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Torque (2004)
Impossible stunts, OK acting, script begging for a remake
Neal Moritz needs to take a physics class.
Then he needs to recall this flick and redo it. The Fast And The Furious at least was plausible. But Torque is just straight-up cartoonish.
For example (possible 'stunt' spoilers):
Sport bikes do not perform "stoppies" (where the front brake causes the rear of the bike to lift off the ground) when the traction is low.
They also do not perform 180-degree turns on stainless steel (again, slick surface).
There is not a bike made that can achieve 0-100mph in less than a second.
These are but three examples of CG taking over.
The ONLY stunt sequences that are even close to being 'real' (if extremely unsafe to do) are the opening race and the title credits. Everything else is questionable for some reason or another.
I'm not one to judge 'wooden' acting, or other such things. I figured Ice Cube did a fair job. And the pokes at other movies and such were actually pretty good.
But seriously, this is a live-action cartoon. If you're expecting anything else... save your money.
Biker Boyz (2003)
Half-decent plot buried under a squidfest
I'm sure there's a Greek tragedy or Shakespeare play with the same basic premise: Son aspires to be one of the great princes instead of a courtier, son loses father, son disappears, only to return as the heir apparent to the Prince's crown and all that.... such a plot has such promise.
But when you bury it under a bunch of expensive sportbikes, T&A shots, and juvenile stunts... blech!
As a moviegoer, I thought this was barely worth the matinee price. As a Shakespeare fan, I thought it overdone, washed out. As a motorcyclist, I thought it shameful (Passengers in shorts, spaghetti-strap tops, and heels? Racing w/o helmets? Stunting on a public freeway, in traffic, at night? These are NOT the role models you were looking for...) I will point out that a FEW lines in the movie did hint to the dangers of riding, especially 'extreme' riding. The crashes were definitely hopped up (not sure if a 500 lb superbike would sail spinning thru the air like a frisbee...) but no punches were pulled as to how badly you can get hurt on these things if you're not careful and FOCUSED. And Fishbourne's character, although definitely the most bad-ass in the whole bunch, showed how far skill, finesse, and restraint will go beyond blind luck, guts, and adrenaline. That is to say, he was on top the whole time, even to the last frame.
With the budget this film had (pretty much, the bikes alone are each worth 20G's or more) they COULD have made something with more emotional impact, more story, and a LOT less gratuitous teenage hormone inducer. So, if you see this movie, resist the impulse to go out and get a bike. The real world ain't like this at all. Riding like this in the real world will get someone (probably YOU) killed.
Die Another Day (2002)
SFX, story, SFX, story, SFX.... Make Up Your Minds!!!
WARNING: possible spoilers ahead.
On the one hand, this is a good film, and as the 20th, it definitely showcases what it means to be James Bond. Keep an eye out for LOTS of "cameo appearances" from previous films (devices, scenes, etc etc). I'll have to come up with a drinking game for this movie when it hits DVD distribution...
On the other hand, someone gave the SFX guys too much of the budget, and they went crackers with it. (An invisible Aston-Martin??? What next, Wonder Woman's jet? And don't get me started on the whole kite-surfing with the parachute thing...)
Theme song: OK. Joins the ranks of Duran Duran (View to a Kill) and a-HA (The Living Daylights) where top-40 gets to promote itself using Bond. (Note to Bond producers - find someone avant-garde for next time, give THEM some exposure! They're the ones that need it. Preferably someone 'local' to the plot venue.)
Gadgets: erm... well... nothing we've not seen before, except for the 'invisible' car. The point-defense shotguns were quite good though. And it was good to see the villain having equal access to an armed-to-the-teeth sportscar (although one wonders why, if not that they somehow KNEW Bond would show up with his!)
Villains: Good. Rick Yune (Fast and the Furious) does quite a good job as Zhao.
Superweapon: Personally I think the whole "we put up a satellite but no one knows what it REALLY does" plot device is a bit jaded. Let's see now: Goldeneye, Moonraker, Diamonds Are Forever, You Only Live Twice, Dr. No... and that's not counting the 'hijacking' of the GPS system in Tomorrow Never Dies. What's next? Someone hijacks or subverts the International Space Station?
Allies: what allies? Previous films had characters like Jack Wade, Felix Leiter, and Boris Zuchovski. Bond has been working with 'allied' agencies since Dr. No. So why not here? (and no, the NSA doesn't count.)
Bond Girls: It's all about Halle Berry. Girl got STYLE, yanno?
Q: John Cleese will never replace Desmond Llewellyn. Good thing he doesn't try. This is straight-up Cleese, and he shines. Hopefully nothing happens to break up the Dame Judi/Brosnan/Samantha "Moneypenny" Bond team, because they've got a great dynamic going, and Cleese fits right in.
M: Dame Judi Dench!!
Bond: Brosnan is on the top of his game with the character. Doesn't matter if he's armed with the latest Q toys, or with nothing, he's definitely got it. Oh yes, scenes of Pierce in an unbuttoned shirt and barefoot pay homage to similar scenes with Mssr. Connery, for those that keep track of this sort of thing.
OK, that's enough. Go see it if you're into action and great SFX, but wait for video/DVD release if you're hankering for the Bond wit, dialogue, drama, plot twists, and so forth. They're there, but a bit watered down by the over-the-top action scenes.
And yes, the requisite "Last Conquest" scene (you know, the one where Bond and the girl get it on as his reward for Saving the World?) is hilarious. So don't walk out early, or at least come back for the final bits.
Last Action Hero (1993)
When Ah-nuld breaks the fourth wall, it REALLY breaks....
Surprised this didn't get better reviews when it came out. I still get a kick out of this movie. The whole premise (a movie character THINKS that his reality is "real" until his greatest fan gets transported into the film and starts interacting with him) is hard to accomplish, but here it gets done very well. Lots of in-jokes, satire, cameos all over the place, and quite a bit of action as well (although in the 'real world' it gets a bit more dark and realistic).
This is one of those flicks where you just have to turn your rational brain to 'simmer' and enjoy the movie. At the same time, don't blink, or you'll miss some of the good stuff...
Pump Up the Volume (1990)
Great flick, Slater and Mathis carry this one WAY beyond the rest...
This movie is for all those people that, for lack of a voice, didn't bother to ever speak their mind. Teenage angst? Yeah. Adult corruption, boredom, the sense of being royally shafted by the "world at large"? That too. I've seen this move a lot of times on cable, and purchased the DVD when I saw it in the rack. Why? Mainly because I'm a fan of Slater's just-this-side-of-deranged intensity, and also because of Mathis's portrayal of a not-in-the-popular-group teenager who still has a soul to speak with. Apparently the two dated for awhile; I can see the chemistry in the acting, and think it a shame that they had a falling out. The two clicked well on screen. Oh well, So Be It.
Having been a geek with a speech impediment myself (my tongue locked up and made incomprehensible noise in the presence of cute girls, really embarrassing) AND having been the Self-Assured Voice Behind The Microphone (radio operator for a search/rescue team in college), I really think that people like Mark/Hard Harry are a tonic for what ills us.
Watch this Movie. Find your Voice, and Use It. Talk Hard.
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a FAST night...
I had heard that this was pretty much a low-plot, high-action flick, but I was surprised at how well things flowed together. There were a few disappointments. One, most of the racecars were imports (OK, ONE from Germany) except for the badass muscle car Dom was "afraid of". Two, I'm surprised that the truck hijacks went off so easily; truckers are a pretty independent lot, and I doubt the ones I know would have let those li'l black Hondas stay in front of them. Ever see what happens to a car when steamrolled by a truck? It ain't pretty.
But, the paint jobs, the race scenes, the ladies, and the stunts more than made up for the skinny plot. Definitely a lot of "don't try this stuff at home" stuff too. (Note to you street racers reading this; including a train as an unnamed third opponent in a drag race is a VERY BAD IDEA).
After the movie, as I was cruising home, I caught a sunfire yellow Impreza in the rearview... made me wish I wasn't driving a Lincoln. :)