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1/10
Let's take some acid, write a script, dupe some people with money and make a meaningless movie.
31 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
No story, no theme, no character development, no continuity. No meaning. Only two hours of computer generated visual effects and gratuitous and meaningless violence. It was a waste of my twenty bucks and two hours I could have spent watching Mattock reruns. It is too bad IMDb won't let me rate it lower than a "1."

If it needs explanation, then the makers didn't do it right.

Oh, there was a brief homage to " 2001, A Space Odyssey" and one to "Lord of the Rings," but I suspect those were accidental.

Spoiler alert: I am never going to eat an everything bagel ever again.
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4/10
It missed the mark...for me
26 June 2022
Film is first and foremost a story-telling medium. Film is at its best when it has straight forward story, strong characters, a linear plot that is easy to follow, and a theme you don't have to search for. If this had any of these, it went over my head.

When people go into an art gallery, there are those who look at the art on the walls and ponder, and (with honest sincerity, or the need to show pretentious artistic knowledge) say, "Hmmm, very deep. It truly moves me." Then there are those who look at it, with head askew, and say "Huh?" I am the latter. I don't know, maybe I am just a landscape and flowers kind of guy. I could never pretend that I understood and liked wine, either. I am more of a coffee guy, with just a little cream and sugar to take the bitter out.

This film seemed slow, drawn out, plodding, and all over the place with unintroduced characters, a story that roamed, and a theme that never penetrated for me. The beautiful cinematography simply could not make for for what it lacked. I had to strain to hear what little dialog there was, I had to strain to see through the persistent darkness, and I had to strain just to understand what it was about. Maybe it was a cultural thing, but when we strive today for a cross-cultural awareness, I felt left behind.

Film as art for art sake has never interested me. I just wondered what the point was, and that question was never answered...for me.
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7/10
The Filmmaker is in there...somewhere
16 September 2021
It passed him by. The great director King Vidor's time is over.

The premise of this little movie is excellent. The execution not so much. You can see the filmmaker inside him, but he has lost his stuff. You can see he knows how to frame a shot, edit a scene, and compose a script. He has forgotten how to make it great.

The film itself has a good message to deliver, but will any one receive the message in this package? It was a painful watch, knowing what had been.

The director of "The Parade," "Duel in the Sun," and "War and Peace" has lost his mojo. Too bad. That said there are things I used to be great at that I can't do any more, either.

The Parade's Gone By.
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10/10
It leans over the amateur rail, nearly falling into the professional ranks.
22 July 2020
I must say it is quite a remarkable little film. Very impressive. I can't quite decide if it is a low budget professional film, or a high budget amateur film. Either way, it is clear that it was a work of passion. The attention to detail was impressive. The filmmaker knew his trade. Interweaving the models with the full size was done very well. Editing was superb. Camera work and effects were well done. I can only imagine what it could have been if it had the proper backing.

Oh, and the score was good, too. Actually, it was superb. The sign of a good score is one that becomes another character of the story, and they did that very well. It was just the right amount of understatement, clearly it was meant purposely not draw attention to itself. Bravo.

Bringing this old film to the attention of the public was a work unto itself, and well worth the effort. This is something to be truly proud of.

Clearly, "The Day the Earth Stood Still" got its inspiration from Mr. Lyford.
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Cloverfield (2008)
2/10
I rated this movie a 4. Then I rolled it to a 3. By the time the end rolled around, I had to lower it to a 2.
23 February 2020
If there were ever a movie with absolutely nothing redeeming about it, this was the one. If you absolutely love movie crap, you need to see this one.

These were two hours that I wish I could recover, but, alas...they are lost...forever. I wish I could say "next time I will know better" but there will be no next time for this one.
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10/10
We may be seeing Branaugh's masterpiece-will anyone take notice?
24 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I have always been a Kenneth Branaugh fan, and in this film he goes beyond anything he has ever put on the screen. I have to wonder, though, why his best work is done as a murder mystery? Nevertheless, it is a true masterpiece. Almost like watching Da Vinci, Picasso, and van Gogh all paint on the same canvass at the same time. Just like any artist, Branaugh paints his film onto the screen, taking the time to make sure every stroke is just right, the colors are true, and the scapes brilliant and alive.

The cinematography is exquisite. From the ever moving camera shooting exteriors from high above, to way below, from rotating around the moving train to fluidly moving and circulating among and around the characters in the cramped space of the train's interior. The magnificent long shots of the train traveling great distances in the dark and snow, to the extreme closeups showing every pour and flaw in the actors' skin (including and especially in the extreme self-aware closeups of Branaugh, himself). The camera sets the tone.

The production design is glorious. The cramped reality of the train's finely finished carved wood interior; the uncomfortable dress and style of the period; the dual images of characters as the camera passes behind the beautifully framed leaded cut glass windows, the dirty and greasy exterior of the train, and the rickety wood trestles it travels over. Even the period Godiva chocolate (can you say "product placement?") was convincing. It is the production design that adds the stark reality of the period, both of its beauty and its ugliness.

The script is so strong and characters are so well cast and well developed that Branaugh really did not need the cinematography, production design, costumes, and makeup to carry the film. He could have directed them on a bare stage and still had a great film. The strength of the story and acting added the depth of light and shadow that only a master artist is able to achieve. The actors were directed with the awareness that only an actor's director can bring to the story. The brushstrokes of a master artist.

In fairness, I will also say that sometimes Branaugh's greatest strength is his greatest weakness. The constantly moving camera gave the film a self-awareness that is actually distracting at times. Most directors are not even aware that the camera can be another character in the film, while others just try to avoid camera movement. Banaugh clearly made it an integral part of the film. I had to work hard to look past that, but once I lost the awareness I was fine.

It is a very beautiful film. And it is just a murder mystery. Why was his greatest film to date a murder mystery? That goes to the heart of why the film will probably not win any awards and will get very little recognition.

It was just a murder mystery. And I can't wait to see the sequel.
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Star Trek: Discovery (2017–2024)
3/10
I watched the first episode.
24 November 2017
I probably won't watch any more.

The producers and director forgot a basic tenant of capturing and keeping an audience: story and characters come before special effects. You can have the greatest effects in the world, but if you story isn't compelling, and your characters lack depth, the audience will go away.

The original series understood that. TNG understood that. Hell, even DS9 and Voyager understood that. Strength comes from the story lines, not the effects.

Hey, maybe the second episode is better, but asking me to pay 9 bucks a month just to find out...there is other and better media around that won't cost me more money. So I am going to spend the 9 bucks at Starbucks and watch something else...until they release it on the CW.
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9/10
There are strengths and weaknesses
4 September 2017
In the theater "expository" is when the actor talks to the audience. It is sometimes necessary to further the play, but is generally thought to be a weakness of writing. In the case of film, it should be absolutely unnecessary. As a visual medium, any expository should be easily handled by the visuals. When it is used, it is a sure sign that the screenwriter (and by extension, the director) just couldn't find a way to express it any other way except having the actors talk to (or at) the audience.

In the case of "It's a Wonderful Life" the Angels talk to the audience and it works, moving the story forward. In "The Night of the Hunter" it fails miserably. The morality tale should be carried by the story, not by bible verses directed to the audience.

Another form of expository is when the camera is used to show the passage of time or distance, usually through montage. Hitchcock was a master of the visual montage. His technique is crisp and sharp. Other masters of the visual montage are Orson Welles, John Ford, Wes Anderson, and Steven Spielberg. Unfortunately Laughton's visual montages were slow and plodding, using animals in the foreground of the scene to show the passage of distance. It was a good thought, but it didn't work.

Laughton was troubled that his first directorial attempt was a box office and critical failure, and he never directed again. That is a shame, because in spite of these weaknesses, most first time directors have failings and they get better over time. Laughton clearly had directorial chops. He just needed more experience.

There are many directorial "one-hit-wonders." First attempts are great, and everything after that fails. There have many many actors who turned director. Some failed, and some succeeded.

Laughton showed so much potential as a director. There was so much to be proud of, that he could have overcome the weaknesses in later films, chalking it up to a learning experience.

The camera work was, at times, exquisite. When the actors were not lined up across the screen (a directorial weakness), he moved them in and out of the foreground and frame (a strength) with the grace of a veteran. The lighting was masterful. Transition between night and day, and the use of light and shadow showed that Laughton had skill.

The story that the script is based on is one of the films great strengths, but one of the great weaknesses was the script. Stilted and unnatural dialogue held the cast and director back. The expository, that I mentioned earlier, is something that is used with great effectiveness in a novel, where expository is how things get explained, talking in the third person directly to the reader. James Agee, the script writer, was a novelist. This explains why expository happened. Clearly they should have put the script in the hands of a seasoned screen writer, so the director and actors would have had better substance to work with.

Now, let's really get positive. The characters in the story were strong, and the casting backed that up with strong, exceptional performances. Clearly Laughton could have been regarded as an actor's director. He knew what the actors needed from him. As an actor, he possessed natural skill, and was backed by directorial masters. He learned these lessons well, and directed his actors with the skill of a veteran.

Mitchum, Winters, and particularly Gish turned in performances that absolutely saved the film and turned it into a film well worth watching. When the script didn't get in the way, the supporting cast was also very good.

I am not a big fan of Robert Mitchum, but when he plays evil, it is truly evil. Between this performance and "Cape Fear" I could say that Mitchum (along with perhaps Lon Chaney and Lee Marvin) may be one of the most evil actors ever.

Two time Oscar winner, Shelley Winters plays the weak and vulnerable mother. She is emotionally and (sometimes) physically beat down. You can see her try to maintain dignity when she is told she is unworthy. The conflict in her weighs heavily. She tries to hold her head high, but just cannot keep it up for very long. Winters masterfully delivers. She may be the most sympathetic character in the film.

Lillian Gish. Ah, Miss Lillian. La Gish. Maybe the greatest actress we have ever had. From the time she comes on the screen, she dominates and the whole tone changes. Even Mitchum cannot keep up with her-it becomes her film. She has a strength and a softness that she brings to every role. If you ever get a chance to see "Broken Blossoms," "Orphans of the Storm," "Way Down East," or "The Wind" take the time.

Film acting is, in all cases, in the eyes. It is the eyes that project what is going on in the soul and the mind of the character. Gish is a master of using her eyes to convey what is inside. (There are a very few actors that effectively do this.) If Gish never smiled, never frowned or grimaced, never used her body to convey anything, it would be fine. She acts from her eyes. Her smiles and grimaces are delivered by her eyes. When she looks at someone, she really sees them. She looks inside them. There is an understanding that is conveyed by the way she sees. There is really no acting involved...she is being.

This is really a film worth seeing. You should let go of the weaknesses, and focus in on the strengths. In spite of everything, you will not be disappointed. I gave it a 9 out of 10.
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Kitty Foyle (1940)
6/10
A little disappointed.
2 September 2017
I have heard of this movie all my life. At age 65 I finally took the time to see it.

After all the build up I guess I am a little disappointed, what with the Oscar, and all. Guess I was expecting something hard boiled like Stella Dallas or Mildred Pierce. Instead I got Danielle Steele.

Given the Oscar competition that year, it is a mystery how this performance was rated above the rest. I can only figure it was because it was so far out of the box for Rogers, because the performance, viewed objectively, was certainly not better than the rest. It was more like Judy Garland, in the Wizard of Oz, than Bette Davis in Jezebel.

The Trumbo script was draining. Trumbo was always hot and cold. This one was chilly.

Dennis Morgan and James Craig were tepid, sappy. I guess by comparison, Rogers performance gleamed, which ain't sayin' much.

Sam Wood's direction was, for the most part, flat. Actors lined up across the set, like furniture. It lacked depth of character as well as depth of set and depth of focus. Flat, flat, flat.

However, Robert De Grasse's cinematography was quite remarkable. Everything was well lit (maybe over lit)and, more importantly, well shadowed to represent the darkness of the story.

In a few years I will have to give it another try, but for now, I move on.
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5/10
There is a reason you've never heard of this movie
2 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
It is not very good.

Pretty corny white bread movie about morals in a Smalltown, USA. Even for its time it was out of date. The comparisons others make with "Peyton Place" aren't even close. Even if those were the morals of the day (and I am not sure they were), it is weak and overdone.

Starring Sandra Dee and John Saxon, it is pretty clear why neither of them had much of a career. The talent is just lacking.

The directing (by first timer in America Helmut Käutner) is so weak and schmaltzy you have to wonder what the film could have been in the hands of a Wyler or a Wise or a Capra. As a weak, black and white film in 1958, it just smells of Universal cutting corners as a trial vehicle for their new contract player, Sandra Dee. You have to wonder what could have been.

The saving graces of this movie are the sub-par performance of a couple of otherwise great actors: Teresa Wright and James Whitmore. Weak by their usual standards, but the best the movie had to offer. Better to spend your time with any other Teresa Wright or James Whitmore movie.

You will never get your 90 minutes back.
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4/10
Hey, gang. Let's make a movie and see how much money we can make.
29 May 2017
Let's have some great fight scenes and string them together with the old familiar actors, and see if we can fool everyone into thinking its a good movie.

What do you mean "stay true to the story?" We have to stretch one novel onto three really long movies. We've got all these great sets and great costumes and props and what not. We gotta use 'em. We'll tell them it's good, they gotta believe us.

We'll reuse all of the old special effects. If they worked before they should work again. These fans will buy anything. They are so easy to fool.

When we are done, what movie do you want to make next?
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Inferno (I) (2016)
4/10
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. Tom, Tom, Tom.
29 October 2016
What a horrible mess of a movie. Over produced, over directed, sloppily edited. Poor dialog, over-acted.

Look, Ron Howard is only a fair director, at best. Tom Hanks is a milk toast of an actor. Together they do marginal films, the best of which was Apollo 13. But this one was a low point for both.

Howard, fascinated with effects and technology left Hanks to his own devices (as, I understand he is want to do with actors) and Hanks failed as a self-director (recently saw "Sully," in which Eastwood left Hanks to direct himself-with very good results). The never ending scrunching up of Hanks face was irritating, and the digital closeups brought out every pour in his face.

Howard kept the camera constantly moving, irritatingly moving. And the edits were so fast and furious, it was impossible to focus long enough to understand the action. The plot was so thin and the characters so underdeveloped one has to wonder if all the effects and technology were used as a cover for the other deficits.

The single high point was Sidse Babett Knudsen as Elizabeth. And that because every other character was so superficial that she appeared deep.

Another irritating point was the use of stereotypical villains. Couldn't they be a little original?

All in all, it was two hours I can never get back. When the fourth in the series is released, I will turn on a Beverly Hillbillies rerun instead.
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3/10
Mr Jackson, sir: you left me wanting...not in a good way. ***SPOILER ALERT***
29 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Dear Peter Jackson;

Call me old fashioned.

When I watch a movie (read a book, listen to a song, etc.) I have an expectation that there will actually be an ending. You did that with the LOTR trilogy, and with the first Hobbit movie. But this one...it didn't end. It just stopped.

I actually stood up in the theater when the screen went black and let out a scream: "Noooooooooo."

OK, granted. It is hard to turn a single novel into a movie trilogy. That was the advantage you had with LOTR. Each book had it's own conclusion written by a master story teller. Three independent stories. So, given that, maybe you shouldn't have tried to turn one rather average length novel into three more-than-full-length feature films. You were bound to have problems stretching it that far.

But to end it where it did. Really, Peter? This isn't TV. This isn't a season ending cliff hanger. It is a feature film. It needs an ending in order to satisfy your audience.

One problem with Hollywood-from its beginning-is the inability to end a story. Screen writers have always had this trouble. Novelists always seem to end their stories well, why can't screen writers?

There would have several logical places to end it. The most logical would have been when we first saw Smaug. Smaug opens his eyes, we see the look on Bilbo's face followed by a teaser. Another logical place to end would be after the killing of Smaug, which we know is coming (and who is going to kill him). There would have been cheering and a happy ending, and perhaps a teaser about what was coming next. Even during the battle when it is unclear whether Smaug or the people will win.

But that didn't happen.

But it just stopped.

Stopped.

No ending.

I'll give you credit where it is due. The production design was beautiful, the green screen was as expertly accomplished as we have come to expect from you. The characters were very well developed-particularly Thorin and Balin and Kili. They came a long was since the first film and all the characters had a greater depth, perhaps more than Mr. Tolkien had conceived. Character prosthetics were absolutely gorgeous.

The effects were a bit over the top but you did have a lot of time to fill, so I will give you a pass on that. We kind of expect that now. But my feeling here is that just because you can, does not mean you should.

As for the story-with a strong story from a master story teller you had more meat on the bones than most film makers. Who could lose?

In fact, Peter, you had me absolutely hooked. I was right there (suspending disbelief when I needed to), feeling the tension build, feeling sympathy for the good guys and hatred for the bad guys. Tension during the epic battles-Orcs vs. the world, Gandalf vs. Sauron. Tension when Bilbo is discovered by Smaug. Very well executed.

But you absolutely lost me when Smaug delivered the last line and the screen went black.

Naughty, naughty Peter Jackson. That is no way to treat an audience. You did not give us the respect that we are due. It was just crassness, plain and simple, obvious that you were milking the story for the money. You forgot our needs. Naughty, naughty.

My prediction: you will end up losing between one third and one half your audience for the final film...all because you stopped the story abruptly, instead of giving the story a resolution-an ending, and the respect for the audience that we deserve.
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Avatar (2009)
7/10
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
25 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
First, it was great to see Ripley back on the screen, wasn't it?

The Good: It was a simply spectacular film from an artist and technical perspective. Cameron has driving the animation art way forward. Avatar will most likely be nominated for and win in a variety of categories: special effects, art direction, music...perhaps direction and best picture. I imagine we will see many more 3D movies in the future, this is only the beginning.

The Bad: One category it won't win for is writing. The plot is thin (but who needs plot, right?). The characters were stereotypical, just another Cowboys and Indians story from the Indians' perspective with the Cowboys as the bad guys. The ecological theme was weak and trite, at best.

The Ugly: Why was Humanity portrayed at it's worst? We, as the human race, was portrayed as a bunch of thugs who destroy everything in it's path for monetary gain. OK, OK, I understand that the race has a dark history of destruction, particularly western civilization and it's conquest of the third world, and Americans in particular in it's conquest of the native tribes. We all know these stories. If it was portrayed as though it were just a few rogues out for selfish gain, I would have no problem with that. It could have been resolved by taking out the thugs. But couldn't we, just for once, see humanity at it's BEST? Couldn't Cameron have portrayed us as being inherently good with the desire to do right by cultures and places we don't understand? Couldn't we, the human race, been part of the solution, not the entire problem? Couldn't that have been done and still achieved the drama and conflict that film needs to drive the story forward? As a viewer, I really wanted to feel like I was a good guy, not a bad guy.

I guess that when we understand that James Cameron's primary objective was simply to make as much money as possible, then the rest actually makes sense. Hollywood, as personified by Cameron, will destroy everything in it's path to achieve the money goal. Even if it means sacrificing our Humanity in the process.
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7/10
It almost got there (mild spoilers)
4 September 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I can't help but feel that if we (my wife, son, and I) had not read the book that we would have been totally lost. I imagine that those seeing the film without first reading the book wouldn't have been able to follow it.

The problem is the difficulty in conveying a very deep spiritual concept without too much (boring) dialog, and to their credit, they did not do that. But that might have been the film's great weakness, as well as its great strength. How do they convey the Insights in a filmic way when words and pictures just don't do them justice? How, in the course of 90 minutes can one grasp their depth when it really takes a lifetime to understand and absorb them?

The film style itself had the feel of a TV movie done in wide screen. The direction was a little choppy, the editing uneven. The cinematography bordered on greatness but lacked a crispness. The film stock was grainy, which prevented them from reaching a particular goal: a "brilliance" that would have added to 3 key elements: 1) the beautiful vistas were muted in color and did not "pop" they way they should have, 2) depth of field would have added an element of "clarity (both spiritual and filmic) if the foregrounds and backgrounds could have been kept in focus at the same time, and 3) the "vibrations" that caused them to be invisible and the "glow" when the "got it" could have been better if there was greater contrast against regular "sight."

OK. Now that that is said, it really was entertaining. True to the novel there was plenty of action that kept the viewer interested, the acting was very bold, the characters were well developed, and the story was well paced. The acting was good, especially the great Portugese actor Joaquim de Almeida as Father Sanchez, and Obba Babatundé as Miguel.

I gave this film a vote of 7/10, meaning it was above average and one I would recommend to others, but not until they have read the book.

When we saw it, it was playing in only one theater in all of Southern California, so you may have to wait until the DVD comes out. Be sure to pick up the book first.
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5/10
Mediocre, at best
1 January 2006
Maybe a thoughtful concept, but the execution was mediocre at best. The direction was stiff, the script overly sentimental, and the players over-acted by a country mile. The dialog was out of a Hallmark greeting card--sappy and affectatious. Tremendous dramatic license was obviously taken.

I really had difficulty finding anything redeeming about it, and my vote (of 5) was generous, to say the least.

Made by Warners, surely they could have turned the idea over to their script department and given it some real flesh--the idea really deserves to be a feature length film as the story is one we are familiar with, and the characters are historical. Perhaps in the hands of MGM or Paramount, who had a much better sense of history, it could have had more merit.
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King Kong (2005)
5/10
I just could not suspend that much disbelief!
18 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I agree with most of you that the effects were spectacular, but judging a film on this single criterion makes one a shallow viewer. You must judge the story on its completeness, the characters must be judged for their depth and believability (and yes, I found Kong to be a believable character, but found most of the others to be very shallow, indeed). The cinematography was interesting but typical of modern films, the costumes not correct for the period, same with the hairstyles. The New York exteriors were contrived, and some obviously shot on the Universal back lot.

As I sit and think hard about the film I am having trouble finding anything very positive to say about it, except the special effects. The Kong character was spectacular, but the rest of the effects were no better than Jurassic Park's effects, especially given the advancements in CG technology over the last 12 years.

That said, I could have overlooked any shortcoming if one major flaw did not exist.

A film must be believable on certain levels, in order to get me to suspend my disbelief on other levels. There must be enough believable elements for me to see through the obviously unbelievable ones. This film failed in a major way in inevitability, and I'm not referring to the Kong character.

Some examples: How did the main characters constantly elude death at every turn, when it was clearly obvious that they should have died many times over? How did seven men get Kong into the boat? How did they keep him subdued on the voyage, and indeed right up through the curtain going up in the theater? Why weren't Ann's hands ripped off (or at least her wrists broken) when Kong ripped her from her rope bindings when he first took her? That must have hurt! Why weren't Ann's feet cut to shreds as she ran through the jungle? Why didn't Ann get dirty and her dress rip to shreds during her ordeal in the jungle? Why did her hair stay nice and neat and her dress stay clean and white? How did she end up with only a minor facial scratch after being thrown around the jungle over and over? Why didn't Ann's skull get bashed in, or her brain jarred loose as Kong swung her violently during her capture and the scenes with the T-Rex.

How could Carl, and other men survive a fall from such a great height when Kong knocked them off the log? Why weren't they crushed to death as the log came tumbling down on top of them? Why didn't Jack and Carl and the others get absolutely crushed to death by the dinosaurs as the beasts overtook them running through the jungle? Why didn't they get crushed to death as 10 or 12 dinosaurs all fell down all at once on top of them? Why wasn't everyone dead by this point in the film? Why wasn't Jack hit by a single bullet fired by Jimmy, even though every spider swarming over Jack's body was blown to smithereens, as untrained Jimmy fired blindly with his eyes shut? Why didn't the bats kill Jack and Ann, even as Kong was swarmed and mauled by them? Why didn't Jack get the least bit hurt when Kong flipped the taxi he was driving 20 feet into the air, doing a 360 and crushing the vehicle? Why didn't Ann freeze her @ss off when she met Kong in skimpy attire in the middle of winter in NYC? Why didn't Ann freeze when she and Kong were ice skating? Where did all the people go during the Central Park scene? Why weren't they running around screaming, trying to save their lives? Where did they all disappear to? Why would anyone in his or her right mind climb to the top of the Empire State Building, even for love (I was squeamish even in the comfort of my theater seat)? Why would any woman kiss Adrien Brody on top of the Empire State Building after having had such a great relationship with a real man, King Kong? This represents only a few of the unbelievable elements.

At every turn in this film the unbelievable overwhelmed the believable. It would have been very easy to not go so far over the top, tone back just a little, so the suspension of disbelief could have been as natural in this remake as it was in the original.

The sunrise and sunset scenes were quite nice. At least I found something good to say.
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Caveman (1981)
1/10
Put this on your "Must Avoid" List
18 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Bad acting couldn't save it. Bad directing couldn't save it. Bad script couldn't save it. The venerable Jack Gilford couldn't save it. Neither could Shelly Long or Dennis Quaid. It's only saving grace is that it didn't take itself seriously at all, and that's why I gave it a 1 instead of a zero (oh, that's right, you can't rate a movie as a zero).

The best part was the prequel to Midget Bowling: Midget Flinging. Not to mention Dung Flopping.

Ringo should have brought his drums and at least kept us a little entertained for a while.

Not the worst movie of all time--that distinction still belongs to "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist," but its right down there with the worst of them. Next time you are tempted to watch this, throw your old copy of "The Slumber Party Massacre" into the tape player and really enjoy yourself.
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4/10
Jarmusch Missed: possible Spoiler
29 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Several things bothered me about this film.

I wasn't sure if Bill Murray's Don Johnston was directed to be stiff and uncomfortable, in which case Jarmusch is a directing genius, or if Murray just got no direction, and as a result was stiff and uncomfortable with himself. I suspect the latter, because several other aspects of the film just missed.

At first, scene transitions were smooth a flowing, with the score providing the continuity between scenes. The title sequence and the opening scene were actually quite beautiful with a nice flow, and a long traveling shot providing the setup. Very nicely done. But not long after the beginning, transitions were just mundane fade to black, fade up with the music fading down then up with the picture. Dream sequences were the usual fade to white. Very amateurish. Almost as though two different cinematographers shot the film.

Everything about this film seemed uncomfortable. The characters were uncomfortable, the situations were uncomfortable, the filming style uncomfortable. As well the camera was too obvious--as though it were another character, not an invisible observer, moving when it should be still, and staying still when it should be moving.

This was a perfect opportunity for Jarmusch to do a real character study. Potentially great story with characters that could really be developed. Unfortunately the script fell short. The story was shallow and superficial, and the characters grossly under developed. When the story called for depth of character, the actors stood silently with blank stares. Now, silence can convey a great deal, but in this case it was not the "sounds of silence." It was just silence. A look, a slight movement, a breath can convey depth, during silence. These actors stood silently.

Two bright spots were two young ladies, Alexis Dziena and Pell James, who were bright and bubbly. Otherwise the actors were plain and dull, including Sharon Stone and Jessica Lange. Seemed like they were there for the pay check.

*(Here is the spoiler).

As for the ending…the film just stopped. It didn't end. It stopped. Call me old fashioned, but I like resolution. I wasn't expecting Murray's character to find his son, or even find out that he didn't have a son. That would not be necessary to provide an ending. But Murray's blank stare didn't convey what was going on in his mind. The film just stopped. A deep breathe, a tear in his eye, a raise of his hand in recognition of the boy in the car. Anything. But nothing. Nothing.

It just stopped.

And Jarmusch had the gall to "sign" the film (his credits came after the film, instead of before—a la Spielberg).

This is the second Jarmusch film I've seen, the other being "Dead Man," which I really liked. So now I must see a third to tell which one is the fluke.
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9/10
Beautifully Quirky
31 July 2005
The first thing I have to ask is "Can anybody really be that nerdy?" Once I accepted the fact that the characters are way over the top stereotypes, and suspended my disbelief, I found the film very funny and quite cute.

We always want to root for the underdog, and this cast is full of them from top to bottom. Do we see something of ourselves in them? Maybe. Even the oddest or the grossest characters come off somehow lovable. It is especially good to know that even the strangest boy can still get even the oddest girl--after all it is a love story, isn't it?

I'm sure the people of Preston, Idaho take issue with the portrayal of their little town as full of oddballs, but I understand that they have actually come to embrace the notoriety the film has brought them and held a Napoleon Dynamite festival this past spring.

Well acted, well written, and well directed, not to mention beautiful cinematography.

My son made me watch this movie with him--and I'm glad he did!
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3/10
An instant classic-only kidding!!!
30 July 2005
A pretty bad remake of a pretty bad original. The only thing shining about ithis film is Billy Bob, who does his usual outstanding job. Greg Kinnear is a poor replacement for Vic Morrow, who was a very mean man. Marcia Gay Harden is way over the top--too bad because I usually like her. Sammi Kane Kraft (in the Tatum O'Neal role) is a great ball player but not much of an actress. Must have been hired for her pitching talent.

The script pretty much sucks. Not nearly as cleaver as the original. The directing was mediocre, as was most everything else about this film.

Pretty much a film to avoid.
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8/10
What a lot of FUN!
28 July 2005
My son made me watch this camp take-off, and I'm glad he did.

A wonderfully funny homage to George Romero, its got more zombies, blood, and gore than any movie I've ever seen. Though thin on plot, it's a well written and well directed film, more than could be said for any of Romero's films. Great cinematography with long traveling shots, well developed characters (and I do mean characters) and a very subtle build up to the introduction to the first Zombies (though we all know its coming).

If you are looking for some good, bloody fun and are a fan of camp, check out Shaun of the dead.
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Godzilla (I) (1998)
1/10
What a piece of Junk!!!
16 July 2005
Matthew Broderick and Hank Azaria must have been terribly in need of dough to attach their names to this god-awful tripe. Raymond Burr is rolling over in his grave. Now I have to make up 7 more lines of text to get this review posted when there is really no more that needs to be said, or that can be said. Oh, wait. Did I mention that I really thought this movie was the worst movie of all time? Worse than "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." Worse than "Gigli." Worse than "Police Academy." Worse than "Hercules in New York." Should I go on? I still have two more lines to fill...worse than "Surf Nazis Must Die." Worse than "Kung Pow:Enter the Fist." OK...OK...I've filled up 10 lines. I'll stop.
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Hollywood (1980)
10/10
The greatest of all Hollywood documentaries
10 January 2005
If you are a fan of the silent period, this series is a must see.

Interviews with the silent stars, producers, directors, writers, and craft people, as well as more footage of the era than you can possibly imagine. Brownlow and Gill, two of Hollywood's premier historians, have put together this highly entertaining documentary series and are able to capture the feel and the look of early Hollywood.

Particularly interesting is that each episode is a theme. From comedies, to westerns, to a particular star or director, to the frequent scandals, each episode has insight into what made Hollywood tick.

Those of us who see the silent film as a beautiful art form marvel at the beauty of the technique when sound doesn't get in the way. Brownlow and Gill have found footage frequently thought to be destroyed but found in someone's garage or basement.

I am raising my son to appreciate the silent film, and with the help of this series he has become a fan of Chaplin, Keaton, Lloyd, and many others.

Thanks to David and Kevin.
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10/10
Perhaps the best Western-Noir of all time-give it more votes!
15 December 2004
A dark Western that ranks with "Liberty Valance" as a top Western-Noir film. This great film has a ranking that would place it in the top 250, but lacks enough votes.

"Ox-Bow" is rarely viewed or mentioned, yet most consider it to be a great film. Fonda's slow style is perfect for this psychological drama, and Henry Morgan delivers a very deep and compassionate performance. Dana Andrews may be miscast but delivers. Though slow-paced its characters, plot line and score keep the viewer glued. It's a haunting story with a twist at the end.

Please vote for this fine film and see if we can get it into the top 250!
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