- Jake Peralta: I think Holt got into my head. We might have to delay the press conference.
- Charles Boyle: But this is the moment we've been waiting for. My dad's driving home early from his brother's funeral to watch it live.
- Jake Peralta: Wait, he's doing what?
- Charles Boyle: If you want me to put it in a better context, I can't. This was very important to him.
- Jake Peralta: All right, listen, Fogle. We have a councilman in the hospital and his shooter is still at large. We don't have time for this incompetence. I want your partner off the case, what's his name?
- Officer Debbie Fogle: It's Raymond Holt.
- Jake Peralta: Oh! It's Dad... I mean, Captain Holt! I mean, Captain Dad. I mean, Officer Holt. I mean, Officer Dad. Yep, that was it. Officer Dad, I found it.
- Officer Debbie Fogle: Okay, I know you haven't done this in a while, so here's a tip... keep your hat on. Because of all the standing still, the pigeons think we're statues and they will poop on you or peck you. Both are bad.
- Raymond Holt: Thank you for the helpful tip.
- Officer Debbie Fogle: Oh, I've got a ton of them. They're mostly about the dangers of standing. A year on the beat without prescription insoles can take two years off your life.
- Raymond Holt: Any way to speed the process up?
- Rosa Diaz: Okay, good news. I found a bodega in the containment zone and got a bunch of pregnancy tests.
- Amy Santiago: A bunch?
- Rosa Diaz: Yeah. It's a New York bodega, you can't be too cautious.
- Amy Santiago: Good point.
- [They start checking the pregnancy tests]
- Amy Santiago: Yep, expired ten years ago.
- Rosa Diaz: Open. And used!
- Amy Santiago: Made of gummies? Why?
- Rosa Diaz: Weirdly vibrating.
- Amy Santiago: This is for teens. That's dark.
- Amy Santiago: Urgh! Nothing's working!
- Rosa Diaz: Maybe you just need to laugh. Here, look at this video of a man being trampled by a moose.
- Amy Santiago: Dear Lord, that's horrifying!
- Rosa Diaz: I know, it's hilarious.
- Jake Peralta: I think we need to find that hot dog cart guy.
- Charles Boyle: Okay, fine. But who do we know that could find us a random New York hot dog guy?
- Hitchcock: [Cut to Hitchcock and Scully, who arrive at the crime scene in slow motion, sunglasses on] So, you need a little help from the Weiner Warriors.
- Jake Peralta: Well, I hate that. Just tell us what you know, please?
- Hitchcock: There's Lou's Dogs, he serves 'em up real plump.
- Scully: Big Mike's does two dogs per bun.
- Hitchcock: Hank's Franks... great mustard selection.
- Scully: Vicki's Vegan? I'd rather eat *bleep*.
- Hitchcock: Charlie does an al dente dog, it's got a really nice chew.
- Scully: Johnny Arkansas serves it Little Rock style, although he can serve it Razorback-style.
- Jake Peralta: Okay, enough, enough! We don't have time for this! Just tell us who has a cart at 6th and 11th.
- Hitchcock: Oh, there are no hot dog carts there.
- Charles Boyle: What? Never?
- Scully: No way.
- Hitchcock: Not a chance!
- Scully: Zoning issue. Forget about it, Jake. It's Hungertown.
- Officer Debbie Fogle: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die before I ever got to find my twin sister's killer.
- Raymond Holt: What?
- Officer Debbie Fogle: That's the reason I joined the force, remember? To find the man who murdered my twin sister. That's my whole story!
- Raymond Holt: Debbie, there's no you told me that.