Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Ke Huy Quan: Waymond Wang

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Quotes 

• Waymond Wang : [subtitles]  So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

• Waymond Wang : You think I'm weak don't you?

  CEO Waymond : [to Movie Star Evelyn]  All of those years ago when we first fell in love, your father would say I was too sweet for my own good. Maybe he was right.

  Waymond Wang : .

  [to Verse-Jumpers] 

  Waymond Wang : Please! Please! Can we... can we just stop fighting?

  CEO Waymond : You tell me it's a cruel world and we're all running around in circles. I know that. I've been on this earth just as many days as you.

  Waymond Wang : I know you are all fighting because you are scared and confused. I'm confused too. All day, I don't know what the heck is going on. But somehow, this feels like it's all my fault.

  CEO Waymond : When I choose to see the good side of things, I'm not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It's how I've learned to survive through everything.

  Waymond Wang : I don't know. The only thing I do know... is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind - especially when we don't know what's going on.

  CEO Waymond : I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight.

• Evelyn Wang : [puts google eye on her forehead] 

  Waymond Wang : What are you doing?

  Evelyn Wang : Learning to fight like you.

• Joy Wang : Mom, just stop! Good for you. You're figuring your shit out. And that's great. I'm really, really happy for you. But I'm tired. I don't want to hurt anymore. And for some reason when I'm with you, it just hurts the both of us. So let's just go our separate ways, ok? Just let me go!

  Evelyn Wang : Ok.

  [pause] 

  Evelyn Wang : Wait. You are getting fat. And you never call me even though we have a family plan. And it's free. You only visit when you need something. And you got a tattoo and I don't care if it's supposed to represent our family. You know I hate tattoos. And of all the places I could be, why would I want to be here with you? Yes, you're right. It doesn't make sense.

  Waymond Wang : Evelyn, stop. That's enough!

  Joy Wang : Let her finish!

  Evelyn Wang : Maybe it's like you said. Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit. Something that explains why you still went looking for me through all of this noise. And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always, always, want to be here with you.

  [Joy starts crying] 

  Joy Wang : So what? You're just gonna ignore everything else? You could be anything, anywhere. Why not go somewhere where your daughter is more than just this? Here, all we get are a few specks of time where any of this actually makes any sense.

  Evelyn Wang : Then I will cherish these few specks of time.

  [Evelyn and Joy embrace] 

• Alpha Waymond : I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never a Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished. Dreams you never followed. You are living your worst you.

  Evelyn Wang : I cannot be the worst. What about that hot dog one?

  Alpha Waymond : No. Everyone here agrees. This one's worse. Can't you see? Every failure here, branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here... you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

• Alpha Waymond : Every rejection, every disappointment has led you to this moment. Don't let anything distract you from it.

• Waymond Wang : I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you're right. Maybe we would have been better off, if we had never gotten married.

  Evelyn Wang : I never said that.

  Waymond Wang : You didn't have to. It's the way you look at me.

• Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang? Hello? Look, I'm sure you have a lot on your mind, but I cannot imagine anything mattering more than the conversation we are now having concerning your tax liability. Need I remind you that there is already a lien on your property? Repossession is well within our rights.

  Evelyn Wang : I know. I am paying attention.

  [Deirdre gestures behind her to some very suggestively-looking trophies behind her with her name on them] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Do you see these? You don't get one of these unless you've seen a lot of bullshit. Excuse my French. Now you may only see a pile of boring forms and numbers, but I see a story. With nothing but a stack of receipts, I can trace the ups and downs of your lives. And it does not look good. It. Does. Not. Look Good.

  Waymond Wang : Sorry, my wife confuses her hobbies for businesses! An honest mistake.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Oh. Okay. Well, with all of these "honest mistakes", I mean, even if we don't charge you with fraud, we'll most certainly have to fine you for gross negligence.

• Evelyn Wang : There is no way I am the Evelyn you are looking for.

  Alpha Waymond : No, I see it so clearly.

  Evelyn Wang : See what? I'm no good at anything.

  Alpha Waymond : Exactly. I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never an Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed. You're living your worst you.

  Evelyn Wang : I cannot be the worst. What about the hot dog one?

  Alpha Waymond : No. Can't you see? Every failure here branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

• Alpha Waymond : You can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.

  Evelyn Wang : I want to lie here.

• [in the middle of the tax meeting] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang, are you with us?

  Evelyn Wang : Yes. Of course. I am here. Just... thinking.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Oh, okay. Well, I was just hoping that you could explain this.

  [Deidre places a receipt on the table. Evelyn looks at it] 

  Evelyn Wang : This is a receipt. My receipt.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Look, I... I was just hoping that you could enlighten me as to how, as a laundromat owner, a *karaoke machine* could constitute a business expense.

  Evelyn Wang : [meekly]  I am a singer.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : [sighs]  Of course you are.

  Waymond Wang : It's true. She has a beautiful voice! Oh! Evelyn, sing a song for her.

  Evelyn Wang : Shh!

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : No, no, please. That will not be necessary. But I will need a separate Schedule C for each of these businesses because based on what you're trying to deduct...

  [Deirdre shuffles through a pile of forms, referencing them at random] 

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : ...you're also a novelist and a chef, a teacher, a singing coach, and a "Watsu" technician. I'm sorry, what... what is "Watsu"?

  Waymond Wang : It's a water massage.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : What's a water massage?

  Waymond Wang : Like for back pain. You go get a water massage.

  Deirdre Beaubeirdra : Oh, you go?

  Waymond Wang : Yes.

• Jobu Tupaki : [to Evelyn]  I got bored one day - and I put everything on a bagel. Everything. All my hopes and dreams, my old report cards, every breed of dog, every last personal ad on craigslist. Sesame. Poppy seed. Salt. And it collapsed in on itself. 'Cause, you see, when you really put everything on a bagel, it becomes this.

  Alpha Waymond : Come on. Run, Evelyn.

  Jobu Tupaki : The truth.

  Evelyn Wang : What is the truth?

  Jobu Tupaki : Nothing... matters.

• Evelyn Wang : What if... I want to go back? Back to the other universe...

  Alpha Waymond : [Waymond begins shaking her furiously]  Shut it down. Shut it down! Are you with me? Come back!

• Evelyn Wang : You are like puppets. You know? Puppets? You can do things you normally cannot do. It's like that movie. Um, you... you... That movie...

  Jobu Tupaki : OK, what are you talking about?

  Waymond Wang : A movie?

  Evelyn Wang : 'Raccaccoonie'!

  Waymond Wang : What?

  Jobu Tupaki : Huh?

  Evelyn Wang : 'Raccaccoonie', you know? The one with the chef... And he makes bad food. Phooey. And then this raccoon sit on his head, ooh, control him, and then he cooks good food.

  Jobu Tupaki : Do you mean 'Ratatouille'?

  Waymond Wang : 'Ratatouille'? I like that movie.

  Evelyn Wang : No. No, no, no, no, no. 'Raccaccoonie'! With the raccoon.

  Jobu Tupaki : OK...

  Evelyn Wang : Everybody, stop making up sounds!

  Waymond Wang : So there's... there's a raccoon Joy, and there's a raccoon me? And they are controlling us?

  Evelyn Wang : Yeah, from the other universes.

  Jobu Tupaki : Oh. OK.

  Waymond Wang : That's very funny, Evelyn.

  Evelyn Wang : OK, it sounds a little bit ridiculous, but it's true.

• Alpha Waymond : You underestimate how the smallest decisions can compound into significant differences over a lifetime. Every tiny decision creates another branching universe, another - were you not paying attention before?

  Evelyn Wang : Of course! You're just very bad at explaining.

• Evelyn Wang : How did I die?

  Alpha Waymond : I've seen you die a thousand ways, in a thousand worlds. In every single one, you were murdered.

  Evelyn Wang : What? Why would anybody want to kill me?

  Alpha Waymond : She's an omniversal being with unimaginable power, an agent of pure chaos, with no real motives or desires. Jobu Tupaki.

  Evelyn Wang : You're just making up sounds.

• Alpha Waymond : She's been building something. We thought it was some sort of black hole. But it appears to consume more than just light and matter. We don't know exactly what it is. We don't know what it's for. But we can all feel it. You've been feeling it too, haven't you? Something is off. Your clothes never wear as well the next day. Your hair never falls in quite the same way. Even your coffee tastes - wrong. Our institutions are crumbling. Nobody trusts their neighbor anymore. And you stay up at night wondering to yourself...

  Evelyn Wang : How can we get back?

  Alpha Waymond : This is the Alphaverse's mission - to take us back to how it's supposed to be.

• Alpha Waymond : It's like eating the chap stick or switching shoes. We developed an algorithm that calculates which statistically improbable action will place you in a universe on the edge of your local cluster, which then sling shots you to the desired universe.

  Evelyn Wang : That doesn't make any sense!

  Alpha Waymond : Exactly! The less sense it makes, the better. The Stochastic Path Algorithm is fuel led by random actions.

• Alpha Waymond : Paper cuts only happen when you aren't trying.

• Alpha Waymond : Your mind, it's like a clay pot holding water. Every jump opens another crack, causing things to leak through. With training, you will learn to reseal these cracks.

• Joy Wang : Oh, my God. He's trying to stick it in his butt.

  Waymond Wang : Evelyn, do jumping jacks!

  Joy Wang : That's not weird at all.

  Waymond Wang : Slap him!

  Joy Wang : Mom, just blow on his nose!

  Evelyn Wang : What?

  Joy Wang : What? It'll make him involuntarily scream and do weird noises.

  Waymond Wang : Trust her, Evelyn! It's really weird.

• Alpha Waymond : Evelyn, what you're doing is crazy, reckless. Your stupid plan to somehow save your daughter has managed to piss off everyone in the multiverse. But it just might work.

• CEO Waymond : Give it up. He who loves the most regrets the most. Let's not live in a fantasy.

• Alpha Waymond : Look, this is your universe, one bubble floating in the cosmic foam of existence. Every surrounding bubble has slight variations. But the further away you get from your universe, the bigger the differences.

• Alpha Waymond : You were a brilliant woman. In your search to prove the existence of other universes, you discovered a way to temporarily link your consciousness to another version of yourself, accessing all of their memories, their skills, even their emotions.

• Alpha Waymond : Her mind experiences every world, every possibility, at the same exact time, commanding the infinite knowledge and power of the multiverse. Now she's seen too much, lost any sense of morality, any belief in objective truth.

• Waymond Wang : Joy, why are you here?

  Joy Wang : I have no fucking clue!

  Waymond Wang : Hey, gentle language!

• Waymond Wang : What happened? Was I Raccoon Waymond again?