done it right - would have been as "skilled" as they are (I'm trying to avoid spoilers). The acting was great as always and the antagonist was as creepier and more menacing than in the last movie, which in theory escalates the tension.
The problems:
1. Movie was too short - should've been 2h30m long.
2. Narrative focus shifts halfway through.
3. Villain is introduced late in the movie.
4. Scares were not as expertly crafted as in the other two installments.
5. Villain is defeated too easily.
6. We're not given time/backstory to make us care about the potential victims - other than the Warrens. Honestly, I wouldn't even remember their names if someone wasn't screaming them often in the movie.
Overall, it's still worth the watch, but the missed opportunity this represents annoys the viewer.
Fate: The Winx Saga (2021)
Was this made by The CW?
- Dozens of 30 year olds posing as teens who are all extremely beautiful despite coming from different backgrounds
- Info dumping, lots of exposition
- Characters so clichéd you know what their plot lines are gonna be as soon as they appear on screen
- "shy" protagonist who is not like other girls
Is this a CW show?
For real, though, it's teen fluff. It can be very enjoyable if you turn off your brain, but objectively has no redeemable artistic quality.
The Old Guard (2020)
I don't get the bad reviews
The acting was good, CGI too, there was (good!) representation, action scenes were great, so what is the issue here?
Being an action movie, I didn't really expect intricate character development for the bad guys (although I think they did great in that department for the good guys) and I knew, given the premise, that I would need to suspend my disbelief at soem point or the other throughout the course of the movie.
But all in all, it's a very entertaining movie. I wasn't bored at any part nor distracted by character stupidity that is usually common in action movies but was thankfully subtracted from this one. The main cast is very charismatic and I honestly would watch the heck out of it if it was a TV show.
So if you're looking for a more-than-good way to kill 2 hours and be entertained, look no further.
Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich (2020)
Gives the victims the voice they deserve, but doesn't do much else
Starting with the good things, it is amazing and important that the Epstein victims had a chance to tell their stories after being silenced and harassed for so many years.
That being said, the documentary gets you no closer to understanding who Epstein was or even what he did. His activities from 2009 to 2019 are completely ignored without so much as a comment on what happened during this time.
The documentary makers were either inexplicably uninterested in Ghislaine or she is involved with someone powerful enough to silence the producers, because her role in the story is never really explained and what happened to her during unfolding of the case goes unmentioned. I don't even know if she was ever prosecuted or not.
In the end, it becomes very clear that whoever made this documentary is tied to or was silenced by very powerful people, because the victims mention an entire international trafficking operation that involves many uber rich people, yet the producers seem oddly unconcerned with that. It becomes clear throughout the document that hundreds of girls were (and presumably continue to be) molested, trafficked, manipulated and silenced by these "filthy rich" and they are never identified.
There was no victory. Epstein clearly wasn't an exception an he certainly wasn't the only one participating in this. He's simply the unlucky player who happened to fall. And the documentary in no way helps to bring the other pedophiles and abusers to light so they can be held accountable.
Selling Sunset (2019)
Vapid, shallow and brainless. You'll love it!
Don't get me wrong, I do agree that these are some of the most shallow people you will ever see. Their arguments are ridiculous, their vocabulary is comparable to that of a 5 year old and the LA accent? Don't get me started.
They act like they're curing cancer 80% of the time and the charity thing they did was laughable. The dinner afterwards was more expensive than the donation made.
All that being said, it is incredibly entertaining to see the lifestyles of the rich and famous LA realtors and the cattiness that goes on behind the scenes. So you may very well lose a few brain cells along the way, but it will be worth it.
Next in Fashion (2020)
Good, but the rock n' roll episode is atrocious
When dealing with something like Rock n' roll, you're talking about decades of history and entire subcultures. It's a delicate subject. The judges and hosts clearly didn't do their homework and their idea of what constituted rock n roll was almost comically warped - Alexa's tips were straight up offensive and contribute to the persistence of untrue stigmas. They should probably refrain from themes like these on the future. That being said, the rest of the show is very entertaining and watchable. If you're expecting fairness, though, you're not getting it. Some doubles have worked together for years while others met on the show and have completely dissonant styles. With some necessary tweaks here and there, Next In Fashion will be heading down the right path.
The Witcher (2019)
If you're a fan of the books/games, you'll love it. If not, you can skip this one
Before I begin this review, I would like to clarify that I have never read the books or played the games on which this tv show was based. Despite that, I went into it with high expectations, due the praise received by the source material and my personal experiences with the genre. I'm six episodes in, however, and this has been a huge disappointment.
Starting with the good things, the visual effects and acting were pretty solid, as expected. Aside from Cavill's horrible wig, everything production-wise was according to what is expected of a production of this scope and budget.
That is where the compliments end, unfortunately. The plot, to start with, is at times non-existent and at others, incomprehensible either due to poorly written dialogues or to Cavill's low growling (drinking game: take a shot every time Geralt says ''hmmm''). Speaking of dialogue, all of it seems to have been extracted from the game without any editing, so you get these cheesy, clichéd lines delivered in the most unnatural way possible. At some point, me and my sister, whom I was watching this tv show with, made a game of guessing what the characters would say next, in which we were both surprisingly successful. It's also interesting how exposition is simultaneously ineffective to explain the world and delivered in an in-your-face kind of way.
The characters, too, brought nothing new to the table. Geralt's apathetic and brooding mood would make the likes of Edward Cullen envious and his macho atributes are a perfect reflection of a 16 year old's idea of manly. What makes it worse is that he gets virtually no development over the 8 episode season, and soon becomes a very boring protagonist to follow.
Yennefer, who initially was the character I was most interested in, was poorly developed and the actress who portrayed her origin so well seemed to struggle as her story arc unfolded.
Princess Cirilla, on the other hand, was the most boring part of the entire season for me. I simply could not bring myself to care for her at all.
All that said, the biggest problem with The Witcher is the structure. The chronology is so unnecessarily hard to follow and the tone is so uneven you might as well be watching three completely separate shows, one for each of the main characters.
Overall, I would recommend this to fans of the books/games, as they seem to have liked it, 14-16 year old boys who will be delighted at the amount of nude women (7 just in the first episode) and sleeping around that Geralt gets to, and people who are absolute fans of fantasy and have no scruples.
La Mante (2017)
Could have been great, settles for good
La Mante is one of those TV shows that doesn't try to reinvent the wheel, choosing to simply spin it instead. The acting is very good, as is the case in most french dramas. With a few tweaks here and there, better character development and fewer plot inconsistencies, the show could have been one for the books. The serial killer known as ''La Mante'', for example, was severely underused, it is a character we could have sympathized with or maybe admired for her intelligence, but never quite reached her full potential. The same applies to pretty much every other character in the show.
Despite its flaws, La Mante is still perfectly netflixable and if you can overlook all the missed opportunities, very pleasant. Lovers of the genre will certainly not be disappointed.
Joker (2019)
I created an account just to review this movie
I went into this movie skeptical in terms of the hype around it. Now I understand it and I believe it deserves every part of it. The acting was, without exaggerating , the best I've ever seen from a male protagonist. As a literature enthusiast, the plot gave me the same feeling of watching a true literary classic unfold. Artistically, the construction of the scenes was immaculate, with the television reflecting the protagonist's psychological state and the recurring motifs of laughter and media used in the brightest of ways. The political commentary was not only well constructed but also incredibly relevant in our times. If you haven't watched Joker yet, stop whatever you're doing and run to the theater, this one is going down in history!