Reviews
The Player (1992)
This movie was so bad it killed the video machine
What was the point of this painful movie? It was neither comedy or suspense - it was cameos of famous people telling weak "in" jokes. Obviously a film for insiders or people who like to think of themselves as insiders. A film to ask for your money back!
Army of Darkness (1992)
Best damned movie on earth with no exception...I said NO exception!!
Following on from the second movie evil dead three manages to play around within about a million genres seemlessly. Funny, Terrifying, Cool and exciting. That is why it is still my most favourite movie ever. The movie follows ash played by Bruce Campbell (pretty much the coolest man alive for my dollar) and his rise from being a doomed slave into being the ass kicking wise cracking king (hail to the king baby). His one liners surpass any precedent set by other movie whose one liners which usually range from corny to plain annoying. Bruce makes anything cool what can I say.
Eraserhead (1977)
It hurts, pain annoyance and a general feeling of badness
David Lynch, now there is a director....for me to poop on.
Hmm now I've seen eraser head and the best question I could conceive to ask is just a general Why?
Just because a movie doesn't follow a story line does that mean it should be labeled an Art film. Is it in the name of art I watched close up after close up of some guys head who is staring at the wall with annoying background noise. This makes it the laziest film I've ever seen it is as if Lynch just turned up every day and filmed a particularly uninteresting wall and threw in some words here and there if the thought passed his mind. Never mind actually constructing any semi conceivable thought because I'll just label it Arty and people will see anything they want to in it in order to make themselves seem sophisticated.
Spookies (1986)
Oh my god what was that?
Well where can I start when there is so much bad stuff in this movie, there is the farting zombies, the dodgy spider woman, the unconvincing evil muppets, duke the horny ghost. I'm just getting carried away with specifics here. Suffice to say honestly the worst movie I've ever seen apart from the scene in the wine basement filled with farting zombies who's only apparent weakness is they can be killed by wine. Good place to hide fellas. From the start it is unapparent why the characters go into this "spooky house" and when they go in what their motivation is to keep hanging around I mean it isn't even their house, why are they surprised when bad things happen when they break into a spooky looking mansion that is built on a graveyard. Well all I can say is that it is no shock that most of them have ever worked in that industry again.