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Reviews
Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America (2007)
The chapters in this book need not every be repeated!
I had high hopes for this film. I love indie, off the wall, quirky movies...but this was terrible. After 10 minutes I thought I was watching a film made by first year students. I had to turn it off half way through it was so bad.
I'm not sure how watching a guy taking a crap in the woods (yes, you see feces being expelled from his anus), or setting a dog on fire (the dog's coat is ablaze when Dork throws the torch at the pack of wolves), or cutting the heads off chickens, or smashing a fish's head against a rock moved this film ahead or told us anything we couldn't easily imagine ourselves. We get it! They were stranded and they had to do gritty things to survive...there was no need to keep reminding us of this fact scene after scene after scene! Thank goodness there was very little dialog. The musical score was atrocious, poorly cut, and edited. I'm glad I don't get motion sick because the jiggling cinematography was enough to make a fighter pilot vomit. The repeated close-up shots were unnecessary and very distracting.
Please burn this book and all the terrible chapters! This story never needs to be told again.
Miami Vice (2006)
Boring
About an hour into this movie I was ready to fall asleep. This movie could easily have been wrapped up in 90 minutes. It dragged on and on and on and on and on. This probably was due to the early foreshadowing that was as easy to follow as a first grade reader. The action scenes were ho-hum and the plot was so-so. Even the development of the "love interests" were boring. If you were a fan of the original TV series you will be very disappointed by this movie. The only resemblance to the original was the title and name "Sonny Crockett". I'm not sure why they didn't use the name Tubbs. If you are looking for a cure for insomnia, Miami Vice is it.