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Reviews
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Not the worst movie ever, but it's close enough to wave
I was forced into seeing a movie, and I figured Dracula 2000 might be watchable. After all, if Wes Craven attached his name to it, you'd think there might be some redeeming quality to it, but there really wasn't. This movie really comes down to what kind of standards you have for movies. I'd like to think that I have pretty high standards and therefore this movie was really insulting to myself. If are one with lower standards, who enjoys some of the crap that Hollywood is producing these days, you might give this movie a "pretty good" or "very watchable." In reality, it wasn't. I've seen enough horrible movies to last me a lifetime, and this isn't on par with the worst that I've seen, but it's still pretty bad.
I just kept watching it and waited for it to be good, but it never was. Some movies have a great flow to them and you become easily engrossed in the picture. It's impossible to become engrossed with trash like this, though. The dialogue is contrived and too many scenes are just cliched and predictable, and not the predictable where you're thinking "I can't wait for this to happen!" It was more like the predictable where you're thinking "Wow, this is horrible." If you have money, don't spend it on this movie. Go buy a book instead.
The Art of War (2000)
Any real potential gone in first 30 minutes
I went to this film in hopes that it would be one of those good Wesley Snipes action movies that we've all come to know and love. Unfortunately I was disappointed. I'll admit there are some good action scenes in it, but the movie, taken as a whole, approaches an almost ridiculous level. The plot tries to be complicated and very intelligent, but it just comes off as silly, contrived and depending on how well you are at reading movies, predictable. Simply put, this movie isn't very good, and you'd be remiss if you chose it over the many other worthwhile offerings there are in the action movie genre.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Sixth Sense? Great.
I thought it was a very fun movie, with a slowish buildup, that was still interesting and clever. Of course, the end might be the greatest part of the movie, but I thought the slow clues were the things that made the movie so addicting that you wanted to find out where it was all going to lead.
I think the Blair Witch movie is more for teenagers who are just looking for a scary movie. This movie is scary, but it is for more mature audiences who appreciate the value of a good script.
The Wonderful World of Disney: Safety Patrol (1998)
Words typed in a box
Oh come on now people, this movie was not nearly as bad as you all say it is. Well, actually it's probably worse. The jokes and cameos at first just made my eyes tear up with tears of sadness, but then eventually they evolved to me holding a bucket and vomiting in it. Yes, the movie is that bad.
But there is a shining light. There is a young girl in the movie who is dressed, I agree, like a whore. And that is the best part of the movie. The way all of her very tight clothes bind so tightly against her skinny frame, is such a treat, it makes the entire movie worth watching. I gave this movie a 10, just because of her. That's all.