Reviews

It's hard to express how mind numbingly stupid this movie is. I really wanted to like a sweet, inspirational Christmas movie like Miracle On 34th Street, but instead I ended up watching this insipid, clumsy, overly sentimental garbage (and I really like sentimental films).

The film depends on the likability of the lead child actor (Margaret O'Brien). Even Shirley Temple couldn't drag this dog out of the mud. The writing, which every movie needs to give structure to build on, is embarrassingly awful. Supporting roles are all rote and trite. Don't look for anything worth your time here.

It's a suckfest.

It is easy to see why Rules Of The Game is often mentioned in the same breath as Citizen Kane. The wonderfully smooth camera work, with its deep focus. The presence of Renoir who, like Welles, directed, wrote, and acted in the two films. But Rules is farce, and not broad farce like, say, Duck Soup or Million Dollar Legs. Critics adore it as a pre-war critique of French morals and failings. This is generous.

I don't wish to disparage the film because it is very famous, but honestly address its flaws, and give it a correct rating.

I write this after my second viewing. My opinion did not change. I doubt I will watch it again.

The movie is good, but it's laughable how badly the great songs on the soundtrack are placed in the film, apropos of nothing. For this reason this film should be studied in film school on how NOT to use music. A good example of the correct way would be American Graffiti. It sets the tone to the action. Otherwise, a fine film.

Most movies are unoriginal, so I give credit to films like this that go out on a limb to try something different. The script could be funnier, and it is trying to be Roger Rabbit, but ends up like Crank Yankers. Still, it is weird and different, so bonus points for being novel.

Imagine a western so stupid the music sounds like wacky sax played on a banjo. No need to, here it is. Robert Culp is fun to watch. Everyone else embarrasses themselves.

Back in 1931, this film won the Academy Award for best sound. It's hard to imagine why when seen today. Perhaps the sound quality was better on older equipment, but now it sounds as if it is being played underwater. Here is a movie begging for restoration. Regrettably, most restorations focus on movies with degrading film image, and not the sound. That aside, this is a beautifully filmed story.

At times amateurish, but always with an honest telling of a damaged girl trying to be good while drowning in a dark world. It rings true.

This film wants to be 2001: A Space Odyssey. It isn't. It's closer to a bad Twilight Zone episode.

I rated this movie a 2. For me, that means it was mostly in focus. Mostly. This movie is so awful I had a hard time not screaming during viewing. Actually, that isn't entirely true. I did scream a few times. This movie is stupid. Painfully stupid. I just wasted 2 hours of my life stupid. They should have a film crimes commission that can try villains like Michael Bay, who has serially made bad movies. Pearl Harbor was Lawrence of Arabia compared to this. Plot holes, logic problems, and just terrible acting abound in this piece of garbage. I recommend it only for the brain dead, and Florida policemen. Okay, apparently I have to write more to get this submitted. Acceptable punishments for those responsible: First, none must be allowed to make any more movies. Second, the writer, director, and producer must be thrown from a plane without a parachute, and land in a wood chipper with dull blades. Thirdly, all the money made off this must go to build hospitals and schools to help repair the damage this crap has caused to civilization.

A four part, 8 hour marathon. Glimpses of genius include Hitler as the captured child molester from M. The third part is a long diatribe by the director looking into the camera and ranting. Fascinating, yet torturous.

Bobby Sherman, fresh from "Here Come The Brides", stars in this staggeringly bad film about a power struggle between Colonists and Tribesmen in a Hawaiian leper colony. A film MST3K should have gone another season to ridicule. Probably the worst movie of the 70's.

Ed Wood has the reputation of being the worst director of all time, and it is easy to see why. This "film" is such a remarkable mess, no thinking person could rate it above a "2". Ed Wood loves making movies, the same way pederasts love children. What they both do is unnatural, and must be stopped! The director of the worse-yet "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and the only-slightly better "Bride of the Monster" made movies quick and cheap. It has been shown that such approaches can produce fine films (The Blair Witch Project), but Wood could never show the talent that separates the artist from the hack. Bela Lugosi as a scientist-god. Ed Wood himself playing the lead character. Documentary fashioned, with a 20 minute Ed Wood dream sequence that is staggeringly awful, the only reason to watch it is for its camp value. Be warned! Beware!

At this time, 659 people have given this film 10 stars, which is why it isn't at the pole position for worst movie ever, which is a shame, since it deserves it. No movie before or since has hit the depths of this one. It's reputation is fully deserved.