- Blaine DeBeers: You remember when I was on that real-estate agent brain a couple weeks ago?
- Don E: Yeah. You were asking me all those non-sequitur questions aimed at determining my annual income?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: We're calling the prison bus murders "Satan's Jigsaw Puzzle".
- Olivia Moore: We started with the face pieces and are working our way out.
- Detective Halpern: Don't waste your sympathy on these guys. They're the worst of the worst.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Who's that guy who put his victims' organs in jars?
- Detective Halpern: Perry the Pickler.
- Detective Schumacker: There's Ice Pick Rick, Zombie Killer Cain...
- Peyton Charles: [Reading a text from Ravi's phone] "Mosco Bandiwax fell to his death in the Cavern of Nasty Pricks." Does that mean anything to anyone?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Only to a little old halfling lady in Mirkwood who will have one less mince pie to bake during the Feast of Belbuck.
- Clive Babineaux: What can you tell us about our human victim?
- Enzo Lambert: [Opens pad] The 206 Weekly says "Walden Schwartzman was a promising voice in the underground Seattle rap scene". He went by the name 'Dirty Reign'. It also says he was feuding with his identical twin brother, Weston. Better known as 'Lil Drizzle'.
- [Closes pad]
- Enzo Lambert: Okay. Have fun "getting jiggy with it".
- Major Lilywhite: [Catching Ravi playing D&D] So, you know, I'm out on the streets trying to catch a murderer.
- Clive Babineaux: I catch a murderer every week.
- Blaine DeBeers: You don't want to know what I had to do to get this brain.
- Don E: You want me to blue brain it? Or...
- Blaine DeBeers: It's my $100,000 gift to you.
- Don E: What? Did you get me Kid Rock?
- Blaine DeBeers: No.
- Don E: If you bought a brain for 100 grand and I'm the one eating it, there's no way it's gonna be anything good.
- Jordan Gladwell: Is that Lil' Bones Jones?
- Major Lilywhite: You mean Major Jones.
- Jordan Gladwell: Major Jones with a major booze Jones, Major Major.
- Weston 'Lil' Drizzle' Schwartzman: 'Sup, shawty? What is good?
- Olivia Moore: On my grind, you know. Gettin' that schmoney.
- Olivia Moore: [Rapping] Comin' at you from the basement of the SPD / It's the E to the M to the C-E-E / ME's rolling up for an autopsy / Getting brain like a boss / Call me Queen Zombie
- Candy Baker: Did Blaine really tell the mayor he could have me on the house, and we'd go all night?
- Don E: Yes. In fairness, the whole city is on lockdown. So, it's not as if you could leave anyway.
- Candy Baker: So I may as well just stay here and spank Mayor Freakfest for eight hours?
- [Waves at him with false nicety]
- Candy Baker: Hi...
- [Back To Don E]
- Candy Baker: Is that what's happening?
- Don E: Blaine always has a good reason for doing what he does.
- [Stares at her breasts]
- Don E: I usually just motorboat with it.
- Don E: You sprang for the optional Core i7 CPU?
- Blaine DeBeers: Mmm-hmm.
- Don E: Will you judge me if I happy cry?
- Blaine DeBeers: Yes.