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2/10
what the hell does "you got served" mean?
28 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
possible spoilers

this movie left me with lot of questions.

where are everyone's parents? why is steve harvey the only father figure? what is jakee doing in a movie? the house looked better than mine, as did the cell phones, clothes and shoes - why do those kids need money? how does that one guy have a car if he has no money? what are they "delivering"? newspapers? are these kids in high school? do they have jobs? why are most of the white people evil? why, in a movie who's central premise is dancing, is most of the dancing so boring? what's with the plot holes? what's up with the cheesy as hell montages? lil saint is alive one day and dead the next - where did everyone get their "lil saint" gear? is there a lil saint store? why is lil kim in a movie intended for anyone under 18? did it occur to anyone that reciting lines in front of a camera is not acting?

oh the cliches - to numerous to count. i'm beginning to think there really is a cliche handbook.

i gave this movie a 2. only because as bad as it was, it was still better than matrix revolutions.
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5/10
another dissapointment
7 February 2003
basically an awesome premise that stevie gradually destroys over 2 1/2 hours.

plot twists come out of nowhere, really bad dialouge and an exposition overkill and some cg effects that look like a 10 yr old nintendo game and character's motivations either are confusing or don't seem to exist.

shame little stevie for stealing that shot from the end of blade runner.

and if i had the power, i'd put you in director's detention for that lame ass ending.
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5/10
big dissapointment
9 January 2003
as you've read in other reviews, there's alot of things left out or changed from the books and that sucked, but i'll skip that.

this movie was like sitting through freshman english - for 2 1/2 hours.

instead of the terrific character development like the first film, we get a long ass war scene, an elf "tony hawking" down the stairs and dwarf jokes. what the hell? was this thing directed by vince mcmahon?

i was just so suprised to see a shroud of dumb thrown over the whole thing.

gollum was okay - not nearly evil enough, way to cute.

aside from the isengard scene at the end, i don't ever need to see this piece of crap again.

i realize that this is an unpopular opinion - maybe i drunkenly stumbled into "two weeks notice" by mistake.
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10/10
simply great *spoilers*
10 November 2002
Warning: Spoilers
this is a great film.

like alot of people, i was skeptical about hearing adam sandler's name in a drama. but after seeing it, it makes perfect sense. it is essentialy the same character he always plays - calm and friendly / the incredible hulk - but this time it's much more realistic and moving.

the only complaints i have come from the audience and marketing. i made the mistake of seeing this film on saturday night with about 20 teenagers looking for the goofy adam. as a result they tend to howl at wildly inapropriate times.

this, i think, ties into the marketing problem. the ads tell us this is a black comedy or maybe a romance. i disagree. to me this movie is about anxiety period. i felt a bit uncomortable watching it since it was so familiar. scenes like when adam says he can't make a party because he has to renew his gym membership or the pacing and fidgeting, these are all things i've experienced. now there is the element of love in the film, but to me it was more about finally finding something positive to latch on to. we watch as adam fights his own fears to follow something he knows in his heart is right.

this is the only film i can think of that i completely understood and related to every second of. (but for the record, i've never beaten up four people with a tire iron)
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Mr. Deeds (2002)
5/10
very uneven and unfunny
26 October 2002
this film seems to have all the ingredients, but still doesn't work. good actors (except for the loser with the pillow under his shirt) and a good story.

but adam goes from shy and polite to beating the crap out of people - what the hell?

it worked in his other movies because he kept the "hulk" closer to the surface, here it's two different characters.

also, what's the deal with the wigs in this film. are they supposed to be part of the jokes. they were horrible and distracting.

with the exception of the wedding singer, adam doesn't mix romance and comedy very well.

hopefully punch drunk love will live up to the hype.
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Metropolis (2001)
4/10
best of times, worst of times *spoiler*
9 July 2002
Warning: Spoilers
awesome backgrounds, horrible popeye style characters, horrible use of american music.

lame plot: just like A.I. it starts good then degenerates into Pinochio (sp)? i don't CARE about robots.

and tell me i didn't hear freddie prinz jr doing a voice. - that's the kind of crap that ruined Princess Mononoke.

i'm gonna watch it again in japanese w/ subtitles.
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Gladiator (2000)
7/10
okay, but nothing to write home about *little spoiler*
12 May 2002
Warning: Spoilers
i must be the last person on earth to have seen this (5/02), and i was in no hurry. i almost always disagree with the "academy"

on the good side - some cool cinematography, good set design and special effects (mostly) and Joquain Pheonix.

the bad - the characters seem a bit flat, they should have developed more. i couldn't help but laugh at some of the names Commodus and Maxiums Exodus Leviticus Deuteronamy whatever... and one really bad FX shot where Russel kills a tiger - it looked like they got a stuffed tiger from a state fair.

overall: good, but i don't ever need to see it again
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Barbarella (1968)
3/10
boring soft porn
12 May 2002
this film is utterly boring. it has horrible acting, special effects, and has the pace of a tortoise on valium. it was almost as tedious as "The Blair Witch Project". the only thing that was remotely interesting was the set design and the female nudity. aside from that, this is a chore to watch - it took me 2 days.

if you want to watch it, i suggest altering your "lucidity" before hand.
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Drawing Flies (1996)
6/10
approach with caution.....
20 April 2002
For those of you expecting a great Kevin Smith comedy, this is not it. This is basically a very good student film. The pace of this film is really uneven and the non-Jason Lee characters needed a little more depth. The sound and picture quality is a bit low - the audio almost drops out a couple times.

the good news: if you're a fan of Jason Lee you'll enjoy this one. He pulls an "Atlas" and carries the entire film. There is also some suprisingly good cinematography. I was suprised to see that 90% of the cast of Mallrats is in it.

bottom line: rent first, buy later.
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9/10
another great one from David - *small Spoiler*
13 April 2002
Warning: Spoilers
I finally just saw this film. I liked this much more than Lost Highway, it flows alot better. Even though it's not as fast paced (relatively speaking) as Blue Velvet or Wild at Heart, it's a fascinating journey. It has a bit of the dream-like quality that was all through Eraserhead.

My one complaint has more to with the initial promotion of the film. Right from the beginning I had been hearing about the girl/girl sex scenes. If you have seen this film, you will know that that information really kills the climax of the movie.

A little note on the DVD. I really appreciate the lack of chapter selection and commentary - this film is meant to be watched straight through without interruption.
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9/10
the best inside joke ever
4 April 2002
this is really a good film, but to get the most out of it you should see the other four Smith movies. do yourself a favor and buy the SE DVD - this movie would have gotten a 10 instead of a 9 from me if Will Ferrel's out-takes would have been included. not to mention all the great stuff that the god***n MPAA made Smith cut.

it flows really well - 104 minutes that feels like 10.
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Shallow Hal (2001)
disappointing movie - ATTN: contains spoiler!
1 March 2002
Warning: Spoilers
i really thought this was gonna be good, but not so.

the premise is good - a man obsessed with looks gains the ability to see inner beauty. i understand the intention, but the execution was horrible.

after 15 minutes you can tell how it's going to end, which isn't bad, but it was an insult having Paltro in a fat suit at the end. why the hell didn't they use the actress that actually played her in the "fat" scenes.

it reminds me of the Farelly bros movie "Outside Providence" - they cannot mix gross-out humor and really heavy drama at the same time. they should stick to more even films like "...Mary" and "...Irene"

just as bad was the overall lack of humor. Jack Black's mannerisms and inflection are genius. Laura Kightlinger and Kyle Gass are good in their minor rolls. but the rest of the humor is crap. Jason Alexander obviously did this for the money. and miss Paltro is worthless.

hey Jack - stick to good indie films and the D.
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1/10
this movie sucked
1 March 2002
this is the worst movie ever made.

another movie with a great idea and horrible execution. given the introduction, i was not expecting a linear film. but having three kids yell "f**k" more frequently than an NWA record does not make a film.

i was shocked to find that this thing was only 90 min. it drags on and on and on. sorry but i'm not scared by a shaking camera and some twigs.

the tail end finally looked like it was gonna pick up, but then it was over.

they should rerelease this with the middle 80 mins cut out.
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Orgazmo (1997)
10/10
great movie
1 March 2002
perfect for fans of south park.

this movie is really funny and never slows. it has a good mix of humor from smart to goofy - a bit of a "Naked Gun" style here and there.

hey, can someone explain why this got a NC-17 rating from the MPAA? there's a bit of language and non-threatening violence but that's about it. there's about 2 seconds of nudity.

i dunno, just go rent it.

p.s. g-fresh is in the hizouse
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1/10
the worst movie ever.
6 November 1999
i can appreciate what they were trying to do with this, but it just failed. 90 minutes of three dorks running around in the woods? what the...

i must say i didn't think there were so many ways to say the 'f' word - which is about half the dialogue. there was hardly any history on the characters, so it was hard to care for them. after a half hour, i was praying for the witch to come out and take care of these losers. and then the ending. i liked it, it was good, but it was the only interesting part of the movie. (i'd go on, but i find it hard to express my true feelings for this movie without cursing like a madman.)
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