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The Punisher (2004)
Let the Punishment Begin
The punisher.....
Hmmmm, I don't even think that words can give justice to what this debacle was as a film. I love the punisher, I've been reading it as one of a select few marvel comics since I was a kid and I wanted to poke my eyes out watching this. First off PG-13 was a horrible Idea, the best punisher work has the Mature ratings on the covers as it is. Second Florida? What the hell was that all about. Punisher is New York, the dark dirty back streets of New York City. Tampa was lame, it was like someone said, "kids like those GTA games and on is based in Florida, Let us cash in on that". Thirdly I couldn't watch the slow boring scenes between the lame fights. I fast forwarded the film to each fight and well, it sucked. I wanted a good punisher film and Dolph Lundgren was in a better one than this. Save yourself the trouble and pay attention to the tag line. The Punishment Begins...
You punish yourself by wasting your life with this crap. Go read the comics.
Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984)
This is the worst thing ever
I cannot warn anyone enough about how bad this film is. I have seen some crap but boy does this thing take the cake. I wanted blood, they refused. I wanted something funny but even this was too cheesy to laugh at. Maybe it was the fact that I wanted to watch a different movie that made me hate this. No, I think the movie itself made me hate it. I was actually surprised anyone else has seen this thing, it is so low budget its funny. If you can find it watch it and know you are witnessing the worst film you may ever see.
The Killer Eye (1999)
This movie is awesome
We happened upon the killer eye at the local video store and boy am I glad it was for sale. My roommate bought this piece of classic cheesy horror for like $3. Thats beside the point, this movie is funny and quite awesome. I consider myself a connoisseur of cheesy films and I'm glad I watched this one. Bad effects, pointless nudity, a guy that reminds us of Beetlejuice or Brad Pitt from 12 monkeys because of his voice and how weird he is. I liked it. It's bad but Bad=Good, sometimes.
Teenage Exorcist (1991)
This movie is so bad it is Good
You can smell the cheese directly from the plot. A good girl goes bad, a bunch of evil is running around and they need a pizza boy to save them. It is well worth watching, very funny and I even own the silly thing. If you like Army of Darkness or Idle Hands then you'll enjoy Teenage Exorcist.
Ozone (1993)
This one is so good
Ozone. Yep, it really is hard to discuss this movie. It is pretty bad, I have seen much worse and I really had fun laughing at it. The film looks like they used a video camera(I really think they did), during a fight the poorly designed prop weapons are switched with ones made of aluminum foil and the silly monster in it is oh so bad. I actually rushed over to my friends house to enjoy this masterpiece of horrible artistic beauty. I don't regret the film and I think you should give it a try if you enjoy really, really, really, really cheesy/poorly made films like me.
Daehyeongchuldo (1982)
It is pretty bad kids
Well I'd have to say that I do own this film and I only like the ending. The movie is boring and slow but the final fight is so funny. Lets just say that if the fake bird didn't attack the main evil guy this movie would be a 0 out of 10. The bird though makes it a 3. If you are truly bored or want something terrible to watch rent this and fast forward to the final battle.