Change Your Image
randr
Reviews
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Yes it's a disaster.
A spoiler.
Roland Emmerich does it again. The man is certainly consistent. His movies are depressingly dull, turgid affairs... but... wait.. in this clinker, the great director experiments. Wow, he's putting the climax at the beginning. That's right. He's spent the sfx budget in the first half hour. After the usual explosions, we get to experience 2 hours of typically tedious 'Emmerichian' dialog, lots of polystyrene snow, and the inside of a library before the words 'The End' crawl on to the screen, in front of a comatose audience. Dismal. It's a Roland Ememrich film so, usual advice,... avoid.
Triumph des Willens (1935)
See the sequel
Whacky TV commercial for Nazis - small bloke with comedy moustache buys sausage factory, organises a party for local schoolchildren, everything goes black and white. Sequel ('Where Eagles Dare') was much better.
Groundhog Day (1993)
Irritatingly Repetitive
Clearly the film-makers simply didn't have enough material for a
feature. They simply kept repeating the plot of a ten minute short
over and over ad nauseum, with a few minor changes! Dismal and
irritating . Groundhog Day is an insult to your intelligence. Save
yourself time: just watch ten minutes of it. Then imagine the
resulting movie if that ten minutes was repeated.... over and over
and over over over.
Independence Day (1996)
Emmerich and Devlin do it again - another piece of cr*p
Idiotic, knuckleheaded, boring, derivative, poorly made, piece of audience-insulting idiocy from the world's worst film makers. Avoid like the plague. Not worth writing any more about. Piece of garbage. Worthless.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Plain bad - except for the marketing
Let's face the film was really just a particularly cheesy home movie. 'And it was, it really was'. The best thing about Blair Witch was the brilliant marketing campaign.. Ironically, marketing is the thing that Hollywood is very good at doing. So despite the 'anti-Hollywood' stance, all Blair Witch really was... was this: a well hyped highly successful bad movie. Oh... kind of Hollywood, really.
The Patriot (2000)
Hugely Entertaining, Historically Accurate
Mel Gibson is the evil ringleader of a bunch of retarded, violent thugs in this highly watchable war of independence epic. Mel and his militiamen use despicable sneaky underhand tactics against the British - who find their more gentlemanly and thoughtful approach to 18th century warfare hopelessly inadequate.The Brits consequently turn to progressively more inventive methods to counter the genuinely sinister Mel and his henchmen. I'm not sure how American audiences would have reacted to seeing their ancestors portrayed as mindless, violent, flag-waving knuckleheaded buffoons, but I enjoyed this movie. The film ends with nasty Mel triumphing. As he returns to rebuild his life, I was left with a distinct impression that a sequel was in the offing. Be nice to see Mel as the good guy next time round. After modern classics such as'Independence Day' and 'Godzilla', Roland Emmerich is surely deserving of his long overdue Oscar for 'The Patriot'.
Pilbara Pearl (1999)
A Beautifully Engineered Fantasy
A beautifully engineered fantasy that perfectly encapsulates, in a few minutes, the isolation of life in an Australian roadhouse and then deftly transports the audience to another more fantastic place. 'Pilbara Pearl' is a wee gem. See it more than once because only then will the secrets of this outstanding short reveal themselves.