- Missy Cooper: [Mary has been tapped to re-vamp the church's Hallowe'en festivities after complaints the previous year] So it's not gonna be scary?
- Mary Cooper: It will, but without all the blood and gore.
- Missy Cooper: But I like blood and gore
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: Hang on. Y'all are tryin' to scare people into joinin' the church?
- Mary Cooper: Yeah, but people like gettin' scared on Hallowe'en anyway. Why not make 'em jump in the right direction?
- Sheldon Cooper: Actually, fear has been a recruiting tactic used by organized religion for centuries. When you add guilt to keep people in line, it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control.
- Mary Cooper: Our religion is based on love, Sheldon, not fear.
- Sheldon Cooper: What happens when people don't follow the rules?
- Mary Cooper: They burn in Hell.
- [everyone stops eating their dinner, stunned]
- Mary Cooper: Because God loves 'em.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Voiceover] She asked to be saved by Jesus. And, as it turns out, she was - she went on to live a life devoted to God, feeding the poor, even helping her sister start a literary program for female prisoners. My brother, on the other hand, became a devout atheist after that night.