- Gene Belcher: [Walking Backward Slowly] Uhhh, Louise? Based on how far my wiener has retracted into my body, we should go home too.
- Teddy: Boy, who invited Dr. Scrooge?
- Bob Belcher: Scrooge was not a doctor.
- Teddy: Not a medical doctor, right?
- [after planning to have Mandy throw snowballs at the bullies]
- Louise Belcher: Santa, look away. This isn't for your delicate eyes.