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Reviews
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)
I'm disappointed in myself for sitting through the whole thing.
It is rumored that Lucas essentially had his daughter on the writing team for the prequels, via him channeling her desires to him. This is why they at times look disjointed, forced, and adolescent.
Same thing here. I don't know who the target audience is, but I guess they're 12? This film is such a hodge-podge of moments that ad nothing to the plot and are not that clever.
Maybe it was written by a focus group. Maybe it was written by 5 impossible producers. Who knows. But it's not good. There at a lot of plot holes. Further, there are a lot of moments where a cultural queue is jammed in without adding anything. You have to sit through these like sitting through a commercial. It's insufferable. I am sad I suffered through the entire thing.
The Umbrella Academy (2019)
Gets better with time.
Didn't think I'd make it very many episodes, but after 2 or 3 I was hooked.
Dust to Glory (2005)
I usually love racing movies
I don't know how they made this one so boring.
It's like a director for evangelical fund raisers made a movie about racing. There's an excessive amount of color commentary about people I have no real attachment to, and very little coverage of the machines, the strategies, the difficulties.
I heard Honda a few times. I don't believe I heard KTM once. From a manufacturer vs manufacture standpoint, the movie is silent. No talk of pit strategies.
The characters are flat. Nobody learns anything. Nobody seems to learn anything during the meeting.
I think this is a movie for people who actually compete in the race. Boring!
Hard Candy (2005)
Tortured acting tries to save cliché plot
This is the first movie I've ever walked out on. There is only one reasonable explanation for why this movie was made. It is that there are few actors in it, and as such it must have been very cheap to make.
The actors try really hard to add something to the anemic plot. The director uses a lot of shaky camera tricks, because, as we all know, this means "intense", and this movie is totally intense.
It's not totally intense. It made me laugh out loud. It's totally cliché.
I feel like the young woman who acted in it could be a valuable addition to the cast of a movie where she doesn't have to say ridiculous things to pass the time in a boring movie.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
Not a surprise, not a delight...
The trailers, for me, framed this movie as being pretentious and a little cliche. It turns out that in addition to that valid prediction, the characters are flat and the story telling becomes so obvious you feel like you've slipped into an infomercial about what you've seen. However, there are some good twists, plot progressions, songs, and picturesque scenes. But not enough to save it.