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Reviews
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Where's the Music?
This movie made me reminisce of some good times.
Characters are colourful, just like the friends from my childhood.
But, a good film this is not. It was fun, but I hoped for more.
Technically it's sound, I mean u can't go wrong with all the professionals involved.
It just didn't take me back to the era of the first movies.
I was hoping for some rocking tunes from the 80s n 90s, to take me back to a time when I was carefree. But it didn't.
Nice to see so many original cast members tho. That felt so sweet.
But, the part of the movie that connected with me the most, was in fact the end credits montage of every day people playing and enjoying music.
Music, a song to unite the world is the plot. Yet, music and the world are only featured during the end credits.
By the way, they should have just used Arcade Fire - Wake Up as the song to unite.
Dunkirk (2017)
It's good but don't expect a documentary
First off, I'm no historian, but I love movies. I studied WW1 and WW2 at school and it was drilled into us how horrible war is.
This movie, in my (questionable) point of view, is by no means supposed to be an accurate portrayal of what happened at Dunkirk, but instead to let viewers know the hardships of war.
Characters range from heroic to cowardly, but.... I'm not saying that some characters are just heroic, some are just cowardly. I'm saying that almost all characters in this movie portray both heroism and cowardice at some point in the Dunkirk journey.
At the end of the day, they are trying to go home by whatever means. They might help some fellow soldiers along the way, they might not.
The non linear storyline 'reveal' was a surprising twist in a movie with such a serious subject and is one that I didn't expect.
Purists and historians and, dare I say it, relatives and friends of the soldiers of Dunkirk, might find it an obtrusive detraction to the heartfelt situations their loved ones were involved in, but looking at it from a cinematic point of view, it was genius.
For me, the time shift didn't affect my appreciation for everyone involved, in fact it accentuated my feelings of despair and hope at the same time.
Technically this movie is brilliant, dramatically, I've watched better.
Respect to all and hope this never happens again.
Bloodshot (2020)
Eizaaaaaaaa
Wasn't as bad as people make out.
Vin Diesels dialogue still require subtitles. The action was well shot, apart from the flour battle.
The amount of flour and firearms involved would have just imploded the whole area. Flour is super flammable, duh.
But other than that it was an enjoyable action movie. Helped by the fact that Lamorne Morris is funny albeit in a wasted role and Eiza Gonzalez oozes charm in, u guessed it, in another wasted role.
I'm looking forward to seeing them both in better written productions.
Good production values, interesting action sequences and the oh so hot Eiza make this a movie that's worth a viewing, maybe not the admission cost though.
Da hong zha (2018)
So bad it's good. Prepare BEERS!
What did I just watch? I have to admit I was thoroughly entertained throughout the runtime.
Yet I question, Wtf did i just watch? The acting was OTT, the effects were PS2 like, the dialogue sounded like it was written by a 15 year old teen brainwashed by Chinese propaganda.
The only good thing about this movie was the character of Susan. Cos......she was HOT!
But at the same time whilst these negative thoughts were circulating around my brain, I couldn't help but enjoying this piece of excrement. It truly is a movie that's so bad it's good.
There is one act in the final third however that showed this director might have a good future though. It's when the bombing actually starts and citizens are trapped under rubble.
The whole scene is like it was pulled from a different movie. Dimly shot with use of shaded tones, toddlers struggling for air, and expressions that made me feel war is truly horrible.
But why, oh why, was this dramatic scene contained within this pile of garbage?!
Watch it after a few beers, don't watch it otherwise.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
When did The Conjuring become Teen Horror?
Disappointing entry in to the Annabelle series. It started with good intentions and the opening set piece delivered some nice chills.
The expostion in the the first act I thought was well executed in terms of character development and explaining the relationships the characters have with the Warren's.
The second act however goes off on a tangent and there are few scares and dramatic tension to keep the viewer occupied.
The final act is even worse, with editing and structure that removes the audience from any tension amongst scenes as we switch from one focal character to another.
Kinda reminded me of the Avenger's when they assemble to each defeat a specific end level boss. Or even the classic 80s movie "Monster Squad", which was kinda played for laughs.
The introduction of a werewolf just totally derailed this movie.
Watch it just to be a completist, otherwise just ignore.
Robin Hood (2018)
Enjoyable action flick. Don't expect accuracy or Oscars
Not a bad movie in all honesty. Action was decent, the plot moved briskly and I liked some of the cheeky banter.
The sets were nicely crafted and the costumes were, albeit distracting at first, added to the atmosphere of this being a non historically accurate revisioning of folklore.
This I have to emphasise as it's what is stated in the opening monologue, but some hater's and purists out there just didn't seem to get the point.
At the end of the day, the story of Robin Hood has never been officially stated as true. Just enjoy the movie for what it is, which is an enjoyable and fun take on folklore.
Officer Downe (2016)
Lovely limbs go flying
Didn't know anything about this movie before watching it and it gave me such a pleasant surprise.
I love schlocky and cheap movies, I grew up watching them. So to see a movie that reminded me of films from Hammer and classics like Swamp Thing, was always gonna b a winner in my book.
The gore is gory but not overused and in your face. The effects are cheap, but I reckon this was done on purpose by the film makers to keep this film in tone with the style of schlock horror movies that they obviously were paying homage to.
Overall, a fab movie for fans of the genre and I'm hoping for a sequel (or 2).
Suspiria (2018)
Messy
Dunno what the hell I just watched. Avoided reviews to set my own expectation of this re-imagining of a classic. But after watching it I felt empty and confused.
It wasn't really an homage, it took the source material in a new direction, that I agree but at the end of the day it was convoluted and meaningless.
Argento took this script, this concept and made it a movie that messed with u, u didn't know what to expect amongst the confusion, but it was intriguing and full of imagery that was so psychedelic it warranted multiple viewings so that u made sure u didn't miss anything.
This adaption however had neither psychedelic confusing pieces or give the viewer an appetite to understand more about the dubious actions of the protagonists.
It was slow, not that slow burners r bad, but they must build up the tension and keep the viewer intrigued to find out more.
This was just slow for the sake of being slow. Some nice long shots and cinematography but that didn't add any joy to the dullness of this movie.
Welcome Home (2018)
Poo
Really disappointed with this. I was expecting a taut sexy thriller but it was neither.
In fact, I've had poo's that were more interesting than this.
The drop sound into the toilet so much more resonant. The texture much more layered than the script. The way my poo clings to the inside of the bowl is way clingier than the company of this couple.
1 star for the garden gnomes. 1 star for black background during the end credits.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Holy ****
As a horror fan I can't believe I only just watched this movie recently.
It's utter trash. I love trash!
The acting is poor, the dialogue is atrocious, the plot is predictable, everything about this movie is pants.
But.......I loved it.
The "twist" ending, well, u might have guessed it liked I did, but even I wasn't ready for the ludicrously horrific image I was subjected to.
So upsetting and with my morbid nature, I had to rewind (for u VHS folks) and watch it over n over again just to reconfirm what I saw. And also try see how they filmed it.
Great movie for horror fans
Kong cheng ji (2013)
Wannabe sci fi noir
Not a bad opening. Builds up a blade runner esque world in the first several minutes with hints of a gritty triad drama.
But then the noir atmosphere and sci fi scenics disappear as we're taken on a journey from a nice office with 2020 decor, to a nice restaurant with 1980s decor, to an apartment with 1990s decor, to a street with some 1950s cars whilst everyone uses a tiny phone with HUD's in a desperate attempt to remind the viewer that this is set in the future.
Plot reminded me of The Usual Suspect's. Execution not so.
Decent enough for a Friday night with a couple of beers.
Mega Time Squad (2018)
Needed subtitles
Nice little movie. Old plot but deployed with a cheeky sense of humour and great soundtrack.
Let down by alot of mumbling and poor sound, not to mention some NZ slang that I guess only NZ folks ever use.
Other than that, a decent little movie
Bokeh (2017)
Unfulfilled potential
Put it simply, great premise, beautiful location, boring approach, annoying leads.
I dunno what the film makers were trying to convey. The dialogue is stale, the interaction has zero chemistry.
The actions of the 2 lead's mirrors a disfunctional marriage. In which case coulda worked as a drama, not a 1 and a half hour ambiguous sci fi dissection of a marriage counselling session.
Hotel Artemis (2018)
California dreaming
Not bad. Good action, great production design. Action was well choreographed. Everyone put in a good performance.
There is a flaw tho. The movie was too short. I woulda loved to have spent 30 minutes more with these people in a non hotel environment. To truly understand the past and repurcussions.
There were touching moments that were fleeting cos the back story was not fully developed. This movie was good, but coulda been very good with more exposition.
Gong yuan 2000 AD (2000)
A very Pacey film!
In 2000 AD Aaron Kwok plays a computer games developer/dealer, who's brother inadvertenlty lands him in trouble over a computer bomb.
The film centres around Kwok trying to find the bomb while avoiding terrorists and wondering who to trust, which thankfully delivers many thrilling and sometimes violent action set pieces set in Hong Kong and Singapore.
The films structure is odd, with some scenes having nothing to do with the film at all. Gordon Chans directing is commendable, though varies during the film. In the first action set piece he cleverly uses black & white slo mo shots to enhance the emotional and violent impact of the scene, but this technique is abandoned for the rest of the action scenes. The rest of the action seems to be shot with steady cam giving an arthouse feel. But then he gives us an almost MTV car chase.
On the whole 2000 AD is a very good film. Aaron Kwok does a very good job as the confused Peter, and Francis Ng is excellent as the dry witted law enforcer.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Boo! Scared? You should be!
The Blair Witch Project is a truly scary mind trip of a movie. It is a movie that is best seen without listening to all the hype thats going on, and best watched alone or with your partner.
The concept is simple, think Cannibal Holocaust, which the film makers admit as being inspirational. 3 college film makers enter a forest in Burkittsville to explain the legend of the Blair Witch. Legend has it that the forest is haunted and many children disappeared a century or 2 earlier.
When in the forest, they get lost, how original. They are haunted, but the question is.... by what? Is it a ghost or is it some lunatic, theres a nice reference to Deliverance by one of the characters. What is certain is they don't make it out of the forest, as you are told from the beginning.
What you are actually watching is the hours and hours of footage they managed to shoot which was found after they went missing, and edited down to 90 minutes.
Thats the original bit, along with the fact that you are watching raw footage of what actually happened in real life. The actors were given little food and were told to go into the forest for a week, camping, no civilisation for the entire shoot. Each actor only had their lines given to them, no one knew how the others were going to respond. Thats scary enough, without the directors firing gunshots at 3 in the morning and making weird stick things to freak them out.
By the end of the shoot the actors aren't just acting, its true emotion, they really are stressed out, they really are cold, and they really do want to get out of the damn forest.
So sit back in the dark, switch the lights off and be scared.
Ging chaat goo si juk jaap (1988)
Not as good as the first.
Police Story 1 was a masterpiece, Police Story 2 is good, its that simple. Its just not as good as the original, but how many sequels are?
The plot is simple, Mr.Ku is out for revenge and a series of bombs have been set off in Hong Kong, so its up to Jackie and his regulars to investigate. May played by Maggie Cheung is once again the damsel, who's in distress by the way.
The fights and stunts are up to form. The fight scene in the park is just magnificent. About a dozen henchman grasping various metal objects are after Jackie, who uses everything from climbing frames to see-saws to fend them all off.
What the film lacks is interesting dialogue, conversations are just boring and the Chinese jokes are untransaltable into English. Jackies character is depressed and all uptight, not as fun as in the original, but the guy did go through hell in the first movie, so I guess its understandable. The pace of film is also too erratic, one minute its a rollercoaster, the next minute its like watching a melodrama.
Anyway, the action is still top notch and this film paved the way for Police Story 3 SuperCop, which gained recognition in the U.S with a theatrical release.
Wo ai chu fang (1997)
Simply nice.
'Kitchen' is based on the original Japanese Manga 'I Love the Kitchen', and this Hong Kong/Japanese co-production captures the manga's imagery beautifully.
Director Ho Yim manages to let Jordan Chan and Yasuka Tomita to show some of their true selves within the characters they portray. The result is two commendable performances and a great on screen chemistry.
'Kitchen' is a very slow film, taking a long time to travel little distance, which may not appeal to some. But those who are patient will be in for a treat. Slow dreamy crane shots, gentle picturesque scenes, and some surreal changes of pace. Well worth investing two hours of your time.
Ging chaat goo si (1985)
His best!!!!!
This is Jackie Chan's best film, and my personal favourite. After the disappointing U.S made 'The Protector' directed by James Glickenhaus, Jackie took the concept and placed it slap bang into Hong Kong. This is also probably Jackies most violent movie, with the audience cringing at the bone breaking stunts.
The action is fast and furious, Jackie and his crew really did put max effort into the fight design. Bones were broken and blood spilt in the process of making this film as you'll see in the credits.
The script is a simple cops and robbers affair, nothing special, after all it was written around the action. I must say that the english version has some dodgy dubbing, but it shouldn't put you off too much.
So, get the lads round, crack open the beers and enjoy. By the way, the film was nicknamed 'Glass Story' by the stunt crew. Why? I'll let you find out for yourself!!