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johnnyonthespot
Reviews
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Dazzling special effects and a bit more
Many will call this a "mindless action movie", and I don't think that's fair at all. Sure, it has quite a bit of action and not as much thought/story as the first one, but that is done intentionally and by necessity, not laziness on the part of the writers. The 1st Matrix had to introduce the audience to a new and completely foreign world, and thus a lot of explanation was necessary. The end of the 1st one set the stage for the beginning of "the war" and this Matrix is the war in action. This makes perfect sense. Preparation for a war is very cerebral, but once the fighting begins, it becomes a lot less so. But fear not, there is still quite a bit of new information that we learn (most, but not all of which, comes during the final 25 minutes) and I can honestly say that I was anticipating much less story and was happy to be proved wrong. The ending, of course, is not an ending at all, and a number of events that occur at the end can not be fully judged now but will have to wait till the 3rd, when the truth (hopefully) will finally be revealed and we can trace events back in our mind. I would currently rate this film a 9/10, but, like many of the critics have stated, that rating may well change pending the conclusion in November. For now, though, this is an extremely fun sci-fi action film that, while not as smart as the original, is certainly smarter than most films and leaps and bounds above the typical summer blockbuster. Come into it expecting to hate it and you will, but approach it looking to be drawn in and have a good time and you will most definitely not be disappointed.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
As with most series, it's running out of gas
Well, it's definitely not horrible, that much can be said for it. And there are definitely about 5-7 truly hysterical parts, which I guess is reason enough to see it. But there are just as many, if not more, jokes that just fall flat, and often times the characters say unfunny things that are so out of character that they're expected to be funny simply because they're out of character. Also, don't expect any further witty parodies of the Bond series, other than the title character (who pretty much exists solely as an excuse to give the movie its title). Most of the humor now comes from a series of celebrity cameo appearances, rips of modern pop-culture, and a rehashing of previous Powers' jokes (and sometimes all three together). About the only truly original funny pieces involve some misinterpretation of subtitles (though even this is dumbed down unneccesarily). Also, I love Michael Caine, and I think with the right material he can be one of the best comedic actors, but the character he plays has little depth and doesn't give him much to work with, which is a shame.
Overall, you won't be wanting the 90 minutes of your life back, and you probably won't want your money back, but you also will probably not be eagerly anticipating a 4th installment. Myers said before that he'd keep making these as long as people came to see them. Well, I came to see this one, and I'd probably go see the next one, but I still hope he stops.
Boogeymen: The Killer Compilation (2001)
Good - but know what you're getting before you buy
I am an avid horror fan and have always had a fascination with those creatures from the dark that used to deprive me of sleep when I was just a wee tot. Thus it was with great anticipation that I pre-ordered this DVD and my mind reeled with the possibilities of how cool this DVD could be. The verdict: Boogeymen delivers - sort of.
My biggest complaint has to be the length of the feature. 58 minutes. To me that's hardly enough time to do justice to 17 different characters (just over 3 minutes per). And why is it that each character has to be given only one scene. Don't get me wrong, I love cheesy horror movies and cartoonish monsters, but had they given some of the more prolific characters (Freddy, Jason, Pinhead, Leatherface, etc) 2-3 scenes and 6-8 minutes each and cut down some of the filler (Leprechaun, the Ugly, the Dentist) to 2 minutes or so, you'd have had a nice 100-110 minute feature that would have hit on all cylinders. Another small gripe - none of the scenes are widescreen. Also, the atmosphere just didn't do it for me. The scenes are broken up by loud, grungy metal guitar and there's a 3-sentence synopsis of each boogeyman. I think it would have been much better to just have a simple title of the character with soft eerie music in the background (perhaps Tubular Bells). Along those lines, noticeably absent is The Exorcist, Last House on the Left, The Omen, the Evil Dead series, and the Night of the Living Dead series. I realize that they wanted really specific, identifiable boogeymen but come one, who wouldn't rather see the zombies from Dawn of the Dead, or Ash's hand from Evil Dead II instead of The Guardian and The Dentist?
I don't want to give the impression that there isn't much here to enjoy, there is. Robert Englund's commentary is first rate fun (it's particularly gratifying to hear him cringe during a scene from The Dentist). And a lot of the extras are quite entertaining. Still, I was hoping for a DVD that I could throw on every few months or so when I got the horror bug and there were no decent flicks in theatres. So far I've watched it twice (once with the commentary, once without) and I don't see myself watching it more than another 1-2 times in my life. Also, I will echo the sentiments of other comments, this is flick for those that have seen most of these films, as some of the endings are given away. While showing Warwick Davis pogo-sticking a guy to death may not be much of a reveal, showing the end of Texas Chainsaw certainly is.
Bottom line: Lots of fun with a fair share of camp, but not as good as it could have been, so rent it first.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Fun, and that's all you can ask for
This is a popcorn flick, in every sense of the word. I don't understand anyone that would see this film expecting some intricate plot or deep message, they already did that in the first one. This film is just an excuse to get Sam Neill back on the island getting chased by dinos, and what's wrong with that? I feel sorry for all the people that didn't enjoy it, they seem to have lost their flair for movies that are just fun to watch, not to analyze. Usually it's the critics that do this, but this film's actually gotten pretty strong reviews, because they recognize that it accomplishes what it's trying to do. What kind of criticism is it to say that it's not realistic??!!! It's called science-FICTION for a reason. Why you would see a dinosaur picture expecting realism is beyond me. Sure, Dr, Grant is too easily persuaded to go back by the island, but did you really want them to waste 30-45 minutes of the movie coming up with an elaborate way to get him back there that would probably not be any more believable anyway? No, we all know he's gonna end up back there, so just get him there, and that's what they do. Sure it has no character development and they're all one-dimensional, sure the plot is predictable, sure it left the door open for yet another sequel, but so what? If you feel compelled to rip apart this movies flaws (and there are numerous, more than I've mentioned) instead of just enjoying it, then I feel sorry for you.
Ninja the Protector (1986)
Run, do not walk, away from this film
I am an advocate of a category I like to refer to as the "drunken classics". If you want a film to really move you, your selection is severely limited by the few hundred great films that have been made over the years. However, if you're getting drunk before or while you're watching a film, there are literally thousands of terrible, terrible films that become enjoyable where they would otherwise be unwatchable. The prime example of this theory would be the American Ninja Series (I-IV anyway, V is still unwatchable). It was in this mindset that I picked up Ninja:The Protector and I discovered something astounding; the film can actually make time stop. The running time may be listed at 90some minutes but I swear it took a week and a half out of my life. This film is not just terrible. It is terrible, cheesy, low-budget, slow, and although it has such an incredibly innane straight out of Thundercats plot, still manages to be one of the most confusing films I've ever seen. It is my belief that what actually happened was that they took 45 minutes of stock ninja footage together with a reject 70s drama pilot and just stuck them together and put all the money into the box art in the hopes of suckering someone, anyone into renting it. Anyone who sits through this film should have the opportunity to slap anyone that was involved with it, and then be slapped themselves. I know I deserve it. Please, if my only contribution to this world is that I saved one, just one person the pain and agony of this film, my life will have been worth living. Yes, I am that shallow.