(2018 Video)

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Full marks for sex and acting; poor action
lor_15 January 2019
Sweetheart Films' new wonder-boy Boisvert/Greenwood thought he had a no-brainer with this Sapphic Porn tribute to Roller Derby, but managed to muff the opportunity. After noting his character names drawn from Russ Meyer films I assumed he would pay tribute by delivering some decent action footage, but no.

Instead we get Roller Derby without the Roller track -just lesbian women, some beautiful and many merely loaded up with tattoos, in-fighting their way into Sapphic couplings. Sure, other labels in these benighted times get away with generic sex, but Sweetheart (founded by Nica Noelle whose voice still introduces every video with tones of "Real Sex, Real Lovemaking") has higher standards.

Stoya is cast as the coach of the Pussy Posse, a squad whose home city is left undesignated but is presuambly the city of angels. Old vet Joanna Angel wants to make a comeback with the team but must contend with young and lean talent equally motivated to make the squad.

She is oddly pitted against Gia Paige, playing a bad guy for a change, but little dramatic content transpires. Boisvert's script emphasizes corn rather than camp, maintaining a serious tone that lacks even comic relief, as tattooed Angel comes to the aid of the team's sort of underage mascot played by miscast Elsa Jean, stuttering and stammering her way into your heart.

With apparently real-life Rollers on the payroll (Mange Moi El Cul has both an acting role and a Roller Derby consultant credit) it is inexcusable that we get zero Roller Derby footage. There are closeups of women's legs sort of skating, but no Roller track is shown, no wide shots of Jams permitted, and the wait-for-it Texas Brawl called for by Angel to determine supremacy is pure anti-climax.

We're left with sex scenes like the too-many-tattoos combinations, mature ladies in the shower for Stoya and Angel, and of course May/December action involving jail-bait superstar Elsa. I enjoyed Dana Vespoli's boxing movie without any boxing for Sweetheart -"Lefty", but enough is enough.
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