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Reviews
Dune (1984)
A waste of time and money
I rented this movie because I heard it was an epic story of blah blah and whatnot. I put in the tape. The first thing I watch is the theatrical trailer. That was tedious enough. They kept showing "D U N E" in the ad. "D U N E", blah blah "D U N E", blah blah "D U N E". I know what the movie is already!
What was with that "spice" stuff? That's not the right word. Instead of spice they should call it "chemical". This "chemical" lets you see all, hear all and know all.
Why did the movie insult me by explaining everything? "This is the same person I've seen in my dreams." "This is the same event that I saw in my dreams." I KNOW, I SAW YOU DREAM IT AN HOUR AGO. I UNDERSTAND. GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY!!!
It was so tedious. I kept nodding off. I didn't even get to see the ending. I remember right after we see the large water reserves and craft blowing up stuff that I fell asleep. Borrrrriiing.
I've never seen a movie that put me to sleep. Ever. Battlefield Earth dried my eyes out and I ended up blinking a contact out. But I never fell asleep.
It all was so confusing. I've never been so dumbfounded about a movie before.
Who made a 5-hour version of this? Who? I want to know. Of course, I will never see that version. But why waste time on making it longer?
I should have rented Dawn of the Dead.
Family Guy (1999)
Family Guy was gold, pure gold.
It was as if the Family Guy became even more daring and innovative when their demise was near. I loved that show. It makes fun of culture more cut-throat than any other sitcom out there. This is something George Carlin would endorse.
I loved how Peter once walked into the Flintstones, knew something was wrong and slowly creeped away. Stewie - he should have his own show.
I love how they make fun of themselves. "Does the family understand what the baby is saying or not?"
That show was close to my heart. It competed with the witty Simpsons sayings that all guys say to get a laugh. "That's unpossible." "It tastes like burning."
Now I can say when ordering something - "I'll have a chicken vagina..."
Bring back the Family Guy or as Bart once said: "The rivers will overflow with our dead." At, least I think he said that...
Mission to Mars (2000)
Well, I liked it.
I have been reading some of the reviews for this movie preceding me on this list. I cannot believe how many hated it or considered it a blatant rip-off of 2001 and other movies like it. Hey, good ideas are always borrowed. That's life. Get over it. It was a great movie. Great effects. Music was overly patriotic but it is set in 2020; how are we to know what the future's little details will be?
If the people who hated it and considered the movie a rip-off, then they are looking too hard for something that is not there. Let's see you movie scrutinizers try to make a movie that is not "ripping-off" another movie - I'd like to see you try.
And Mission To Mars dialogue was not that bad; they're supposed to be astronauts, not writers.
I give it 7/10.
Anywhere But Here (1999)
A very enjoyable film.
Since I am a fan of Natalie Portman, I had to see the movie. I enjoyed every minute of it. It plays out in a very sincere way. Throughout the whole movie at seemed as if Natalie was the mother and Susan was the mother. Susan's character kept making bad decisions and kept getting burned because of it.
I heard that there was supposed to be a love scene involving Natalie and some-guy (he's in Outside Providence) but Natalie would only accept the script if that scene was removed. And I think that is great. I think that a love scene would have ruined the tone of the film.
Natalie must have a knack for picking good movies to be in because I haven't seen her in a bad film yet. So, any movie that has Natalie Portman will no doubt be seen by me.
A good film. 7/10
Back to the Future Part II (1989)
Better than I can remember it being.
I saw this movie in the theatre when it came out. I guess being 9 years old didn't help to not be confused. Now that I am 10 years older, I can say that this is a great movie. I loved the special effects. Movies now-a days don't need a very good computer to create effects. These guys did a good job. Loved it.
Inspector Gadget (1999)
So terrible that I tried to get my money back.
This is one of those movies you think that the makers would refuse to release it because it is so terrible. Obviously they were thinking that children are stupid and are excellent for absorbing endless ads and would think they are entertainment because it is slapstick funny. What is it with the talking car with buttons that say Wendy's, McDonalds, M&M's and Skittles? There was no talking car in the cartoon. (Dr.) Claw is supposed to be evil, not handsome and charming. Why is Rupert Everet 'Claw' anyway? Were the writers on drugs when they wrote these scenes? It looks like they were (badly) lampooning Robo Cop, with the turning a man into a crime fighting android thing. I tried to get my money back but there was a policy where if I watch more than 30 minutes of a movie, you don't get a refund. I'm sorry I watched more than 30 minutes of that pile of crap. After I was told the no-refund policy, I decided to watch the rest of the hideous garbage called Inspector Gadget.
Wildfire: Feel the Heat (1999)
The first IMAX film I have ever seen, ho, hum...
My friends told me that I might get disoriented because the screen is so big. I did not. The movie was boring. Before the film began, images on the screen advertized that the frame-rate of IMAX movies are higher ... I didn't see any difference. The fire was not spectacular enough. This movie was more about the people who put out the fire than the fire itself. The coolest part was when a jeep drove over the camera and broke many twigs in surround sound. This movie was not impressing at all.
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
One of the most intentionally offensive movie I have seen.
This movie was hilarious, it has the kind of humour that "The Kentucky Fried Movie" would have. This film is on the same level as "Porky's", "The Kentucky Fried Movie", "There's Something About Mary", "Very Bad Things" and "American Pie". I wasn't a fan of "Porky's" but then some might call it a classic. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are very good at offending just about anyone who offended by many forms of humour. This movie was made to offend. I however was not offended at all, I felt that this movie it a reflection on society and all the intolerance and hatred that comes with it. They are also, I think, pointing out that a movie is just a movie no matter how vile and ugly it is and it can't hurt you if you don't let it. Many, many movies have come out that show people being senselessly killed, not too many come out that contain so much perverse language and profanity. for some reason, violence and killing is more acceptable than sex. Some may hate this movie simply because it reaches many taboo subjects. This movie is about intolerance and all the chaos it brings - those who are intolerant may not see that message.
The Matrix (1999)
One fantastic Kung Fu movie.
Like any action film, special effects are all over and the plot is outrageous. Keanu plays a guy who wants to know what the Matrix is for some strange reason. He sure finds out. Through most of the movie, I had the feeling that the director likes Bruce Lee. Most of the movie didn't really make any sense. Why would Keanu's character need to learn martial arts to fight in a world that doesn't really exist? He could just think something and it would happen. Technically, this is just a Kung Fu movie but with special effects and a goofy 'is this world real' premise. I did like this movie even though it doesn't make too much sense. Also, the obvious Nokia cellphone advertisements were obnoxious.
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)
The only reason I saw this movie was because Calista Flockhart and Kevin Kline were in it.
I like A Midsummer Night's Dream. It reminded me of my many errors and infatuations with certain others. I noticed a few scenes were not in the original Shakespeare production. I suppose they were put in because actions going on later in the play hinted them and the movie had them brought to life. Kevin Kline's acting was intentionally over-the-top to indicate how much of an "ass" he is to others. Calista ironically takes on a similar role on the Ally McBeal show. In both roles she playes someone who is constantly searching for love. In this movie, the search is more successful. The movie seems to be a large metaphor saying love conquers all and what goes around, comes around.