- Randy: At least I didn't really have butt sex with Harvey Weinstein.
- [finds a used condom]
- Randy: Or did I?
- Randy: Did you know that Snoop Dogg smokes weed?
- Shelly: Yes, everyone knows that Snoop Dogg is a stupid pothead!
- PC Principal: All right everyone, listen up. Halloween has almost arrived, and I want to make sure that we are all aware of certain guidelines when it comes to Halloween costumes at school. Now, I don't want to see any fucking sombreros! All right, if I see any fucking Mexican sombreros, or anyone fucking dressed like a fucking Native American, I'm going to lose my fucking shit! There will be no hobos or bums, anything depicting people from low income households.
- Eric Cartman: Oh! No Halloween for you, Kenny.
- PC Principal: And lastly, heed my fucking words. If I see any of you girls dressed as fucking Moana, I'm going to lose my fucking mind!
- Randy Marsh: Hey, I guess I slept in late, huh? What time is it?
- Sharon Marsh: It's 8:15 am. November 3rd.
- Randy Marsh: Ooh, wow. That was some strong ass Halloween special, y'all. I mean, I saw rapists in the hot tub, zombie cows. I thought I was going to die, and then this fat bitchy angel came and put me to bed. Did everyone enjoy the Halloween special?
- Sharon Marsh: No, Randy. Only you did.
- Randy Marsh: Oh. Well, that was pretty much my target audience anyway.
- Randy: This week, Tegridy Farms is doing a Halloween special!