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Anzio (1968)
5/10
Too bad
21 September 2005
It's a shame that the makers of a movie made about one of the bloodiest battles of WWII chose to make a semi-fictional work. The real story is far more gripping than this movie. Anzio was a four month struggle, which for the Allies, had no rear area. There was nowhere an Allied soldier could go that was out of range of German artillery and planes.

The real battle for Anzio was a true Allied effort with the British and Americans locking in a duel to the death with the best German troops Hitler could put in Italy. It was supposed to break the deadlock of the Gustav line by flanking but was doomed from the start because it lacked sufficient landing strength. True, the road to the Rome WAS uncontested on D-Day, but Kesselring himself said later he would have easily cut off and destroyed any such small force if it extended itself even to the Alban Hills, let alone Rome.

The story of the loss of Darby's Rangers is covered in other movies better; of the 767 Rangers sent on a mission, only six returned. It is but one of many stories of horrific sacrifice of young lives. Further south, in a diversionary mission designed to take pressure off the Anzio landing, the US 36th division lost 1600 men in a single night trying to cross the Rapido river. The British took terrible losses, especially in the German offensive of 18-19 Feb 1944, mainly due to their bad luck of being placed in the line in the area in which Hitler personally chose to concentrate the main German offensive, which came within about 1000 yards of breaking the last line of defense.

Such losses are unimaginable today, yet they were accepted then as the price that must be paid to rid Europe of Hitler.

There are no films that I know of that do justice to Anzio. One would be better served by reading any of the numerous books about Anzio or even reading the write-up at http://www.army.mil/cmh/brochures/anzio/72-19.htm -- it is infinitely more interesting than this movie.
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Tommy Boy (1995)
7/10
"That was AWESOME"
28 December 2004
I love this movie, if for no other reason, than to hear Chris Farley utter the above phrase after seeing a "dead" deer thoroughly trash David Spade's GTX convertible.

Other memorable moments include: "Fat guy in a little coat, fat guy in a little coat....." The lifting of David Spade's rug by an engine's fan.

"Well, the next thing you know, money's missing from the dresser and your daughter's knocked up."

Farley and Spade were a terrific duo. Truly a shame that fate intervened.
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Boogie Nights (1997)
1/10
Boogy This
18 December 2004
Some topics don't really need movies made about them--diarrhea and porno movies are two that come to mind. Porno movies are bad enough in that they capitalize on a prurient fascination with copulation. Plots are optional. Semi-porno movies purporting to be *about* porno movies are nothing more than the movie companies trying to cash in on the porno business without tarnishing their name.

I like Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore and Burt Reynolds, but I liked them all better prior to seeing this disgusting mess. Not that they didn't act well; it's just that this is a movie which the world would be a better place had it never been made.

I will give credit to Moore, Reynolds and especially Wahlberg for taking roles that could lead to everlasting embarrassment. Maybe they were broke, I don't know. That would make more sense than the notion that they saw artistic merit in this script.

Maybe the sequel will be Showgirls Boogy Knights?

I rated this a 1 only because there was no zero available.
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Sling Blade (1996)
Best movie I've seen in a long, long time
27 November 2004
Being a naturally negative person, it isn't often that I comment favorably about a movie. In fact, this may be the first time.

Sling Blade is an exceptionally good movie. I found this film to be a thoroughly enjoyable experience from start to finish. There is so much to appreciate here that I almost don't know where to begin--the casting, cinematography, soundtrack, plot, direction and screenplay are all, in my opinion, masterfully done. My attention was riveted from beginning to end with none of the usual Hollywood-mandated machine guns, boobs, or car chases.

I can find no flaw with this movie. After seeing so many turds over the years, I really have no words to describe how utterly refreshing it is to finally see a picture of this quality come from the American Motion Picture Industry.

Thank you Billy Bob Thornton for giving us Sling Blade.
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You'll love this movie IF....
4 July 2004
you like terrible movies, as I do.

What a magnificent waste of talent!! How they managed to get Gene Hackman, Sharon Stone, Russell Crowe, and Leo D to appear in this dog is, in and of itself, worth an Oscar. I can see it..."An now, the winner of this year's Biggest Waste of Acting Talent Award goes to...(tears open envelope)...The Quick and the Dead!" (applause, as producer rises from seat beside silicon beauty to trudge to stage).

What ludicrous concepts. That captive Russell Crowe, when handed a gun and bullet, would not shoot either a.)Gene Hackman, or b.)himself and put an end to his misery.

Escapes from reality? You got it--Bullets punching holes in standing, unmoving people through which daylight(!) shines through one moment, yet the next hit (by the the same gun) causes the person to somersault ass-end-over-tea-kettle backwards.

Trash film buffs will love it!
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Office Space (1999)
This would be a lot funnier if it wasn't true.
25 June 2004
Mike Judge must have worked in an office at one time, because no one could imagine the dreary, mind-numbing horror of cubicalism, let alone direct a film about it. One simply has to experience it first hand.

Everything is there: The coffee-sipping, suspenders-wearing boss, constantly muttering, "Uh, yeah,.........if you could do that, that would be great", the office psycho (Milton), the multiple outside consultants hired to do what a single manager could do by uttering one sentence (if only they could muster the nerve), the degradation of gathering to wish someone you hate "Happy Birthday". These are scenes that are repeated virtually unchanged in every office environment in America, every day.

It is a very funny movie, probably much more so if you are fortunate enough to NOT work in an office.
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You know, Adrian Zmed has awesome hair
14 May 2004
Not a bad movie but I thought James Caan was miscast. I mean, what was with all those goofy faces? He was trying to look sinister and crazy but ended up looking like something had just crawled up his butt. At any rate, he did not come across as a murderer. Gwenneth Paltrow was well suited to her role, but I'm sorry--If I'm riding with someone who's swigging out of a QUART bottle of Jack Daniels while driving, I'm going to make a little more fuss about it than did Meg.

What's this got to do with Adrian Zmed? When you see Meg's husband, you'll understand.

Mmmmm Adrian Zmed....anyone seen Grease II lately?
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Road House (1989)
I thought I'd already bashed this movie once but
14 May 2004
This is possibly the worst film ever made. The only one that competes with if for this distinction is Earthquake. That's OK, though, because I like bad movies, the worse the better. I like Roadhouse a LOT.

Where else can you find a scene in which Swayze wedges a car's accelerator pedal down with a knife, bails out of it (far enough away that the bad guys never suspect that he's not in the car), and yet by the time all exploding car crashed on the lawn, he's already in the house, without a single one of the guards noticing. I LOVE it!!!!

And Brad Wesley's fat slob, Cat-hat wearing henchman, who was only moments before firing a handgun, trying desperately to kill Dalton, gets trapped under a tipped-over stuffed bear, rendering him into nothing the nothing more than a big, cuddly plaything. Apparently so, because no one even mentions arresting him after all the action ceases and the law shows up.

BTW, Dalton supposedly has a PhD...in what? Bouncing?

Yes, it's a classic.
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Kingpin (1996)
Come for the bowling--stay for the hair
23 December 2003
Watch this movie, if for no other reason, than to see Bill Murray's MOACO (Mother of all comb-overs) in the final bowl-a-rama. You can't get your hair done like that at just any old hair salon. No sir. Woody's would ordinarily win the blue ribbon, but in this case is a distant second to Bill's.
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