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mcnuggethell
Reviews
Cover Me: Based on the True Life of an FBI Family (2000)
Utter, absolute garbage
A year ago, the USA network aired what was quite possibly two of its greatest shows. One of them was a series entitled "The War Next Door," a fast paced, sardonic action/comedy romp by the makers of Pete and Pete. It was fresh, it was inventive, and it was literally a laugh a minute. It was also cancelled.
And in another moment where everything I've said about the rubes that make up the tv watching American public was validated, this pure garbage was the show that replaced it, and it thrived in the markets.
Along with everything else that makes up the show, the premise is simple: A husband and wife both work for the FBI. And - GET THIS - their children are their sidekicks! HA HA HA! Watch the hilarity ensue as daughter wears a wire while shopping at the mall! The laffs never stop as the impish little munchkin of a son does FBI stuff - it's funny because he's an "adorable" little kid helping the FBI investigate crime and that doesn't happen in real life! That's every episode in a nutshell, right there.
In a world where "watered down to be corporate sponsorship friendly" beats out "actually entertaining" and the public seems to have a serious jones for insipid, unfunny sitcoms like Suddenly Susan or Friends, I'm not surprised this show gets ratings and critical acclaim. I'm just disgusted. Cover Me is a shallow, trite show whose sole selling point is its "cute" concept. You're either one of the few who dislike that or one of the many who embrace it - if you're the latter I pity you, and if you're the former I pity you even more for having to put up with crap like this that saturates television nowadays.
The Mexican (2001)
Noir wrapped in a heartwarming package in order to fool the stupid
I debated whether or not to see The Mexican, because of its ambiguous advertising - was it a shmaltzy, light hearted romantic comedy piece of garbage aimed at the lowest common denominator of moviegoers, the people who want an insipid piece of celluloid to go "awww" over Julia Roberts? Was it a neo noir flick like I was hoping? Or was it something different altogether?
I broke down and decided to see it, mostly just to finally find out what kind of movie it was exactly, and I walked away with a weird feeling not unlike the one you'd get after seeing a David Lynch flick. Part of it is because I still don't know what the movie was aiming for. It's a neo noir flick, undoubtedly, but it still has that touch of insipid romantic comedy in it. Add cartoonish yet brutal violence to that, and you get something that leaves me confused. The juxtaposition of it all almost made me want to break down and laugh while watching it, but while it had that quality, it didn't have enough of it to make it an unintentional comedy like your average cult shlock action film.
It could have been so much more. We get so few neo noir films today compared to all the other genres they're cranking out by the truckload, and the lack of truth in advertising and lack of focus in the movie itself went a good ways toward ruining this one. Though it's extremely fun to come here and read all these reviews from the plebeians who wanted a "delightful" sugary piece of heart warming Julia Roberts trash. (Ha, go watch Beaches, ya gallery dwellers.)
MADtv (1995)
Successfully marketing bad shows 101
Question: What do you do when you have a sketch based "comedy" show that you want to be the next SNL or Kids In The Hall, yet you have no talent, horrible writers and unbelievably annoying actors?
Answer: Immerse your show in horrendous hip-hop culture since all the kiddies think its cool, and if the teeny boppers like hip hop, obviously they'd be too busy admiring your "down with rap" attitude to notice the show isn't actually funny. If anyone tells you that being funny is, you know, supposed to be the whole POINT, ignore them.
Mad TV is horrible. Horrible. Actors who you want to slap, writers who fall back on being mean spirited since that's easier than producing well written comedy (not that mean spirited humor is bad... it's just bad when writers fall back on it when they don't have the talent to be humorous in general. Which is the case for Mad TV), and a grating atmosphere all around... take every degree of badness that I've impressed upon you in this review, increase it fivefold, and you've got the sheer horrid quality of Mad TV. It's that awful.
In fairness, I guess I should say that the first two seasons or so of Mad were actually better than SNL was at the time - and that says as much about SNL those days as it does Mad, but Mad deserves credit for those seasons. Too bad the good actors left, the writers got better jobs, and Mad TV got such brilliance as the "stupid Asian woman who sounds really annoying" Miss Swan skits and the unwatchable Rusty skits.