- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Tastes a blood-looking substance at crime scene] It's corn syrup.
- Olivia Moore: Nice work, Ravi.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Thank you.
- Olivia Moore: ...You just ate 57 empty calories.
- Clive Babineaux: [Liv's eye is twitching] You having a vision?
- Olivia Moore: I'm Kegeling. Pelvic floor. Tragically overlooked muscle group.
- Jimmy: [about his comedy troupe doing zombie sketches] We go all out, too, you know. Like white wigs, zombie makeup.
- Clive Babineaux: So you paint your face and appropriate another culture?
- Jimmy: Oh. Never thought about it that way.
- Olivia Moore: A pint of ranch dressing is 2,200 calories. FYI.
- Clive Babineaux: Good to know. Thanks.
- Olivia Moore: It's just... I know you like ranch dressing.
- Clive Babineaux: I usually manage to avoid having a pint in a sitting.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: We produce the episodes, we post them online. The episodes go viral.
- Peyton Charles: Viral's good.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Right. Think about what Will & Grace did for gay people. Or what The Cosby Show did for...
- Peyton Charles: Let's not use that example.
- Peyton Charles: I'm exhausted. I just watched a barbershop quartet do Ebony and Ivory. Two of them in whiteface.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: It's just Peyton. She's just a little bit...
- Olivia Moore: Underwhelmed in the sack?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: What? Did she say something?
- Olivia Moore: You're probably overdoing it. It's a common mistake for young men. It's simpler than you think. You know, four hours before sex, you just take an ice bath, eat three Brazil nuts...
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Okay, thank you.
- Olivia Moore: ...a spoon of fermented trout butter, and then, during the jam sesh, you just, sort of, soak. You know, think of it as a hot tub. Not a lap pool. And focus on the eyes.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: ...I was gonna say she's a bit overwhelmed at work.
- Major Lilywhite: My job is pretending to be RoboCop, but knowing the Buzzfeed Quiz explicitly told me I'm a C-3PO.
- Olivia Moore: Well, I am on board for all your reforms, for what it's worth.
- Major Lilywhite: And Ravi keeps reminding me that C-3PO's an Ewok god, so, I've got that going for me.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: So, I've got some weird news.
- Olivia Moore: Oh, you and Peyton tried the soak-and-stare technique.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Uh, no.
- Major Lilywhite: It's the worst. My job is pretending to be Robo Cop, but the Buzzfeed Quiz explicitly told me I'm a C3-PO.