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Reviews
Siu Lam juk kau (2001)
Hold onto your balls ...
This absolute stonker of a movie will have you rolling in the isles. With it's "In yer face" laughs, fast pace, surprises and takes on various aspects of martial arts it stole my heart. They might not know much about the offside rule in Hong Kong, but who gives a toss with the FX drenched kung football scenes on the pitch.
Don't think. Just see it!
Il mondo di Yor (1983)
The ultimate barbarian/ufo/dinosaur/scifi B-movie
This movie is an absolutely superb beer and crisps movie to be shared with likeminded friends. If you have been looking for the ultimate barbarian-scifi-dinosaur-ufo combo movie check it out. Who could have believed anyone really ever made i movie of this calibre. I mean, jurrasic park only had pixels, but this movie has full blown papiermaché monsters. Brilliant! And not only is it full of really bad acting, FX, costumes etc but it's hilarious to watch. Having watched it a couple of times (incredulously on both occasions) we have coined the term to "Yor" when playing games, meaning to destroy or eradicate (by accident) a town or village. This in fact happens four times during the movie i.e. every time Yor meets up with any kind of civilization. Errr, make that five times.
Dark Descent (2002)
... into obscurity
This movie marks the return to that 80's scifi set look we all love and
don't miss. At all. Although this is obviously a TV-quality movie I doubt
it's possible to make a futuristic indoor movie any cheaper than this with
it's few grey walled sets and a few meters of corridor which one soon
comes
to recognize. Although the movie is dreary and just plain silly, this is
not
it's major fault. You soon find yourself wondering how blatant a ripoff
you
can get away with when the plot, clothes and scenes are taken from the
80ies
movie "Outland" with Sean Connery.
Save yourself the time and money and rent something (anything)
else.
Dark Descent (2002)
... into obscurity
This movie marks the return to that 80's scifi set look we all love and
don't miss. At all. Although this is obviously a TV-quality movie I doubt
it's possible to make a futuristic indoor movie any cheaper than this with
it's few grey walled sets and a few meters of corridor which one soon
comes
to recognize. Although the movie is dreary and just plain silly, this is
not
it's major fault. You soon find yourself wondering how blatant a ripoff
you
can get away with when the plot, clothes and scenes are taken from the
80ies
movie "Outland" with Sean Connery.
Save yourself the time and money and rent something (anything)
else.
Vercingétorix (2001)
A mystery film good for pulling out teeth ...
While running the risk covering the same ground as everyone else I can add a medicinal angle to the reviews and instead recommend removing a molar or two before seeing this movie. Having just had a tooth pulled, I rented a pile of movies and popped a couple of painkillers. To my surprise the throbbing in my jaw subsided quickly enough once "Druids" started rolling. I wish that I could have at least said that the movie gave me a headache instead (if only I had been so lucky), but no. It did relax my jaw through utilizing a mind numbing storyline, bad acting/hair/soundtrack etc. I usually like a good scrum, especially in historical movies but I could not bear to watch this waste of time and plastic to the bitter end. Check the cheapo use of cuts back and forth in 80s MTV style in trying to portray the immensity of the roman army. Now you may have heard rumours of specially trained fallanx of left handed warriors but this can now be attributed to the flip-flopping of film footage.
Oh, and the mystery? How did they entice Max von Sydow and Klaus Maria Brandauer into coming aboard?