- Roseanne Conner: I'm worried about not waking up from this surgery.
- Dan Conner: You'll be fine, you have a great doctor, he's won all his lawsuits.
- Roseanne Conner: Well, God, tomorrow they put me under to operate on my knee. I hope that I see my husband's face when I wake up, and not Yours...
- [looks up]
- Roseanne Conner: No offense!
- Darlene Conner: [waking Dan up] Dad!
- Dan Conner: What?
- Darlene Conner: Mom's yelling 'Fire!' in the bathroom, and I'm not going in there.
- Chuck: What am I supposed to do now that I lost my job?
- Dan Conner: I always told you, 'If I'm eating, *you're* eating'... I'm *not* eating.
- Becky Conner-Healy: [storms in the front door] WAKE UP, MORTICIA!
- Darlene Conner: [on the couch trying to sleep] Shut up, I didn't get home from work until 2.
- Becky Conner-Healy: Mom told me you weren't making a lot of tips, so I brought something that will help.
- [tosses her a black push up bra]
- Darlene Conner: Oh great, just what I needed.
- [lays it over her eyes like a sleep mask]
- Becky Conner-Healy: It's called a waitress's best friend.
- Darlene Conner: When was the last time a man ever had to do something like this to get a job?